Hi Milocat Really sorry to read things are unsettled at the minute. I'm pretty rubbish with financial advice but good at encouragement and seeing a silver lining to most things so I hope some of this helps.
It sounds as though you've cleared the air with OH about how you want to go forward with your life and with your finances and that he's also coming to the same conclusion. You've also arrived at this decision at a pretty young age.
I can see how the holiday is making you feel bad but honestly if you're going to be no better off not going I would try to enjoy it as much as you can and keep to a budget while you're there. You're going to be coming home to 'getting your head down' regarding paying off your debts so make the most of it. Although I would make sure OH knows not to agree to anything again without discussing it with you first
Is OH not working going to be permanent from now on? Even though it will save you £130 per week on childcare and fuel, would he be able to find something part time to fit in with looking after the family?
Do you have a debt free date to work to? Don't be embarrassed about posting your budget if you think it will help. xx
Hi teafor2 (:
Thank you for trying to make me feel better about the holiday, I do appreciate it. Unfortunately its impulsiveness like this that has landed us in such trouble, so I hope that now we are committing to a DMP and sorting it all out that the impulsiveness can be managed with the occasional pastry from Lidl instead of 4 figure purchases. It will be a wonderful time and I am looking forward to it, I just wish I didn't feel crippled by it currently.
As far as OH not having work, it sort of is undecided how he proceeds. I think eventually he will look for something more local, or try and start a little side business for himself doing landscaping or something. His dad has offered to invest if OH can come up with a good enough idea, but I genuinely think it is just too much of a risk. While we can manage on my wage, it won't be forever and I think he will get bored of being at home pretty quick once he realises the laundry piles don't actually diminish, the dog always needs walking and the dishes always need washing
Rough budget is outlined below - as I've said the amount we spend on TV is awful but it does include both BT Sports and Sky Sports, as well as Sky Movies. The way my household works is that 90% of it is sports mad and usually watching Sky Sports, unless its Champions League and then its BT Sports. I'm not sold on keeping Sky Movies, but Netflix is in the kids bedrooms as the boys won't sleep without TV on and I won't pay for Sky Multiroom. I miss the days of all the football being on terrestrial channels as it does make me sick how much we pay to not miss a match. We did think about cancelling the sports packages, but then OH would go to the pub to watch them instead, and that would almost certainly guarantee that he would spend more than £50 a month on alcohol whilst watching. We also have tiptop speedy internet because with 5 children all on different devices (sometimes more than one at once) if we didn't have decent internet winter would not be survivable. Sorry for the massive disclaimer, but I do feel really rubbish about the fact its one of my biggest bills, as well as totally mortified.
With all that being said, here goes...
Bills Council Tax £179.00 Gas and Electric £132.00 Welsh Water £62.00 Sky inc. BT Sport £100.00 Vodafone £100.00 (both in contract of £50 a month, and I've only recently upgraded so am stuck with this amount) Car Tax £20.00 Car Insurance £40.00 Car Finance £207.00 (taken out in OH grandfather's name and paid back to him monthly) Park £45.00 (aiming for £600 in vouchers by Christmas - £100 for each child and leeway) Amazon Prime £10.00 Netflix £10.00 Conservatory £140.00 (secured on the house, has to be paid) TV License £15.00 Food £200.00 Fuel £150.00 (including 160mile round trip 4 times a month to collect children) Liquids £40.00 (we both quit smoking, my OH now vapes) Stepchange TO BE CONFIRMED
Let the judgement commence. Haha (:
Laura 20.08.14 ♡ Ivy 05.07.13 "...within me there lay an invincible summer."
There's a lot to be said for small pleasures Milocat, especially of the pastry variety
Well done on biting the bullet and posting your bills :T I don't think you'll find anybody on here judging you but you'll definitely find people trying to help TBH I don't really understand all the TV packages, hubby deals with them, but I'm definitely on the same page as you with regard to speedy internet and multiple devices in different rooms to keep everybody happy and give me a quiet life
I don't get phones either. Ours get handed down in the family and I'm always bottom of the list lol. I have an i-phone 5 according to DD who've I just had to ask. :rotfl: As long as I can text, call and read the headlines with it I'm happy.
