Neighbour trespassed and hacked our hedge down

Aylesbury_Duck

Jadeelizabeth95 wrote: »

Troll? So I stole a picture of some other persons poor hacked hedge? :rotfl:
Think what you want but that's my hacked up hedge. Wish it was someone else's. Wouldn't be my problem then! Adi!s anyway thanks for your help and great insights....:wave:

PS do people really troll money saving expert? :rotfl:

Your behaviour over the course of this short thread has been rather erratic, so it's not surprising people are starting to suspect all is not as it seems. For what it's worth I don't think you're a troll but I have started to wonder if the difficulty with your neighbour is quite as one-sided as you have portrayed it based on your reactions to people here in a virtual world. It would be interesting to hear your neighbours' take on the situation.

My advice remains the same. Have a long think about how you want this to play out. Not just the immediate hedge issue, but what could be a long term neighbourly relationship. You strike me as unpredictable and combustible which is not a good pair of attributes in a neighbourly situation. Your future happiness in your new home depends as much on how maturely and sensibly you handle this as it does on your neighbours' approach.

Jadeelizabeth95

Aylesbury_Duck wrote: »

Your behaviour over the course of this short thread has been rather erratic, so it's not surprising people are starting to suspect all is not as it seems. For what it's worth I don't think you're a troll but I have started to wonder if the difficulty with your neighbour is quite as one-sided as you have portrayed it based on your reactions to people here in a virtual world. It would be interesting to hear your neighbours' take on the situation.

My advice remains the same. Have a long think about how you want this to play out. Not just the immediate hedge issue, but what could be a long term neighbourly relationship. You strike me as unpredictable and combustible which is not a good pair of attributes in a neighbourly situation. Your future happiness in your new home depends as much on how maturely and sensibly you handle this as it does on your neighbours' approach.

I've already stated what I'm going to do tomorrow which is what I thought quite a good approach. I'm giving them a chance to maybe say it was a mistake or whatever they want to say but I'm also saying if it was malicious I'm not taking it. Why should I? Wouldn't really say that's erratic it's standing up for myself because I'm fed up with getting walked over but we're all entitled to our own opinion and just remember you only know me from this. Where I have obviously been angry. I've calmed down now mainly because it's dark outside so I can't see the mess of my garden now. But you have to remember I have had someone come into my garden, my private space today and that feels pretty crappy incase you don't know.

And from my neighbours point of view. I have only ever said hello and been ignored. We're quiet, both work full time and don't make a peep. They on the other hand are loud, obnoxious and always park over my drive with my car on it but I've taken it all so far. Either way there's no excuses to come into my garden without permission even if I do have crazy parties all day and night (I joke. I'm far too tired after work to do anything like that).

This is my first home, my first problem with my home. I'm sorry that I'm upset about it. I won't bother looking for advice next time because it seems I'm not allowed to be upset about the situation

Aylesbury_Duck

Jadeelizabeth95 wrote: »

This is my first home, my first problem with my home. I'm sorry that I'm upset about it. I won't bother looking for advice next time because it seems I'm not allowed to be upset about the situation

And there's part of the problem. Your last sentence makes you sound like a teenager. Read it again and tell me it doesn't sound childish.

I don't doubt you're upset and you're entitled to be, but your approach to people trying to give you advice on here is immature. If you carry that into real life it's not going to end well.

Fire_Fox

Jadeelizabeth95 wrote: »

Thank you, he's home now but was very angry then went to bed with a migraine (probably from the anger!)

I've decided I'm going to go round tomorrow. It will be on my own unfortunately:( as he'll be at work and I'm just gonna ask what happened. Discuss why they want rid of it. Explain that legally I cannot take it down until nesting season is over so however I feel about removing it there is nothing I can do right now. Explain that I'm going to buy some of that trellis with the fake leaves ect on to give us back our privacy and make it clear that they are not to touch that at all.

If it goes well I'll cancel the pscos coming round. If they are horrible to me then I will keep the appointment. I feel like if they don't listen to me and I cancel them coming round they will just rip my trellis off. Some might think it is a over reaction but they are retirement age adults and therefore should act like them and respect the law and our wishes on our property.

I hope everyone agrees with my tactic. I've never had to do anything like this so please wish me luck and confidence because I'm gonna need it!! The thought of it right now is making me feel sick. If anyone has anything else they think I should mention please let me know!

