New me New start, Pania's positive Progress!

Lemon_Tree

PS don't disapear on us, or we'll just end up ringing you and bugging you in that way

duchy

Sorry Pania-we did all land on you with "advice"
As I said to you on the phone-when and if you are ready to change things (in whatever way that turns out to be) we're here for you and do support you.
Sometimes we get carried away-but it's only cos we care <insert huge dodgy hug here>

pania

it's nice to know people care duchy, is nice to know people are there, thanks guys. and thanks for calling me earlier and for the natter. xxx

locutus2003

Hi Pania - I know I've not known you for long, but I also know you are a good person who deserves love, affection and respect.

Only you can know if you are happy as you are. Please don't ever worry about sounding off (particularly not on your diary!) - sometimes having 'virtual' friends is the best possible way of dealing with bad things as you know. If sounding off here stops you saying something you might regret to your OH then it might be best anyway.

Glad the eye is OK-ish and that you've got another appointment on Thursday. Have to say, I did wonder what you were doing with DP in harness - as I had assumed DP was Darling Partner. I gather though DP might be a horse ...?:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Anyway, take care of yourself and I'm so sorry things are tough for you at the moment.

xx

ZTD

pania wrote: »

Hi People,

thanks (again) for your messages... Haven't replied as don't really know what to say and am feeling quite guilty for sounding off this morning, i must remember not to!!

No no no no no no no! This is very much the place to sound off. Best to speak of your problems in a place where you will receive help and support than bottle them up inside until they poison your soul.

pania wrote: »

Going to take a step back from the boards until such times as i am feeling my perkier self again,

No no no! These boards are for people - not Stepford Wives.

pania wrote: »

I don't like coming on here being moany moany, its not me and i don't like doing it.

It *is* you. They are your legitimate concerns, and you cope better with them than many people. We're not concerned about you "keeping up appearances" - this forum is anonymous for a reason.

pania wrote: »

gimme day or so to straighten myself out and give myself a slap and i'll be around. need to sort out my money raising to as i'm being a bit of a plum with that... was asked today if i had a lidl near me and shame of shames i didn't. i'm a bad little DFW!!!

Not in the slightest. Everyone at their own pace. Hell, if people knew the truth I'd be burned at the stake for my DFW-ness...

We can't all be Hypno...

pania wrote: »

Anyway guys, I will see you all soon. lots of love and big hugs. xxx

:kisses3:

And you too.

redsquirrel80

Take a day or two if you need to P, but don't stay away too long - think how many pages of Blackadder quotes you'll have to read through if you do

xxx

In_Search_Of_Me

At the end of the day P it is your life & you have to make decisions that are right for you and your situation. nooncan be upbeat all the time and we wouldnt expect you to be but if you feel you need a break then have one. MSE can get a bit much at times and you can sometimes forget your "real" live friends but then friends on here can be easier as we're as step back but disadvantage is we dont know the full detail...these are big decisions...

ampersand

pania wrote: »

mmmmmm JAAAAAFFFFAAAAAAAA CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKEEEEES!!

You've done it now EAMD!! thats it, off to the shops i go....

thanks hon. x

hiya squirrel yes it is but sadly he has already gone blarney at the cost of the fees (£7.84) and he needs the money more than i do..... Oh righto!!!! is that why you had £400 to yourself this month and i have managed to make my paltry £180 last!!!!! grr grrrr grrrrrr!!!
Also worked out that if i worked my asse off for 3 months solid ie 5 evenings week appointments then i could get rid of a fair portion of my debt. Guess what. I'm not allowed. he'll leave me if i do as "he's not hanging around" I tell you what the idea is oh so tempting....

Right so will put gloomy P back in the cupboard and bring out happy P and P that has to do work to, if anyone is passing this way with a spare packet of jaffas chuck them through the lounge window on your way!!!

###############
My dear pania -
Had I had the SLIGHTEST inkling that this was the darker depth and shape of things when we met last week, I would have given you the talking to that you would be giving ANYONE else who reported such utterly self-flagellating, emotionally blackmailing, manipulative words against herself.
(Again I recall a petulant line from Doris Lessing in 'The Golden Notebook' - 'You are unmanning me.']

This cannot continue pania.

You do realise that you are trying to clear two debt-loads here, don't you?
- one in £s, the other in self-respect.
You know what is happening each time, but - as we DID say - it's the Woman Thing that makes us return for more, in optimism, triumph of hope over experience, leap of faith, against better judgment ........dear girl, the very fact that Life and Literature abound in such aphorisms should convince you this is a well-worn path.

If you want your new Thread to be true to ITself, so must YOU be to YOURself.

.........all written with accompanying hugs, of course.
#############
Have now read to end, but same concerns remain - with very real recognition of, and respect for, your feelings for OH and what has been and sometimes still is.
Is it enough? For either of you?
You could meet each other, debt-free, some time down the line and find the spark re-kindled, unencumbered..............it's a thought.
But then again, pania, you could be in New Zealand by then.

duchy

Oy !
Less of the big words before breakfast please Ampersand
I can't deal with aphorisms before my 2nd cup of coffee

ampersand

A delaightful selection of newly arrived cringes for Moddom to tray..........
For you, duchy - and that would a be a WW skimmed milk caf!? I'm amazed at how lovely and frothy it is.
########
pania, I've changed to my socks for gym/swim assessment.