Vorarephilia - anyone got experience?

pusscat

Ooops deleted my own message!

wigglebeena

I don't think there is a 'should' or 'shouldn't' as far as the OP's feelings go. How she actually feels is how she 'should' feel.

*Bright-Idea*

I googled too, checked out the wiki explanation, bit bizarre but then couldn't help look at the other Paraphilias :eek: . Some are quite self explanatory and I have heard of several but OMG , there seems to be a name for everything and a fetish about everything!

Each to their own but I feel quite a prude now, or am I just normal?

conradmum

I agree with some other posters that we're getting caught up with the weird fetish here.

The important point is that they only moved in together a month ago and already there's a lack of initmacy. Now that is something to be concerned about.

After you've been married ten years and have three children under five, a certain lack of intimacy would be commonplace, but not in a couple who finally have the space and privacy to do what they want when they want (oh, how fondly I remember those days!)

I would say, please don't take it personally. It sounds to me as though now he finally has you permanently around, your OH is taking you for granted a bit and indulging himself in his passion.

These early days are the best time to be agreeing some ground rules on acceptable behaviour. Tell him how you feel (he probably has no idea). Decide together what you can both do to make things better. Try not to get sidetracked into the fetish. It's really the time he spends on it that the problem, isn't it? And maybe his apparent lack of interest in you?

If you can't resolve this problem quickly, don't waste your time on someone who can't or won't make reasonable compromises to live with you. It really isn't worth it at the end of the day.

littlestar1981

BallandChain wrote: »

I've googled it as I've never heard about it. Here is the link for those not in the know:

http://furry.wikia.com/wiki/Vorarephilia

From the link:

The introduction of this article does not provide enough context for readers unfamiliar with the subject.
Please fix the article if you are familiar with it.

Maybe the OP's OH could help Wikipedia? :rotfl:

Sorry. On a more constructive note I think you need to have a proper conversation over it to express your concerns and see what changes he is willing to make or what help he is willing to ask for. If none, kick him to the kerb!

Skint_Catt

I think my lack of self-esteem is certainly an issue, but is improving with my weight loss and to be fair he hasn't done more than 1/2 hour on the PC (we're not connected to the internet yet) in the 6 weeks we've been living together. He's certainly not creepy or in any sense dangerous - he's the one I will marry - but I think some people here have hit the nail on the head when they've said about being second best!

Generally I'm comfortable with it, but it's just such an odd thing that I feel a bit alone! Thanks for all your replies, constructive or not! He's happy to show me what he creates and how to use Poser, and he'd be more than happy to discuss any part of it with me.

Catt xx

KittyKate

I'm a bit confused Catt, he's the one you know you will marry, but after such a short time living together, you say you're not ripping each other's clothes off, you're concerned about his fetish, you're suffering low self esteem.
Even if you only take his unusual preference as a small part of the sum, it all adds up to a rather unsatisfying relationship.

If you look at the fetish as something greater (he doesn't have to be on the computer all the time to think of it all the time) like an obsession, or a sexual requirement, then there may be cause for concern. Remember, you can be obsessed with something classed as sexually 'normal' - say, dressing in kinky underwear - so it's not really the type of fetish, but more the time dedicated to it, and how that reflects on you as a person and how he sees you (as an object of his fetish desires, a prop, or an enabler).

To be honest, he might be Mr Perfect in every other way, but if one aspect of him (one that he probably cannot help and is unlikely to change) bothers you, is it as good a match as you think? If it's harmless, is it fair to decide not to share, and where will he get his kicks if you refuse to take part?

I'm not for a second suggesting he would cheat on you or harm you in any way and I am not trying to offend you, but I think rather than focusing on one (albeit odd) 'hobby', you should look at your relationship as a whole and try to focus on working out how to make it better. If you can't get past the fetish aspect, maybe he isn't for you. But I don't agree with posters saying you should boot him out - it's perfectly legal, he hasn't harmed anyone, there are a lot odder and more disturbing fetishes.