New me New start, Pania's positive Progress!

pania

Snaggles wrote: »

Oh no Pania (((hugs))). You really do deserve someone who treats you well, who is as open and honest with you as you are with him, and who puts your feelings first. If he could be that man, then fight for it, but if he will never be, you have to put your own happiness first and make some tough decisions.

You have had a crappy time, but will find the strength to get through this.

Hope you are okay xxx

I thought he was snaggles but don't think he is to be fair, I'm finding out more and more how much he keeps from me and I just want to be treated as i should be, Ie with Honesty and openess. I make it so easy to be honest with me. I'm not an unfair person, I don't go AWOL with my temper, I explain calmly and honestly why I am upset and what it is about. I give him so much money to keep himself straight and I feel like his housemaid most of the time.
He told me 3 months ago that he has no respect for me.
He told me 2 weeks ago that If i left him he wouldn't show any upset at all.
How on earth, with the latest revelation is that meant to make me feel.
If you don't respect someone how can you tell them that you love them and mean it?

Snaggles

You gotta love Zed - he comes in, quotes Shakespeare (almost), talks sense, is charmingly self deprecating, gives you a hug and a compliment or two.....what more could you possibly want?!

Snaggles

pania wrote: »

I thought he was snaggles but don't think he is to be fair, I'm finding out more and more how much he keeps from me and I just want to be treated as i should be, Ie with Honesty and openess. I make it so easy to be honest with me. I'm not an unfair person, I don't go AWOL with my temper, I explain calmly and honestly why I am upset and what it is about. I give him so much money to keep himself straight and I feel like his housemaid most of the time.
He told me 3 months ago that he has no respect for me.
He told me 2 weeks ago that If i left him he wouldn't show any upset at all.
How on earth, with the latest revelation is that meant to make me feel.
If you don't respect someone how can you tell them that you love them and mean it?

You deserve so much better than this. :grouphug: (sorry about the dodgy smiley)

pania

ZTD wrote: »

Well, I'm probably not going to be popular with this - but just remember I'm not here to either praise or bury Caesar - but to get the facts. No need to answer if you don't want.
if it will help, of course i want. you have very valid points to say ZTD and i would never dismiss your help.


Have you ever lied to him about small things? How do you react when you find out he's done something you consider bad?

I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I have never lied to him, even about small things, have been on the receiving end too many times before, it just isn't worth the lies. I usually react calmly, but in a "yes you've p*d me off as you have done this this and this and the effect on us is this this and this." take this morning for example, had a cuddle and asked "can you tell me why you felt you needed to tell me why you had paid off the loan when you hadn't, you know I love you and would support you whatever, so i don't understand why you lied." word for word, and I was told that once he had said it he had to keep it going so each time over the last 3 months finances had come up the lie had snowballed. he couldn't answer about last night and pretended to be asleep instead!! previously when I had discovered he'd lied I just left and took a little time to myself with my pony and returned after an hour and siad i understand why you have told me this but if you'd been honest with me.... I don't throw saucepans, or smash glasses, or boil the bunny on the stove:eek: maybe it would be better if i had!!!:o



Statistically one of the most common times of year.

yeah !!!!!! with it hey,



Is that not the definition of being scared of your reaction? Perhaps I'm old-fashioned...

He doesn't want to disappoint me... apparently, so why no willingness to change over the last 8 months? i'm never disappointed, just want the best for us both. see above



Women are worse. Although that's from a bloke who can't lie, can't be diplomatic and has been described as being as subtle as a brick in the face. Just don't ask me what I think and everyone is fine...

this woman may not be (only kidding)



He's trying to make himself feel better by provoking a reaction that he can then pass off as you being a biitch. He's dropped a bollock and he knows he has.

Still makes me cry, why not just hold hands up and accpet responsibility?


That's an entirely different problem and may make this one moot.



Good. Here's another. :grouphug:

Ooooh another dodgy threesome hug!!! Tres magnifique!!:rotfl:
Thank you



And so are you.

Thanks for the above ZTD, hope i've answered everything ok. Thank you for your support:kisses3:

pania

Snaggles wrote: »

You gotta love Zed - he comes in, quotes Shakespeare (almost), talks sense, is charmingly self deprecating, gives you a hug and a compliment or two.....what more could you possibly want?!

exactly snaggles, absolutely nothing more could be wanted.....:D

ZTD

Snaggles wrote: »

You gotta love Zed - he comes in, quotes Shakespeare (almost),

Well the real quote wouldn't have fitted.

Snaggles wrote: »

talks sense,

Which means Toto is going to shoot and stuff me when she sees me...

Snaggles wrote: »

is charmingly self deprecating,

Self-deprecating? It's almost always the literal truth... :eek:

Snaggles wrote: »

gives you a hug and a compliment or two.....what more could you possibly want?!

David T and John B IIRC...

pania

David T, nah, what was the quote to be then?

ZTD

pania wrote: »

David T, nah, what was the quote to be then?

Obviously the play is Julius Caesar: "I have come not to praise Caesar, but to bury him."

Snaggles

ZTD wrote: »

Self-deprecating? It's almost always the literal truth... :eek:

Oh shush, silly!

ZTD wrote: »

David T and John B IIRC...

Well, and John Simm.....but I'm not a greedy person....:rotfl:

(although if you could include Ewan McGregor, Sean Bean and Richard Hammond, I think you might just have found my idea of heaven.....sigh.......)

ZTD

pania wrote: »

He doesn't want to disappoint me... apparently, so why no willingness to change over the last 8 months?

Because it's difficult and it requires effort.

pania wrote: »

Still makes me cry, why not just hold hands up and accpet responsibility?

Because responsibility is a four-letter word (Honest! Squint a bit!)

pania wrote: »

Ooooh another dodgy threesome hug!!! Tres magnifique!!
Thank you

You've been getting them from all sides. I did warn you about the brandy sauce spoon...

pania wrote: »

Thanks for the above ZTD, hope i've answered everything ok.

Yes you have.

pania wrote: »

Thank you for your support:kisses3:

Anything to try to help.