advice on lending to family

System

As above. My 47 year old sister in law who I've known for 30 years and who has only ever worked 6 weeks in her life is still poncing from her 77 year old mum who only has a bit of state pension and pension credit to live on. She doesn't dare ask us because I made it clear a very long time ago that that particular door was well and truly closed and if she wanted more money maybe she should get a job.

Dobbibill

DottyM01 wrote: »

Thank you everyone for your replies. You are right, if I give the money realistically I am not going to get it back. She sees me as a soft touch.

If you lend/give her the money you are also becoming part of the problem as she has no reason to take account of her finances while free money is awaiting.

Maybe offer some moral support and help on budgeting.


Welcome to the forum too.

shiwen55

jonesMUFCforever wrote: »

This is a bottomless pit which she will never get out of because she has family that throw money at her.
You will NEVER EVER get money back from people like this.

So up to you - if you can afford to give the money away then do it - if you only want to lend her the money - don't do it as you will never see it again.

I wish my parents were more considerate and not throwing money @ me. I learnt hard way how to get into saving and paying bills after having few CCJ and debtors chasing me for years. Obviously they were not rich, gave as much as they could, even a £20 note


I'm okay now, first after years, in my forties I have a secure income, average that I can pay the bills on time, I stopped smoking in July 2015, that saved me a lot and stopped me having loads of snacks and wash down with a cigarette.


I wish my parents could teach me how to save or look after the money from a very young age, once I asked why, and they said they didn't want us (children) to suffer. Well, I suffered a different way, but I would never blame my parents !!

jonesMUFCforever

shiwen55 wrote: »

I wish my parents were more considerate and not throwing money @ me. I learnt hard way how to get into saving and paying bills after having few CCJ and debtors chasing me for years. Obviously they were not rich, gave as much as they could, even a £20 note


I'm okay now, first after years, in my forties I have a secure income, average that I can pay the bills on time, I stopped smoking in July 2015, that saved me a lot and stopped me having loads of snacks and wash down with a cigarette.


I wish my parents could teach me how to save or look after the money from a very young age, once I asked why, and they said they didn't want us (children) to suffer. Well, I suffered a different way, but I would never blame my parents !!

Not sure if that was a criticism or praise of my post.

shiwen55

jonesMUFCforever wrote: »

Not sure if that was a criticism or praise of my post.

A praise/complement I'd say. I liked what you said and believe in doing, it's a vicious, a bottomless pit as you said.