Neighbour trespassed and hacked our hedge down

Sea_Shell

Seems to me if he'd have knocked on your front door (to apologise), you wouldn't have answered anyway. Not whilst you were home alone.

Getting police involved is way OTT IMO, and is unlikely to smooth relations between you.

Good luck.

davemorton

A little bit of shaping perhaps??



Or if you can wait until it grows back a little?

Jadeelizabeth95

I would've 100% answered my door, easy enough to slam the door in their face if it got nasty! Safer in my home with my dogs than on their doorstep. My dogs blind so nothing wouldn't happen but the bark alone is enough to deter threatening people. And at the end of the day if they are the ones who've messed up shouldn't they approach me to say sorry instead of me going round asking for one? ��

Oh my those dolphins! Maybe that was what he was aiming for?! Reminds me of the streets on Edward scissorhands ��

Fire_Fox

Jadeelizabeth95 wrote: »

I know it "shouldn't spoil my enjoyment" but it does and has. I've never tried to come across"hard". I have a temper on me and that's about it but alongside that I suffer with anxiety so I'm sure you can understand why confronting someone when angry anyway is not ideal.

Several of us here have anxiety, including me. Have an old skool (((hug))) because the MSE hug smilie/ emoticon looks like a dodgy threesome!

Fire_Fox wrote: »

You are 23 and have grown up around mobile phones and computers. Some of us here are much slower to read and/ or much slower to compose and format a response because of a disability, or limited experience with technology, or with age. Look at the 'time stamp' on each post.

Jadeelizabeth95 wrote: »

Hi, I am using the quote button every time but unfortunately it's not doing anything to my textbox to change anything.

But thank you for showing me how instead of telling me I should know because I'm young ��

You are so busy being defensive, impatient and stressed that you are misreading posts and misinterpreting posts right left and centre.

I actually pointed out that you can type and post faster than some of the MSE regulars, presumably because you have a lifetime's experience with technology (emboldened for clarity).

BTW I did not know until NormanCastle posted that it was possible to embed the quote button in the body of a message. Even if I had known I would not have known whether it would help you because we are using different versions of the forum.

Anyway as I already said

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Welcome to MSE. I can see why you are upset, I used to love gardening (now in a city centre flat!).

I hope the police are able to mediate successfully with your neighbour, and that you continue to enjoy your garden this Spring and Summer.

Jadeelizabeth95

Thank you, technology is a blessing and a curse.

Like I said I'm just angry and upset, we spent so so so long saving for this house, moved away from family so we could purchase our own house because the city we were living in was waaaay too expensive. So being at home sick, I was actually in my PJ's at the time as well, no one here to show and rant at because let's be honest it's horrible. Because of how hostile they are to us my immediate thought that it is malicious, maybe it's not and it's probably a negative way of thinking but with things they have said and done in the past it seems odd.


Maybe I'll pluck up the courage to go round tomorrow, I just didn't think it was the "adult" thing to do go round angry and upset. As well as it being damaging to my own health.

Anyway, thank you for your comments ect. Sorry if you have felt my anger has been turned on you, I came here for some support whilst I had no one around. I'm off to buy some trellis tomorrow, I am concerned they will rip it down because it's not going to look as neat on their side as it will mine but maybe they shouldn't have created the hole in the first place ����

Sea_Shell

When does your partner get in from work? It sounds like you need their support today.

Once you've unloaded your day onto them and you've had a chance to sleep on things, maybe the situation won't seem so "massive" in the morning.

melanzana

:pTo be fair I do think you might need to set boundaries (sorry).

As I said earlier, much more is achieved with honey than vinegar. So get your OH to accompany you, and try to approach the situation with pragmatism rather than anger.

You will know what you are dealing with when you approach with diplomacy and a smile.

It is not the end of the world, but the attitude of your neighbours in blanking you out and not caring can be very upsetting. You need to get the balance back. Just that, the balance.

Wish you the best of luck, but stick up the trellis behind the polo mint in the meantime anyway.

Jadeelizabeth95

Thank you, he's home now but was very angry then went to bed with a migraine (probably from the anger!)

I've decided I'm going to go round tomorrow. It will be on my own unfortunately:( as he'll be at work and I'm just gonna ask what happened. Discuss why they want rid of it. Explain that legally I cannot take it down until nesting season is over so however I feel about removing it there is nothing I can do right now. Explain that I'm going to buy some of that trellis with the fake leaves ect on to give us back our privacy and make it clear that they are not to touch that at all.

If it goes well I'll cancel the pscos coming round. If they are horrible to me then I will keep the appointment. I feel like if they don't listen to me and I cancel them coming round they will just rip my trellis off. Some might think it is a over reaction but they are retirement age adults and therefore should act like them and respect the law and our wishes on our property.

I hope everyone agrees with my tactic. I've never had to do anything like this so please wish me luck and confidence because I'm gonna need it!! The thought of it right now is making me feel sick. If anyone has anything else they think I should mention please let me know!

Jadeelizabeth95

melanzana wrote: »

:pTo be fair I do think you might need to set boundaries (sorry).

As I said earlier, much more is achieved with honey than vinegar. So get your OH to accompany you, and try to approach the situation with pragmatism rather than anger.

You will know what you are dealing with when you approach with diplomacy and a smile.

It is not the end of the world, but the attitude of your neighbours in blanking you out and not caring can be very upsetting. You need to get the balance back. Just that, the balance.

Wish you the best of luck, but stick up the trellis behind the polo mint in the meantime anyway.

I think I finally got the reply button working!! Had to use the desktop site 😅.
Thank you, we're used to them blanking us, we've stopped saying hello now because they would just look us up and down and walk away. I can't wait to see the back of the bloody polo mint :j

melanzana

Jadeelizabeth95 wrote: »

I think I finally got the reply button working!! Had to use the desktop site 😅.
Thank you, we're used to them blanking us, we've stopped saying hello now because they would just look us up and down and walk away. I can't wait to see the back of the bloody polo mint :j

Oh ALWAYS say hello with a smile. Doesn't cost anything and can pay dividends at at the end of the day.

Some people just thrive on confrontation and WINNING. When the result is really down to compromise.

Doesn't always work, but you have to try first before the war starts.

Smile and say hello anyway. They may not respond, but you will always know that you tried.

GET the trellis up on your side of the boundary ASAP anyway. It is your right.