Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my partner to pay a bigger share of the rent?

crmism

I can't think of one instance where the rent for multiple occupation is split between partners or spouses according to the amount of shared space they use and if, in the case of marriage, earnings by each spouse go into a joint account, then it hardly matters what they individually earn or who pays what share.

However, if your partner cares for you, she will willingly meet the lion's share of the rent, as there's little or nothing you can do about what you earn, so why not get her to agree that each of you pays in direct proportion to your earnings?

That way, she'll be happy about where she lives, and you'll be happy about how much you pay.:)

cptrelentless

Life isn't a fairy tale, never stick all your money together into a joint account. Unless you want one side to continuously scrutinise the other's purchases, financial decisions, spending on drinks etc etc etc. Get a separate account and put a fixed amount into it each to cover bills and expenses. That way nobody tells you how to spend your money. Higher earner should pay in more but the amount you each want to pay in and how much is going to come out needs to be decided between yourselves. This way prevents arguments, discord and casual thievery.

Sussex.girl54

Crikey! Surely if you are serious about each other & want to move in together you should know each others finances before you commit ?

smdabs

While I understand the logic behind splitting bills proportionately, I do not believe that is very fair on the higher earner. Why should they pay more of their hard earned money to make up the shortfall for their spouse?


Personally, I would not feel comfortable paying more (or less) than my partner for our space. In this day and age, relationships are far too unpredictable and I believe to keep yourself safe, always split straight down the middle.


In day to day life, I pay a significant amount more than my partner for food, activities etc because I do earn 3x his salary so if I want him there, I will happily pay. For something as important as housing on the other hand (mainly to do with mortgage rather than rent), I split half way down the middle on the basis if this does not work out, we both walk away with our fair share. Why should one person walk away with half of the money that has been put in to a house if they didn't pay for it?


This isn't to say that the proportionate bills approach doesn't work - it clearly does for some people however I certainly don't think this should be a natural assumption/expectation.


If your partner wants to pay that extra amount because its specifically a flat they want, there's no harm in asking... just don't let this become the norm of the relationship.

JayD

Jeeze! You are partners who are now at a point in your relationship where you are actually going to live together. Surely you can discuss things like this? (In fact, surely you can discuss anything!)


What would prevent you from having a normal adult conversation - especially as it would be with someone who you supposedly love and who supposedly loves you!

Ebenezer_Screwj

Just tell her it's beyond your budget and she might offer to pay the major share of the bills.