Blocking house sale where suspect coercion and control of elderly parents

da_rule

petere123 wrote: »

On what basis do you know "NB almost certainly providing daily care"? You'd have to know them, him, and observe over a period of time.

Maybe because you haven’t actually said what your friend does for her parents vs what NB does?

petere123

elsien wrote: »

Da_rules post is the most comprehensive answer. Long, complicated, and guaranteed to fracture relationships beyond repair when it's just suspicion that you're going on.

Age doesn't really come into it - bottom line is how would you feel if someone tried to take court action to prevent you from making your own decisions without any firm evidence, even though you had capacity, because they didn't like the decisions you were making?

Can the GP/local authority not ask to see the parents on their own?

Don't know if GP has requested that, nor whether they'd agree. Will check if that can be suggested.
My own Dad wants me at GP appointments, to help understand what he's told, and to remind him later; so having family present seems quite normal i think.
Our concerns about this guy are genuine. Others (eg recently the builder) have voiced concern about coercion and control, although he didn't use those words.

da_rule

Also, what one persons sees as control may actually be the level of support someone needs to actually make and communicate decisions.

petere123

da_rule wrote: »

Maybe because you haven’t actually said what your friend does for her parents vs what NB does?

Not relevant to the question of whether an external, Independent authority exists is it?

Coercion and control is exceedingly complicated, difficult to prove. More difficult still to counter, or extract vulnerable people from its clutches. I don't believe NB does that. Police want evidence, GP wants bruises.

petere123

Thanks for your considered, and comprehensive reply. Much appreciated. Giving your points some thought.

elsien wrote: »

F needs far more evidence than you've posted on here for coercive control

Yep, evidence is the problem. Mine (and her) instincts are good. We have both worked in mental health albeit a long time ago. And she has 50 yrs experience of NB's self-serving, and duplicitous ways.

Thanks again

onwards&upwards

petere123 wrote: »

F might not inherit anything from parents, if NB is to be believed. Naturally, this is a concern, and if true, maybe another example of NB influence. F lives a long way away, and NB lives next door to parents. See's them every day, all day if he chooses.

I think this is the crucial info.

Also I totally think you’re the disgruntled sibling annoyed that their brother might get a bigger share of the inheritacne thanks to do all the practical help!

petere123

[QUOTE=Keep pedalling;75732042 having a house sitting empty for years is plan stupid, so selling it is the right thing to do.
[/QUOTE]

I didn't ask what you think about that, nor is it relevant to concerns of coercion and control.

The other bit of your response was helpful, so thanks very much for that. Much appreciated.

onwards&upwards

petere123 wrote: »

I didn't ask what you think about that, nor is it relevant to concerns of coercion and control.

The other bit of your response was helpful, so thanks very much for that. Much appreciated.

Well it’s a bit relevant.

You’ll have a hard job arguing that your parents are being malevolently coerced into making sensible decisions that are in their best interests!

petere123

keithdc wrote: »

Do parents have capacity to make their own decisions? People have the right to make decisions that you may view as unwise.

Yes, i think so in legal terms, but that takes no accout of susceptibility to coercion and control.


Society might eventually change;as it did from ignoring domestic violence, to now viewing physical AND psychological control as deserving of scrutiny and legal challenge

petere123

da_rule wrote: »

Also, what one persons sees as control may actually be the level of support someone needs to actually make and communicate decisions.

Thanks. Yep totally agree.
But we/our friends/colleagues etc all know our own parents best.
My question entirely relates to concerns (and 50 yrs knowledge) of NB's duplicitious, manipulative, self-serving ways.
The N is for Narcissist. Not a word I use lightly.