Vorarephilia - anyone got experience?

two_sheds_2

Hmmmm.
I'm trying to be broadminded, really I am. I really am!
If it's just an "interest", like he has other interests, I wouldn't worry so much.
If it is a real fetish, ie he can't get off without this particular stimulus, then its much more of a problem (if you don't share the interest).

Jei70

I haven't got any experience with this particular fetish, though I've had acquaintances who were into something very similar. You seem pretty accepting, i.e. not disgusted or scared by it - you're just worried that your partner prefers his fetish to you. Is there any way you could join him? For example occasionally role play a scenario with your partner? Obviously in play, rather than reality! That might help build back the intimacy your relationship's currently lacking.

Your partner is obviously trusting you enough to share his pretty unusual fetish with you - he must love you! In my opinion, if you love him enough to want to stay together, you should either let him do his thing on the computer (as long as it's harmless, which it appears to be) without complaining, or actively join him. Otherwise, resentment and frustration will build on both sides!

Oh, and congratulations on the weight loss!

pavlovs_dog

i too had to google, and im somewhat bemused and amused by the replies on here

im at a bit of a loss for what to say, which doesnt happen to me often

in terms of practical advice, i would say that keeping the lines of communication open will be the most important thing. good, bad, indifferent, at least if you are honest with each other about how you feel then you both know where you stand.

with regards to the weightloss, it sounds like you are doing a great job. there's no miracle cure, so its going to be a case of slow and steady progress. its natural that the more weight you lose the better your self esteem will be, but that doesnt mean you should sell yourself short. im guessing that the weightloss didnt happen over night, and you must have been carry some of that stone and a half when the two of you got together. if he didnt have feelings for you then, irrespective of your size, then your relationship would never have got off the ground. so unless he also has a fetish for big women, i doubt he'd be too put of by your weightloss. regardless, do it for yourself, not for anybody else.

good luck, and remember there's always someone here if you want to chat. here's hoping you will always find non-judgemental support without the silly throw away comments when you need it :grouphug:

miserly_mum

[QUOTE=Skint_Catt;6768658__I'm_the_only_partner_he's_ever_told_about_this_and_I_want_to_understand,_but_considering_we_should_be_ripping_each_others_clothes_off_after_moving_in_together_and_having_privacy_for_the_first_time_just_isn't_happening._[/QUOTE]

A fetish, irrelevant of what it is about will cause problems in a relationship if both partners don't share it.

You will always feel second best to his fetish no matter how liberal you feel you are

No matter how hard he tries he will always see you as second best to the fetish (no matter how much he loves you)

You will try to accept it to keep the relationship going because you love him.

Ultimately he wants normality on the surface but also to have an accepting partner who"allows him "to indulge his needs

HariboJunkie

You're clearly very uncomfortable with it Skint_cat and it's something that you will have to resolve. Don't know how you go about getting him to stop though and maybe he shouldn't have to but I have to say I wouldn't be happy about it either if I were you.

You do sound like there are other issues of low self esteem from the things you have posted and this really can't be helping.

ceridwen

BallandChain wrote: »

This guy sounds creepy and I would be worried for my safety. It's not uncommon for roleplayers to take it to the next level. I would urge Skint Catt to get rid of this guy ASAP.

Well - thats what I was being too tactful to say - but I was thinking it.

115K

That really is a strange fetish, I suppose it is harmless as long as it is not acted upon?

I'm not sure I would be too sympathetic if my partner suddenly said he had a fetish like that.

I wonder if he has become more interested in this fetish since you lost weight?

D4WNO

Skint_Cat I have just one question, is it the fetish that worries you or would you feel the same if you were feeling second best to anything?

Have you known about his interests for the majority of the time you have been together? I'm just trying to figure out whether its a fetish issue or a general relationship issue if that makes sense?

LuciferTDark

I think I might have seen some of his pictures as I go to a lot of the Poser websites, have you actually sat down & talked with him about it or just found out & flipped instead?

Personally I see it as harmless fun & you should too, maybe you could try getting involved with his "art", add some input into it & steer him away to other subjects?

Alexandria

LuciferTDark wrote: »

I think I might have seen some of his pictures as I go to a lot of the Poser websites, have you actually sat down & talked with him about it or just found out & flipped instead?

Personally I see it as harmless fun & you should too, maybe you could try getting involved with his "art", add some input into it & steer him away to other subjects?

i don't think she has found out anf flipped, she has known fo a year. I think the problem is the growing distance between them (at a time when they should be becoming closer) due to the amount of time he is dedicating to this "art" of his.
Not related exactly but I had a problem with DH's online time a while ago. Basically a pc game (and watching !!!!!! later in the night too!) got in the way of everything. To the point where one saturday we (meaning me and our dd) where all ready to go out coats on and everything when he said he just needed another few mins on his game..4 hours later he finally finished. the problem wasn't what he was doing (even the !!!!!!) but that it took away from our relationship.
We evetually talked things through and I explained that I felt like the pc was the "other woman" and we put agreable limits on his time and spent more of it doing things together (massages, watching films etc). Could you try this?