I guess I would justify spending on all the entertainment as well if it stopped my hubby going to the pub and spending even more money. It's a fine balance isn't it.
Great that you can manage on your wage and that OH will probably eventually look for work. Have you filled out one of the SOA forms? Not particularly to be posted on here but just to help you see where your money goes. When I first read one I was amazed at how many things need to be budgeted for that people obviously don't realise. xx
Sports channels and WiFi are the two main non-negotiables in our house too. I get you there.
I can’t see anything in the budget for your super speedy internet though. Is that part of the £100 to Sky? If so that’s a lot less than I’m paying!
Hi (:
Yeah it is, we have Sky Sports on half price for the next few months and BT for £20 so I think I pay about £80 for all my Sky including internet. It is a stupid number though, I never had TV growing up and now I think I might be rather addicted...
Laura 20.08.14 ♡ Ivy 05.07.13 "...within me there lay an invincible summer."
First of all, you are a superstar. The holiday is a no-brainer in terms of how much cost you have already paid and you will have a lovely time when you are there.
Is OH tech savvy at all? Whilst he's at home might he be interested in some of the working from home jobs that people do on the Boost Your Income threads on here - Appen or iSoftstone come up regularly and you apparently get regular hours of work from them but from home, and as you have decent internet/gadgets it could be something for him.
I get the impression that surveys/mystery shopping etc would perhaps seem like too much work for too little gain for him but again it's worth considering.
I set myself targets on surveys etc. - minimum to cover is Netflix, DS1 &2 and my mobile, then an amount for the regular saver, then overpayment for loan etc....it keeps me focused and I regard it as a bit of a job to be done.
I also do the e-Rewards surveys which pay out in Nectar points and save them for the Sainsbury double up event in November and for general spending at Argos/Sainsburys for presents, big family occasions etc. Last year I made a total of £600 face value just by doing a few every day when I had a break from work, or a sit down with a coffee.
I'm sure others will have a lot more sensible contributions.
Ms 05.23 £80.00/£80.00(100%) AP 08.23 £95.00/£95.00(100%) D+ 09.23 £80.00/£80.00(100%) BP 10.23 £60.00/£60.00(100%)
Hiya. I can't see which bill included the internet? Is it the £100 sky?
Switch the not in contract vodaphone. You can get sim only deals for under £10 a month. Any chance of cancelling your upgrade or have you already had the phone etc?
Why not cancel Amazon Prime? Use eBay/ cheap shops and just shop less in your new life
Maybe save in a bank account or credit union for next Christmas instead of Park?
Are you on the best gas and electric deal? Checked recently? Read the main site tips to reduce usage?
There's a lot missing from your SOA so do look at the full template people use here to get quit full picture.
Hope these ideas are some help.
Debt at highest: £8k. Debt Free 31/12/2009. Original MFD May 2036, MF Dec 2018.
Hi MC, just read your diary and wanted to say well done for everything you have done to face your own debt and now taking over responsibility for helping OH tackle his.
Could you try and renegotiate with Sky to reduce the cost for your current package or are you in contract?
If your OH is not working at the moment does he need a car and would handing it back be an option? Or do you share one car?
First of all, you are a superstar. The holiday is a no-brainer in terms of how much cost you have already paid and you will have a lovely time when you are there.
Is OH tech savvy at all? Whilst he's at home might he be interested in some of the working from home jobs that people do on the Boost Your Income threads on here - Appen or iSoftstone come up regularly and you apparently get regular hours of work from them but from home, and as you have decent internet/gadgets it could be something for him.
I get the impression that surveys/mystery shopping etc would perhaps seem like too much work for too little gain for him but again it's worth considering.
