Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my partner to pay a bigger share of the rent?

sclare

Decide how much you can afford to pay for rent. Tell her what that is, double it, and ask her if there's anything in that range that she's prepared to live in. If there isn't, explain that she will need to pay the extra over that figure for what she wants.

Mel0

When my now husband wanted to move in with me, my answer was I couldn’t afford to.. I worked, but had 2 children so got some help, straight away he said we should just get a joint account, and everything goes in and comes out of that.. it’s always worked perfectly well for us...

markin

If you can't afford it alone you are both saying no to kids, unless shes got a years pay saved up.

John_Gray

It seems fairly clear
This will all end in tear
S.

happyinflorida

Discuss this with her first

If she's not willing to pay more, don't move in with her, she's not the one for you

SJCsussex

How about basing it on a percentage - so if you take your joint income as a whole - what % is hers and what % is yours then use that same % to determine what portion of the rent she pays and what you pay. Agree to review every time either persons income changes. Don't forget to add bills into the equations too. I have friends who have used this throughout their life together and it works perfectly - even when one took time out to have a baby and then returned to work part time

smilem

My partner and I were in the same position, I wanted more space so paid more for rent and then we split the bills 50/50
We sat down and had a big money talk initially to make sure we were both comfortable and have kept up this transparency and fairness going forward as we progressed into mortgage and our relationship is better for it.
Fairness is a perspective so have an open talk about it

Roy_The_Boy

Might be worth starting a polyamourous relationship then the bills can be split 3 ways sorted.:money:

Kaysafus

Being able to talk about money openly is crucial in a relationship, in my opinion. I earn more than my partner, and have for years, but I also spent more on my education, including paying for a postgraduate degree out of our joint bank account. Since we've been married and living together we've had a joint bank account and treat everything like one pot. We don't focus too much on who puts more in. He's studying to qualify at the moment and may earn more than me one day. I would love for him to earn more so our joint pot is bigger, but otherwise it's not a big deal for me.

gardian8

As a couple we pooled our money into a joint account when we moved in together, I earn a fair bit more than her but its not my money - its ours. Sine this is what my parents did, i thought this was the norm for couples who live together, but it seems that we are the odd ones out of our group of friends. Each to their own I suppose, but it would negate the need for conversations like the one in the OP. Can WE afford it is all we ask, not who is putting in what %