Spouse contributing nothing to bills

74jax

breaking_free wrote: »

Woah! That's the big red flag right there. When did you become solely 'parents' and stop being 'husband and wife'?

Completely agree with this. This is a biggy.

Pixie5740

Do you snore, steal the covers, kick whilst you sleep? I had an ex that snored so loudly that I chose to go and sleep in my car in January just to get away from it. It was either that of suffocate him with a pillow.

Have you tried talking through your problems using a 3rd party such as relate. Even if you do end up going your separate ways it would be beneficial to talk through your issues rather than letting things fester and going through an acrimonious divorce.

If you do get divorced, then no matter how unfair it might seem, things like the house, pensions, savings, etc, will be divided between the two of you.

imaginary_binary

And if I move out the rent I would pay on a new place is double what I'm paying for my mortgage...

badmemory

So how many boxes does she tick?


She barely functions beyond getting the kids to school & collecting them.


In a good week she will shower twice.


She feels she is unattractive & no longer seems to care about that.


She launders everyone elses clothes regularly but wears the same thing herself for at least a couple of days.


I'll cut this short - so finally. She feels you want sex with her simply because she is available to you & not because she is the first person you think about like that.

dawyldthing

Just because you are married doesn’t mean she has to sleep with you or anything else.

This reminds me a lot of a conversation I had very similar with someone I did my alevels with. She’s being told a lot of this by her partner, he said he wants to split etc so now she is looking into courses to help get into work and try and keep the relationship.

But if you want her to contribute to the house you’d have to contribute to running the house. Yes you do the shopping but if she does the rest it’s little wonder she doesn’t want to pounce on you when you get home from work.

Regarding the bills she will have to pay them all from any money coming in, council tax would possibly be single person discount and might get a further discount if she’s not working but rest would need paying by someone

Guerillatoker

Whenever I feel ready to entertain the institution of marriage I come on MSE, read a few threads and it just withers away.

Good luck OP, unfortunately I have no useful advice.

ViolaLass

My OH regularly sleeps in another room but our marriage is fine. It, per se, does not have to be a problem. What matters is why it's happening.

trailingspouse

Sounds to me like she's gone off you. Why do you suppose that is OP?

dlmcr

Your wife has checked out of your relationship, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out from what you have posted on here. She is probably only staying around out of loyalty to the kids and / or fear of the unknown. If I was you and I wanted a good life for the kids I would get a divorce sorted asap. If I wanted to be acrimonious about it I would stop working and make sure I was unemployable in the future, hide my assets and get as good a lawyer as possible in order to minimise what I would owe as a result of the divorce. Either way you are not going to reconcile with your wife so you need to move on with your life.

badmemory

trailingspouse wrote: »

Sounds to me like she's gone off you. Why do you suppose that is OP?

Whilst you & I know the answer to this, I am afraid the OP may have some difficulty figuring it out!