I set myself targets on surveys etc. - minimum to cover is Netflix, DS1 &2 and my mobile, then an amount for the regular saver, then overpayment for loan etc....it keeps me focused and I regard it as a bit of a job to be done.
I also do the e-Rewards surveys which pay out in Nectar points and save them for the Sainsbury double up event in November and for general spending at Argos/Sainsburys for presents, big family occasions etc. Last year I made a total of £600 face value just by doing a few every day when I had a break from work, or a sit down with a coffee.
I'm sure others will have a lot more sensible contributions.
I'm very definitely not a superstar! I just don't want to continue being so blimming miserable all the time :cool: it is taking up far too much of my time and I really am going to have to come to terms with everything thats wrong with my life, debt included if I want to be able to live low stress.
The ideas for the e-rewards are fab, thank you for that I will look into it. Unfortunately he doesn't much enjoy technology unless its to watch the football on. I'm definitely the more tech-savvy one in this relationship, which is fine because it means he pulls me away from my phone and makes me engage with the real world a lot more than if I wasn't with him.
Hiya. I can't see which bill included the internet? Is it the £100 sky?
Switch the not in contract vodaphone. You can get sim only deals for under £10 a month. Any chance of cancelling your upgrade or have you already had the phone etc?
Why not cancel Amazon Prime? Use eBay/ cheap shops and just shop less in your new life
Maybe save in a bank account or credit union for next Christmas instead of Park?
Are you on the best gas and electric deal? Checked recently? Read the main site tips to reduce usage?
There's a lot missing from your SOA so do look at the full template people use here to get quit full picture.
Hope these ideas are some help.
Hi! (: Thanks for your ideas. Unfortunately both the phones are in contract, just my contract is a lot newer. OH still has until December before he can get out of the contract / get a different phone. I upgraded two months ago because the discount I got was only valid while I was at my last employers and I had a very broken phone that I was trying and failing to cope with. I feel guilty but also as I do almost everything on my phone, I had to sort of take it on the chin.
I use the Kindle Unlimited that comes with the Prime, and Prime TV so the prime cost sort of works out okay for me, otherwise I would spend a fortune on books that I never actually have time to read.
Next Christmas I will absolutely set up a credit union account to save into - that is a REALLY good idea. I've saved £300 odd with Park so far though, so I'm going to gracefully admit that it's probably easier for me to continue that for the time being.
I switched gas and electricity suppliers literally last week, it's been on my list of things to do for ages. Unfortunately, again due to the volume of small offspring, we have a 4 bed house, and it costs a small chunk to keep running it. I do think if I can get a smart meter then that will definitely help everyone else become a bit more aware of usage and stop me looking like such a cow when I turn off every single plug socket. It's an almost as though I'm a parody act and I'm almost definitely 3 seconds away from yelling "TURN OFF THE LIGHTS ITS LIKE THE BLACKPOOL ILLUMINATIONS IN HERE" on a very regular basis.
I know my budget is quite basic and doesn't account for haircuts and gifts and stuff. We are lucky in that we do not have a mortgage/rent situation and therefore manage to have a very rigid budget where we cut our own hair and don't buy clothes unless it can't be avoided. Quite a lot of cleaning/hygeine supplies are hidden in my food portion of the budget as well. I didn't want to go too detailed because I was at work and it's so daunting sharing how you spend your money with a bunch of very well intentioned but none the less complete internet strangers.
I'm hoping I get more open about it as time goes on.
In other news I just got off the phone to Stepchange and despite the nice man yesterday telling me if I rang back at 5pm today it would all be sorted, the man today couldn't really be bothered to do his job and now I have to ring back again TOMORROW. :mad: Then once income/expenditure and all the debts are done, they have to send out paperwork for OH to sign before the plan is active. Should I ring the creditors and explain to them that I am in the process of setting up with Stepchange and offer token payments for the next month? I want to say I could afford to make the regular payments, but I really don't think I can.
