Milocat's Long Road Home..

joeyjimbles

I'm relieved for you.
It must feel like a huge weight off your shoulders and having a plan in place to get rid of it all will make you feel so much more in control. I know the DH said he was going to leave the finances up to you but I hope he's either still doing that so assumes there is still little wiggle room or that he's now involved so he knows that the 'spare' money is already spoken for and not for future insert word gate, it's a tough mindset to change.
Anyway, I hope the sun is shining for you when you get home from work and you get a lovely day today.

teafor2

Morning Milocat Good to read Stepchange has all been sorted out. I totally second what JJ has said about it being a huge weight off your shoulders and also that your OH is hopefully fully on board with everything and completely understands the situation.

Bless your DD. DS did a sack race one year and he was still trying to get in it when the others were halfway down the field. :rotfl: xx

milocat

And in the way of the world the scales have tipped in the opposite direction and I've just been informed my uncle has passed away. I'm heartbroken. And now need to scramble to fund an unexpected trip to Scotland to go to the funeral.

teafor2

Sorry to hear that Milocat. Will you all go or will OH stay home and look after the little one. xx

milocat

teafor2 wrote: »

Sorry to hear that Milocat. Will you all go or will OH stay home and look after the little one. xx

I think I'll ask him to come with me and leave little one with his sister. It all depends on if its the weekend we have his children or not - if it is I'll be going by myself. I'm at work and it's rubbish trying to keep it together. I want a stiff drink and a good cry.

I suppose the only bonus to Stepchange being set up is that it might be slightly easier to find the money.

joeyjimbles

Oh bless you, so sorry to hear of your news.

Thick_n_Thin

Sorry to hear your news x

milocat

Morning everyone. Thank you for your condolences Feeling a bit stronger today, like I have my head back on straight. We opened the vintage port my dad bought when I was born. The original intention was to celebrate with it, but no moment ever felt like the right one until last night. I know his brother would have appreciated us drinking it in his honor. Surprisingly for 40 year old port, I have no headache this morning. I do vaguely remember asking my father in law to walk me down the aisle though. He almost cried. OH hasn't even proposed yet... :whistle:

I'm in the process of switching my bank account to our joint account fully, and when I went to pay some money off the holiday I found I couldn't! My card no longer works even though my account switch isn't finalised yet. I left my joint account card at home so I can't pay with that either. It was nice waking up to my paycheck in the joint account though, it's only had a penny in it since we opened it last month so it feels good to start using it.

I wrote out and printed off my budget this morning and I've stuck it in the front of my filofax for quick reference. This weekend I'm going to apply for my first British passport, do a small mountain of ironing, do my meter readings for the new supplier, figure out where I'm going to get a bug costume for little ones end of year "ugly-bug" ball (I honestly think the school is making up ideas at this point) and get all of next weeks food because we are going to be giving up meat and dieting because while we are both in shape, that shape is very definitely ROUND and it needs to not be before I am expected to put on a swimsuit. :rotfl: It will do me some good to keep busy anyway.

I've scanned in all my Stepchange paperwork too, and now I just need to email it over along with the list of account numbers, then that's all done. We need to cancel the direct debits and cpas too, but I'll get OH to do that tonight. When I came home yesterday he'd done the dishes, mowed the lawn, fixed the downstairs flush, and put up a bug zapper in the conservatory. He's slowly but surely adapting haha.

milocat

I hope everyone had a good weekend!

My FIL finally left on Sunday morning, 5 days after he arrived. OH rang him this morning and FIL hung up by saying "See you later!".... I hope not! I'm all peopled out at this point.

This weekend I did the following
- emailed Stepchange my masterlist of debt, cancelled the direct debits and CPA's from OH's account and attached proof of my earnings
- applied for British Passport which is a total headache. I found my parent's passports, and used that information to complete the application but they still are asking me for my father's birth certificate, their marriage certificate and my full birth certificate. So all in all so far this has cost me about £100...
- Bought little one a costume for her ball. She will be going as a ladybird! (Thanks Google) Complete with deeley boppers.
- Booked the hotel for the trip to Scotland for the funeral next weekend and tried to not have a meltdown at how much it's going to cost me. We calculated on MPG and fuel costs we will need to refuel 2 or 3 times just to get there.
- Bought a funeral outfit.
- Did not buy any healthy food. I have discovered that I really like Linda Mccartneys veggie burgers/sausages though, so I don't think I'll be buying meat ones any more.

Generally speaking I forgot how exhausting grieving is. I've turned into a right cow because I've been trying to supress how much this has upset me and therefore snapping at everyone. All I really want to do is sleep but that isn't an option when you work full time. It's also really tempting to just go nuts and spend a whole load of money that is set aside for the funeral, but I don't want to be selfish and screw up like I have before just to try and numb my emotions. I've already spent too much trying to sort out the passport and everything else...

It's inset today so little one is with OH. I hope he survives. I'll be going home to the neverending mountain of laundry and hopefully I'll sneak in a bath and half an hour with my book.

teafor2

Hi Milocat Grieving is exhausting or rather having to carry on as normal is Plus it's hard enough when you've lost somebody close and there are no logistics to really sort out but you're having to also arrange travel and book hotels so don't be too hard on yourself.

Does your FIL stay with you a lot? We lived close to hubby's mum and dad and his dad would 'pop round' nearly every day when I was on maternity leave :eek: I wouldn't have minded if it were just for half an hour and a quick brew but he would stay for hours. I actually locked the door a few times and hid when I saw his car passing. Bless him. He was lovely and really good to us but he just had no concept that I wasn't here to entertain him. I was knackered, with a new born and a load of housework and washing piling up.

Make sure you get in that bath tonight and have a bit of down time or a good blub if that helps. xx