How much financial support do you give your parents ?

iammumtoone

what nationality are you OP?


In know in some nationalities this is expected.

mgdavid

Agree all the above; can only add -
By all means help them to manage the mess they have only got themselves to blame for, but don't feel guilty about keeping your finances for yourself.

thorsoak

If they own their home outright, I would suggest looking into equity release.

Gavin83

BBH123 wrote: »

Thanks all for your thoughts.


I appreciate that most people are saying they should apply for benefits and yes they have paid taxes all their lives but I think it gives them the view that ' benefits' are for others and not a world they could navigate in, I think the forms would be beyond them tbh.


They have the mindset of live for today and tomorrow will look after itself and as younger people that probably can work ie if you're on your uppers find a job but not as pensioners.


I'm worried that helping / baling them out will lead to me resenting them in their twilight years and whilst helping won't put me on the breadline I won't have the level of income I thought I would to do the things I want to.


I think we need to sit down and see whats what.


Ahhh

So have they actually asked you for financial support?

It is of course your money and you are free to do with it as you wish but I think you'd be crazy to do this. Also yes, you'd almost certainly resent them for it. It would likely be different if they were doing what they could and you were giving them money to survive, or you were loaded but neither is the case here. It'll be different when you'll basically be paying for their decent lifestyle when you can't afford the same luxuries yourself.

suejb2

I financially support my parents, by that I mean getting THE best deal for all their bills. Getting all benefits they are entitled to. You’re right benefits applications set desperately long and diff to complete, I do this for them. Can you help in this way?

Robin9

suejb2 wrote: »

I financially support my parents, by that I mean getting THE best deal for all their bills. Getting all benefits they are entitled to. You’re right benefits applications set desperately long and diff to complete, I do this for them. Can you help in this way?

I agree wholeheartedly with this - looking after MIL's utilities and insurances. Not too difficult to find £500 a year.

Would they describe Pension Credits as a benefit ?

Looking more into the future - POA's ?

dawyldthing

BBH123 wrote: »

Thanks all for your thoughts.


I appreciate that most people are saying they should apply for benefits and yes they have paid taxes all their lives but I think it gives them the view that ' benefits' are for others and not a world they could navigate in, I think the forms would be beyond them tbh.


They have the mindset of live for today and tomorrow will look after itself and as younger people that probably can work ie if you're on your uppers find a job but not as pensioners.


I'm worried that helping / baling them out will lead to me resenting them in their twilight years and whilst helping won't put me on the breadline I won't have the level of income I thought I would to do the things I want to.


I think we need to sit down and see whats what.


Ahhh

The forms aren’t difficult to fill in. Many can be filled in online to be fair.

It’s ok sitting on their morals but then your having to put the leg work in to support them. If there on low income they could get pension, pension credit, possible help towards council tax, winter fuel payment, free prescriptions , glasses and other bits.

Use your money for your future. They’ve used their money as they seen fit, now you use yours how you see fit

TBagpuss

You can support them without giving them money.

If they are asking you for help, then start by offering to hlp thm work out what their options are.
For instnace, this could include helping them navigate sites such as https://www.entitledto.co.uk/benefits-calculator/Intro/Home?cid=7561150c-a3e3-4980-b916-949e2687ccae, to work out what help they may be entitled to, then assisting them to actually apply.

It might include offering to help them review their finacial position and set a budget, to identify where they could save and where they may be over paying for things.

It might include talking to them about looking into equity relase to free up money from their house (or, if you felt comfortable doing it, and were in a position to do so, you could offer to buy a % of the house from them, on the basis that they could remain living there during their lifetimes. You would need to ensure that both you and they got proper advice about the legal, tax and other implications. That option would mean you were effectively investing in their property instead of in other forms of savigns, and you would have to be confortable with that. (Aimilarly, you could lend them money and take a charghe over the house as security, but obviously these options only work if you have capital you could accesss, and if you were comfortable with that option)

Don't feel guilty - it's not reasonable for you to put your own finacial security in retuirement in jeopardy in order to resucue them from finacial insecurity in retirement (not to mention, it may well be that benefits will be much less of a safety net by the time you get there than they are now!)

pinkshoes

Support them by getting financial advice, but do not give them money. This never helps in the long run.

If they have spent all their money having fun and not saved for their retirement then they now need to face the reality of a poorer future.

1. Sell the house and rent or buy something cheaper.
2. Keep working until much older to pay for their lifestyle.

My dad's best mate and his wife lived the life of luxury. Huge manson house, expensive cars, lots of holidays each year, always eating out etc... When it came to retirement the wife discovered although they had a huge income from the business, they were very asset poor. No equity in the house (sale price would cover the mortgage) and cars were lease hire.
Unfortunately he passed away, and she is now living in one of their 2 bed terrace rental properties and no spare money for holidays! She has had to go back to work to afford to live!

scalextric

Why did they just announce this to you? Do two grownups really expect you to pay their way? Get them help to fill in their forms for whatever benefits they can claim. They brought this on themselves.