Laura 20.08.14 ♡ Ivy 05.07.13 "...within me there lay an invincible summer."
Hi MC, just read your diary and wanted to say well done for everything you have done to face your own debt and now taking over responsibility for helping OH tackle his.
Could you try and renegotiate with Sky to reduce the cost for your current package or are you in contract?
If your OH is not working at the moment does he need a car and would handing it back be an option? Or do you share one car?
Hi (: Thanks for reading. We are in contract with Sky and already get some things on reduced amount, and although I could try the "we can't afford this we are leaving" shtick, it might not work and then I could end up with no TV or Internet and then quite frankly, I would probably end up crying, :rotfl:
We share a car - I am too much of a wuss to drive. I love the idea of independence but the idea of being in charge of something that could kill me/someone else is too much for my nerves to handle. I'll get there, but for now we definitely need the one car. Unfortunately, once again because of the small army of children it was necessary to get a 7 seater so we can fit everyone in the car in one go, which does mean the finance payment is considerably higher than it would be for a 6 year old car with the normal amount of seats. Prior to this OH drove cars that were literally falling apart (our exhaust fell off on a dual carrigeway once... not an experience I would like to repeat), so it was a huge relief to have something reliable. It was also the first thing we got on finance/got into debt together for, so at the time the payments didn't seem that bad as that was all we were paying!
Laura 20.08.14 ♡ Ivy 05.07.13 "...within me there lay an invincible summer."
Replies
It sounds as though you've cleared the air with OH about how you want to go forward with your life and with your finances and that he's also coming to the same conclusion. You've also arrived at this decision at a pretty young age.
I can see how the holiday is making you feel bad but honestly if you're going to be no better off not going I would try to enjoy it as much as you can and keep to a budget while you're there. You're going to be coming home to 'getting your head down' regarding paying off your debts so make the most of it. Although I would make sure OH knows not to agree to anything again without discussing it with you first
Is OH not working going to be permanent from now on? Even though it will save you £130 per week on childcare and fuel, would he be able to find something part time to fit in with looking after the family?
Do you have a debt free date to work to? Don't be embarrassed about posting your budget if you think it will help. xx
Thank you for trying to make me feel better about the holiday, I do appreciate it. Unfortunately its impulsiveness like this that has landed us in such trouble, so I hope that now we are committing to a DMP and sorting it all out that the impulsiveness can be managed with the occasional pastry from Lidl instead of 4 figure purchases. It will be a wonderful time and I am looking forward to it, I just wish I didn't feel crippled by it currently.
As far as OH not having work, it sort of is undecided how he proceeds. I think eventually he will look for something more local, or try and start a little side business for himself doing landscaping or something. His dad has offered to invest if OH can come up with a good enough idea, but I genuinely think it is just too much of a risk. While we can manage on my wage, it won't be forever and I think he will get bored of being at home pretty quick once he realises the laundry piles don't actually diminish, the dog always needs walking and the dishes always need washing
Rough budget is outlined below - as I've said the amount we spend on TV is awful but it does include both BT Sports and Sky Sports, as well as Sky Movies. The way my household works is that 90% of it is sports mad and usually watching Sky Sports, unless its Champions League and then its BT Sports. I'm not sold on keeping Sky Movies, but Netflix is in the kids bedrooms as the boys won't sleep without TV on and I won't pay for Sky Multiroom. I miss the days of all the football being on terrestrial channels as it does make me sick how much we pay to not miss a match. We did think about cancelling the sports packages, but then OH would go to the pub to watch them instead, and that would almost certainly guarantee that he would spend more than £50 a month on alcohol whilst watching. We also have tiptop speedy internet because with 5 children all on different devices (sometimes more than one at once) if we didn't have decent internet winter would not be survivable. Sorry for the massive disclaimer, but I do feel really rubbish about the fact its one of my biggest bills, as well as totally mortified.
