Help with asking a friend to move out....

Cakeguts

You have been a very good friend to her. So just tell her you want her to move out on the date that you want her to move and then if she falls out with you, you will know that she is not your friend. Friendship goes two ways and it involves not taking advantage of people.

01afraser4

I think a subtle way that may seem a little easier to approach the subject would be something along the lines of:

Arrange a night where you get a takeaway and some wine (whatever drink of choice you like). Have a good laugh together and chat away. Then say something like "Promise you'll still visit so we can have nights like this after you have a place of your own..." or something along those lines.

It's subtle and it shouldn't make her feel awkward but it will remind her of the upcoming deadline and you can then go on to expand the chat and discuss what plans she has for moving out etc.

G_M

Lots of alternative approaches above, but I stress two things

1) you need to be taking charge. Not asking her when or if she's planning toleave, but making clear you expect her to leave

2) you need a clear agreed date, not a wooly 'April' that can easily slip into May.....

3) once you've had the conversation, you need to reinforce/confirm it to avoid doubt (especially if it was all done over a takeaway and wine......)


4) yes, I know I can't count. That's why written confrmation of dates is important because other people can't count days/dates either!

oystercatcher

Start scanning Rightmove and similar and then just 'accidentally' come across a perfect property you can point out to her , her reaction will tell you how serious she is about going and gives you an opening to point out that you really want a bit more space and privacy .

Then if she doesn't seem to be getting ready to leave you can start all the written notice business outlined by previous posters.

getmore4less

Always the option of good cop bad cop.

What does your BF think of this lodger situation?
Is he also a friend of the lodger?

If you are happy to continue with a lodger put the rent up to market rate.

getmore4less

Dean000000 wrote: »

sledgehammer approach....like it lmao

I know people where this far from subtle hint would still go over their head.

sevenhills

ftb_deena wrote: »

So she got a job within a month and has been paying the £200 monthly rent and saving.

She has spent a lot of money learning to drive over the past few months and has mentioned that she wants to buy a car once passed. In my mind, she needs to spend money moving out first and THEN buying a car.

She increased her payment to £200, she has not forgotten that note.
Maybe your boyfriend does not mind her staying?

ftb_deena wrote: »

We agreed to let her stay from July 2018, pay £100 rent per month whilst jobless and £200 when she had found a job.

£300 per month is the minimum where I live.


Ask her about that word document, its easier to ask than be confrontational.

kerri_gt

Stop tiptoeing around and just ask her straight, has she started looking for something yet given you agreed she'd move out in April. She's your friend so you should be able to have a straight conversation. Don't try and engineer a situation / conversation, if she works out it's all a plan to ask about her moving, she may well be pretty peeved, if not hurt that you didn't just ask her straight.

Her driving may well be part of her planning to widen her options for moving and if you haven't actually asked her, for all you know she's already looking, it has plans to. She may well want her own space as much as you guys do so don't assume she is going to, or wants to overstay the agreement.

anselld

She might be worrying about how to break the news to you that she will be moving soon. Just tell her, it is not like anything has changed since the original agreement.

sevenhills

ftb_deena wrote: »

I really don’t want to upset her and I do feel awkward about these kind of things. Just looking for some help? Thanks in advance. Appreciate it.

There are free sites, but if she pays to register with spareroom.com there are lots of willing landlords for around £300-£400 per month all in.