Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16

PriceySOS

16 please, ta I really, really felt like having some wine last night, but managed to overcome it because of Parkrun this morning!! :jHave a great weekend, everybody:)

Barny1979

19/25 AFDs for Saturday

Slowdown

Hi
I've been on this thread before a year or two ago and I really need to come back. I'm drinking way too much and its worrying me alot. I seem to be fine if I don't drink at all but once I've started, I find it hard to stop. I've decided that if its worrying me enough that I cant sleep and I'm awake at this time of night then I have to take action. I'm pledging to be AF for one whole month. So I'd like to sign up for some support. So 8/8 is my aim to the end of the month.
Thank you

Slowdown

Whoops, I meant 9/9!

loveasale

GOOD MORNING ALL!
Firstly I’ve just spent an hour catching up on missed chats ,,,
I’d like say sorry for losses of loved ones and positive vibes to those people going through medical treatment!
Sorry but I may go on a bit with this ,,,,
I feel very low , I have that feeling that ‘something bad is going to happen ‘ a bit of background on me to explain why ,,,,,
I’ve always been a drinker , on and off for as long as I can recall,, I’m greeedy for wine , i drink it quick and regret it slowly!
I’ve been separated from a long term marriage for 8 years and was happy on my own with my kids ( young adults ) and not wanting to get in another relationship as was happy on my own , sometimes drinking , sometimes not ,,,,
Then two and half years ago I met my BF at a wedding , at first I wasn’t really that struck on him , he was kind , but again I wasn’t looking for a man in my life ,, I really didn’t need one !
After a few weeks we did strike up a relationship, we had more in common than we initially knew,,, won’t bore with you it all , but at the time we were both just starting the divorce process,, and rather stupidly thought we both be done in a couple of months. WRONG ,,,
We live far apart one and half hours drive , and both have jobs near our homes, that said we have ( or should I say had ) a lovely relationship, we see each other every weekend, and if something special on during the week (birthdays blah blah ) and Xmas ,,,
We have enjoyed some amazing holidays and days out ,, staying over night in safari parks, tea at ritz, dinner in the shard , that said we love nothing better than a long winters day walk with the dog !
My divorce has been done now ,,, four months ago , but BF divorce has become a very bitter , court, lawyer and very costly one as there is a business to divide up as well, he becomes very stressed and I worry about his health , especially as I don’t live near,,, it’s not like I can pop in for a cuppa on the way home !
So when we meet at weekends it’s normally boozy ,, i although greedy for drink can not handle it anymore, I’m a lady of that wonderful manapause age ,,,,,,, !
I can see he wishes I didn’t go so heavy on the wine ,,,,
We do have long term plans, but until he is through his divorce , my kids flee the nest and I slow down at work , I really an not in a position to take the next step ,,, and either move in or he move here ,,, and let’s face it the words frying pan and fire come to mind!
Most people say we have the perfect relationship,,, home life and work in week and lovely time together at weekends, we have just got back from the most amazing holiday in Sri Lanka, it was very last minute, but so needed, his stress levels of his divorce and being responsible for employing 50plus people on his own ,, his ex won’t help with the business since the day she left ,,, but still enjoys a very attractive wage from it ,,,,,,,,!
So your now all thinking apart from being greedy for wine ,, your life sounds amazing,,,,,,
Whilst on holiday I saw him send some holiday pictures to a lady he knows ,, then arranging a meet up in the week ,,,,,,,,,,,,,my world has fallen apart ,,,
I know he chats to this woman , he has an elderly friend who sort of has a bit of a companion relationship with a friend hers,,,, so I know I shouldn’t be all het up over it ,,,, but the fact he actually hasn’t said he’s meeting her has really hurt me !
And my drinking devil in my head is telling me it’s all over,,,,,,,, my nice sober angel in my head is saying don’t worry about she is just a mate ( funnily enough, not very popular where they live as she’s an alcoholic,, that’s why her marriage ended). She may even be on here ,,,,,,,,,,!
I really don’t know what to do ,, I think a nagging insecure GF when going through a divorce is not a nice look ,,, especially when drunk ,
He is not a womaniser,, far from it , he treats me well and always kind ,, he’s not flash or loaded , but is always generous with me , he paid for our holiday in full as I’ve just moved and hard up !
After seeing the text I then looked for other clues ,,, seeing if he wanted to sneak off to call her , or buy her a gift in duty free ,, but no,,,,
Am I just being a paranoid drinker?
I also think now is time to adress my drinking AGAIN and maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad ??
Sorry fro rant , but don’t know who else to turn to,,,,,,,,,,x
Aug total 12 Sep 5 TF

marahouti

Welcome Slowdown :hello:. This is a really good place to be whether your long term aim is to give up alcohol altogether or moderate. Good luck with your first 30 days, I would advise 'checking in' every day if you can.
loveasale I'm so sorry you are feeling so low, I think you are right that the 'wine witch' is making you feel worse. It does seem that you and your boyfriend have a great relationship and the best is yet to come. Reading your post it doesn't seem that this woman is a threat to your relationship. However close we are to our partner we cannot be everything to each other; we all have other people in our lives. Why don't you ask him about her in a non accusatory way ( definitely not when you have been drinking ). I wish you well. X

marahouti

17/20 please Shaggy. Thank you. X

loveasale

Shaggy ! I’d be up for the Xmas weight loss challenge,,, I have never been so big , I’m always a slim size ten ,,, but on holiday I felt me in a bikini was not the best look ,,,, menopause and alcohol I’m sure is the cause ,,,,
And today I’m 9 stone 10 ibs ( I’m not very tall )
Have decided not to drink today as got to unpack and get ready for week back to work !
See how I get on ,,,,,,,,,?

cathybird

Morning all, 18/21 for me today thanks.

Honey_Bear

Well done on resisting, Pricey! I hope you enjoyed Parkrun.
Welcome back, Slowdown. :wave: Finding the Stop Button is a tough one to crack - I never did, but other people have, so good luck with it.
Love a Sale, welcome back, too. The only way you're going to deal with the relationship situation is to either just accept that your partner has friends of both sexes, or tell him that you're struggling to accept that. I strongly suggest you don't try to do that when you've had a drink.

22/30 please, Shaggy. I'm up for the Christmas weight loss challenge, and I'd like to lose an stone too.