With all that being said, here goes...
Bills
Council Tax £179.00
Gas and Electric £132.00
Welsh Water £62.00
Sky inc. BT Sport £100.00
Vodafone £100.00 (both in contract of £50 a month, and I've only recently upgraded so am stuck with this amount)
Car Tax £20.00
Car Insurance £40.00
Car Finance £207.00 (taken out in OH grandfather's name and paid back to him monthly)
Park £45.00 (aiming for £600 in vouchers by Christmas - £100 for each child and leeway)
Amazon Prime £10.00
Netflix £10.00
Conservatory £140.00 (secured on the house, has to be paid)
TV License £15.00
Food £200.00
Fuel £150.00 (including 160mile round trip 4 times a month to collect children)
Liquids £40.00 (we both quit smoking, my OH now vapes)
Stepchange TO BE CONFIRMED
Let the judgement commence. Haha (:
"...within me there lay an invincible summer."
Well done on biting the bullet and posting your bills :T I don't think you'll find anybody on here judging you but you'll definitely find people trying to help
I don't get phones either. Ours get handed down in the family and I'm always bottom of the list lol. I have an i-phone 5 according to DD who've I just had to ask. :rotfl: As long as I can text, call and read the headlines with it I'm happy.
I guess I would justify spending on all the entertainment as well if it stopped my hubby going to the pub and spending even more money. It's a fine balance isn't it.
Great that you can manage on your wage and that OH will probably eventually look for work. Have you filled out one of the SOA forms? Not particularly to be posted on here but just to help you see where your money goes. When I first read one I was amazed at how many things need to be budgeted for that people obviously don't realise. xx
I can’t see anything in the budget for your super speedy internet though. Is that part of the £100 to Sky? If so that’s a lot less than I’m paying!
Yeah it is, we have Sky Sports on half price for the next few months and BT for £20 so I think I pay about £80 for all my Sky including internet. It is a stupid number though, I never had TV growing up and now I think I might be rather addicted...
"...within me there lay an invincible summer."
Is OH tech savvy at all? Whilst he's at home might he be interested in some of the working from home jobs that people do on the Boost Your Income threads on here - Appen or iSoftstone come up regularly and you apparently get regular hours of work from them but from home, and as you have decent internet/gadgets it could be something for him.
I get the impression that surveys/mystery shopping etc would perhaps seem like too much work for too little gain for him but again it's worth considering.
I set myself targets on surveys etc. - minimum to cover is Netflix, DS1 &2 and my mobile, then an amount for the regular saver, then overpayment for loan etc....it keeps me focused and I regard it as a bit of a job to be done.
I also do the e-Rewards surveys which pay out in Nectar points and save them for the Sainsbury double up event in November and for general spending at Argos/Sainsburys for presents, big family occasions etc. Last year I made a total of £600 face value just by doing a few every day when I had a break from work, or a sit down with a coffee.
I'm sure others will have a lot more sensible contributions.
AP 08.23 £95.00/£95.00 (100%)
D+ 09.23 £80.00/£80.00 (100%)
BP 10.23 £60.00/£60.00 (100%)
NF 04.23 £16.00/£00.00 £64.00/£64.00
X23+INS £1500.00/£0600.00
Renewal 24 £600.00/£049.00
Switch the not in contract vodaphone. You can get sim only deals for under £10 a month. Any chance of cancelling your upgrade or have you already had the phone etc?
Why not cancel Amazon Prime? Use eBay/ cheap shops and just shop less in your new life
Maybe save in a bank account or credit union for next Christmas instead of Park?
Are you on the best gas and electric deal? Checked recently? Read the main site tips to reduce usage?
There's a lot missing from your SOA so do look at the full template people use here to get quit full picture.
Hope these ideas are some help.
Could you try and renegotiate with Sky to reduce the cost for your current package or are you in contract?