Sorry to read that this has affected the mental wellbeing of both of you now. I would take the advice of your local Police at this point, since they are now involved. If they believe that sending PCSOs over to mediate/ be your independent witnesses/ prevent any breaches of the peace I would go with that.

Good luck tomorrow. :A

Sea_Shell

To be fair, lets get this into perspective...you've had some hedge chopped.

When you've had burglars break down your fence, break into your house and steal from you....that's real intrusion, and that really is not a nice feeling. You don't get an apology from anyone, and you're lucky if the police attend at all. Unfortunately these things happen in life, as they say "S**t Happens"

Thinking and planning ahead...how will you respond to your neighbour if they DON'T apologise or accept what they did was wrong. You need a (calm) plan B, otherwise there is still the risk of this all "kicking off".

It's a shame you didn't get some calm reassurance from your partner last night, it seems you are both quite highly strung and have just wound the situation up together. Do you both have these "short fuses" you referred to earlier.

Davesnave

Jadeelizabeth95 wrote: »

This is my first home, my first problem with my home. I'm sorry that I'm upset about it. I won't bother looking for advice next time because it seems I'm not allowed to be upset about the situation

We get that you're upset, but most of us feel you are over-upset and probably shouldn't have phoned the police at all. The time to do that is when there is a threat of physical violence, or when serious criminal damage has occurred.

From the picture you supplied, the hole in the hedge is not definitely criminal damage designed to upset you. However, because you've not asked the neighbour what their problem was with it, none of us can know why they did what they did, or whether they're likely to do it again.

Enterprise_1701C

To me it looks like they were trying to gain permanent access to your garden! Once all this is sorted do as someone else has suggested and tie together the branches surrounding the hole, also trim a little off the top, doesn't need to be much, that will encourage it to thicken and spread a little. As you say, it is not even a hedge really, it is simply a bush that happens to be on your side of the garden, it was a nice one too by the looks of it.

All I can say is good luck with these neighbours. We had some problems with kids trying to wreck a shared wall a while back, the police were involved and it certainly discouraged them, we then painted on the wall "unstable, do not climb" and we have had next to no trouble since. The police are keen on solving neighbourhood disputes because it stops them becoming more serious.

Jadeelizabeth95

Enterprise_1701C wrote: »

To me it looks like they were trying to gain permanent access to your garden! Once all this is sorted do as someone else has suggested and tie together the branches surrounding the hole, also trim a little off the top, doesn't need to be much, that will encourage it to thicken and spread a little. As you say, it is not even a hedge really, it is simply a bush that happens to be on your side of the garden, it was a nice one too by the looks of it.

All I can say is good luck with these neighbours. We had some problems with kids trying to wreck a shared wall a while back, the police were involved and it certainly discouraged them, we then painted on the wall "unstable, do not climb" and we have had next to no trouble since. The police are keen on solving neighbourhood disputes because it stops them becoming more serious.

Thank you for your advice, that's exactly what I'm worried about. As someone said yes I've not been burgled ect but my garden leads directly into the house and therefore is opening it up. I think I'm going to experiment with a few things to close the gap and see what works best... Should be fun :rotfl:

Jadeelizabeth95

Davesnave wrote: »

We get that you're upset, but most of us feel you are over-upset and probably shouldn't have phoned the police at all. The time to do that is when there is a threat of physical violence, or when serious criminal damage has occurred.

From the picture you supplied, the hole in the hedge is not definitely criminal damage designed to upset you. However, because you've not asked the neighbour what their problem was with it, none of us can know why they did what they did, or whether they're likely to do it again.

Please read before commenting. I did not call the police. The county I live in has a Facebook page and on that Facebook page they have a messaging service for issues just like this! This is actually one of the examples they use. I messaged them asking where we stand and for some advice. I never expected them to come out. They replied back saying they would like to come out and booked us an appointment.

I did not call the police and they offered to come out that's all.

And to add I am going round today, yesterday I was angry and sick so didn't want to go round. Whatever their excuses are they are still not allowed to do what they have done, they saw me that morning out with the dogs they could have spoken to me then.

Jadeelizabeth95

Just wanted to say thank you to those who have given me good solid advice. That's what I came here for. I won't be coming back onto this site or thread. The unhelpful and moderately offensive comments have not been of help and quite frankly I don't know why you'd waste your time!

Anyway I'm off to buy some supplies to try and get my privacy back and make it safe for my blind dog to sniff around in again before I head round once they've woken up to have a chat to them.