New me New start, Pania's positive Progress!

pania

seem to need you guys far to often though.:o

pania

and if you will post chocolates on the computer screen then what else do you expect!! xxx

redsquirrel80

pania wrote: »

and if you will post chocolates on the computer screen then what else do you expect!! xxx

Fair point - have a strawberry champagne truffle.. and don't worry about how often you need to moan/ rant/ whatever - you give a lot to other people in advice, support and inspiration and you deserve whatever support you need too xx

pania

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOU TEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks sweetheart, and likewise for you to. I'll get over this, and be fine, put it to back of my mind until after New year and will try my hardest to switch off to my feelings, really reallly don't want to move back down south but really not sure I could handle living in Norwich so near to OH, will all come out in the wash and I have faith that the universe will lead me to the best destination that i require. I have to believe that whatever I require and the path I need to follow will be revealed to me and will be for the best no matter how painful or hard. If it is to remain with OH or to go my own way I don't yet know but I have confidence that I will be shown the way forward at some point very soon.
Sometimes faith and guidance is all we have to rely on, no point being down,. been there done that 3 years ago, I guess it doesn't help that I usually get very melancholy this time of year, Hey ho!!! I'll get over it!!! I have to, I have 15 k to pay off by this time next year!!! :-)

lunar

HI pania, just catching up on your thread, sorry you are having these troubles with your OH, especially at this time of year. hopefully he will get the shock he needs to give him a reality check. if not send him this way and ill give him a good kick. Sending you lots of hugs, remember, he is lucky to have you and if he doesnt realise that then in the future someone much more deserving will be lucky to be with you.

redsquirrel80

It can be a crappy time of year, can't it? I think you've got absolutely the right attitude to things.

Gotta head off now (last night's hangover catching up!) but hope you have a good night. Catch ya tomorrow xxx

pania

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

It can be a crappy time of year, can't it? I think you've got absolutely the right attitude to things.

Gotta head off now (last night's hangover catching up!) but hope you have a good night. Catch ya tomorrow xxx

Sweetdreams hon. thankyou, again, for being there and giving me a giggle.
xxxx

pania

lunar wrote: »

HI pania, just catching up on your thread, sorry you are having these troubles with your OH, especially at this time of year. hopefully he will get the shock he needs to give him a reality check. if not send him this way and ill give him a good kick. Sending you lots of hugs, remember, he is lucky to have you and if he doesnt realise that then in the future someone much more deserving will be lucky to be with you.

Thanks sweetie, If you happen to come across mr much more deserving, point him this way!!!:D

How are you? good i hope? xx

Snaggles

Yummmm.......chocolates!

How are you holding up P? Is there any wine left?

pania

half way down the last glass, seeking solace in alcohol, which is bad, trying to think of excuses to stay up, like pressie wrapping. worst thing is i have to spend 3 days with him without a moments respite as of tomorrow, am sure my family will tell there is something wrong anf they think the world of him, can't let go til he is gone to bed, is hard, very hard, but sometimes we have no choice but to see these things through. I have to be fine, I'm NOT going to go back to the situation of 3 years ago, I'm just so so disappointed that this is happening to me, and it isn't just this lie, I am realising that there are so many issues here I really dsin't think if we can, or even if i want to, get over it. I justy don't know if i could hand or heart completely and honestly say that I am in love with him right now, I have waited for so long for him to pop the question but I really don't know if he is the one i want to spend the rest of my life with. I think part of the issue is that due to my age (7 years older than him) I have been there done that when it comes to debt and am fighting so hard to get myself out of where I am right now, but he is still learning these lessons and sees my hard talk as killjoy or scroogey, but it's not, I honestly want him to never ever end up wher I am now, I know how it feels and sometimes it's pants.
My ex lied to me so much and had no shame at all in calling himself a pathalogical lier. I found him and his mistress in a, erm, compromising position after he had been seeing her for 6 monthsd behind my back, he lied to me so many times, often bare faced and knowing I would find him out. I didn't ever want to go back to that again which is why whern OH said this AM that he would continue to lie to me it put the nail in the coffin really.
I just cannot take that anymore, I just want another half that will love me, treat me as an equal, be there and be honest with me, is that really to much to ask?