If your OH is not working at the moment does he need a car and would handing it back be an option? Or do you share one car?
I'm very definitely not a superstar! I just don't want to continue being so blimming miserable all the time :cool: it is taking up far too much of my time and I really am going to have to come to terms with everything thats wrong with my life, debt included if I want to be able to live low stress.
The ideas for the e-rewards are fab, thank you for that I will look into it. Unfortunately he doesn't much enjoy technology unless its to watch the football on. I'm definitely the more tech-savvy one in this relationship, which is fine because it means he pulls me away from my phone and makes me engage with the real world a lot more than if I wasn't with him.
Hi! (: Thanks for your ideas. Unfortunately both the phones are in contract, just my contract is a lot newer. OH still has until December before he can get out of the contract / get a different phone. I upgraded two months ago because the discount I got was only valid while I was at my last employers and I had a very broken phone that I was trying and failing to cope with. I feel guilty but also as I do almost everything on my phone, I had to sort of take it on the chin.
I use the Kindle Unlimited that comes with the Prime, and Prime TV so the prime cost sort of works out okay for me, otherwise I would spend a fortune on books that I never actually have time to read.
Next Christmas I will absolutely set up a credit union account to save into - that is a REALLY good idea. I've saved £300 odd with Park so far though, so I'm going to gracefully admit that it's probably easier for me to continue that for the time being.
I switched gas and electricity suppliers literally last week, it's been on my list of things to do for ages. Unfortunately, again due to the volume of small offspring, we have a 4 bed house, and it costs a small chunk to keep running it. I do think if I can get a smart meter then that will definitely help everyone else become a bit more aware of usage and stop me looking like such a cow when I turn off every single plug socket. It's an almost as though I'm a parody act and I'm almost definitely 3 seconds away from yelling "TURN OFF THE LIGHTS ITS LIKE THE BLACKPOOL ILLUMINATIONS IN HERE" on a very regular basis.
I know my budget is quite basic and doesn't account for haircuts and gifts and stuff. We are lucky in that we do not have a mortgage/rent situation and therefore manage to have a very rigid budget where we cut our own hair and don't buy clothes unless it can't be avoided. Quite a lot of cleaning/hygeine supplies are hidden in my food portion of the budget as well. I didn't want to go too detailed because I was at work and it's so daunting sharing how you spend your money with a bunch of very well intentioned but none the less complete internet strangers.
I'm hoping I get more open about it as time goes on.
In other news I just got off the phone to Stepchange and despite the nice man yesterday telling me if I rang back at 5pm today it would all be sorted, the man today couldn't really be bothered to do his job and now I have to ring back again TOMORROW. :mad: Then once income/expenditure and all the debts are done, they have to send out paperwork for OH to sign before the plan is active. Should I ring the creditors and explain to them that I am in the process of setting up with Stepchange and offer token payments for the next month? I want to say I could afford to make the regular payments, but I really don't think I can.
"...within me there lay an invincible summer."
Hi (: Thanks for reading. We are in contract with Sky and already get some things on reduced amount, and although I could try the "we can't afford this we are leaving" shtick, it might not work and then I could end up with no TV or Internet and then quite frankly, I would probably end up crying, :rotfl:
We share a car - I am too much of a wuss to drive. I love the idea of independence but the idea of being in charge of something that could kill me/someone else is too much for my nerves to handle. I'll get there, but for now we definitely need the one car. Unfortunately, once again because of the small army of children it was necessary to get a 7 seater so we can fit everyone in the car in one go, which does mean the finance payment is considerably higher than it would be for a 6 year old car with the normal amount of seats. Prior to this OH drove cars that were literally falling apart (our exhaust fell off on a dual carrigeway once... not an experience I would like to repeat), so it was a huge relief to have something reliable. It was also the first thing we got on finance/got into debt together for, so at the time the payments didn't seem that bad as that was all we were paying!
"...within me there lay an invincible summer."