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splishsplash wrote: »
OP, if I were you, I would reply to the email today.
Comment how it's lovely to hear from your aunt, you don't meet up often enough, agree that your aunt's plans sound great and while you are not in a position to help out at this time, offer a list of reasonably priced accommodations and creches etc. Tell her to be sure to tell the niece and baby to drop in for dinner/ to visit from time to time - but to ring ahead of course. Regretfully let her know you are unavailable at weekends for the moment so a meet up won't be possible for a while. Don't say why, no need.
I wouldn't be forceful or nasty, I wouldn't explain myself, just repeat as needed 'I'm not in a position to help out right now, but here are some other suggestions and the very best of luck to her, let me know how she gets on'.
There are many families who consider it normal to help each other out like this. My family hosted my cousin for years so that he could attend school here, I have hosted cousins for summer months to let them live and work here, my kids would never pay for accommodation if they go to their cousins' cities (handy for trips abroad now!).
There is really no need for outrage or offence - it's just that your aunt probably doesn't realize you are not one of those types of family members. Your mum is probably caught in the middle, coming from the same background as your aunt but knowing you are unlikely to be accepting of it.
splishsplash wrote: »
I haven't read prior threads, my answer was just in relation to this thread.
I think there is more than one way to skin a cat. My way is to choke it with cream, your way is to bludgeon it with a hammer.
The end result is the same, either way.
getmore4less wrote: »
The aunts daughter....
The conversations need to make the aunt give up an go away.
Telling her she thing her daughter ia a tramp sleeps around and you don't want her in your house bringing random bloke round.
Add the modelling is just a cover for being a prostitute for good measure.
Elinore wrote: »
We are a mews house - so the front door is out into the street the whole row doesn't have a front garden at all
something like this (but less swish)https://everchangingmews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Stanhope-Mews-South-5-of-7.jpg
Marvel1 wrote: »
You need read everything to understand your way is not going to work and will be worse.
P.S. You never answered Pollycat's question: Did the cousins turn up unexpected?
chesky wrote: »
Elinore has been unusually silent...
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