*sigh* this may take a while

crunchy_time

ohdearhowdidthathappen said:

Not sure if I'm repeatinf myself, but t's cost the best part of £1k to get the 5 children set for school next month.  They all needed everything as they haven't worn uniform since March and have all grown.  2 of them are transitioning schools too, necessitating a complete overhaul.
Secondary schools seem to rely on parents much more for books, my daughters A-level books have cost nearly £100.  I checked ebay etc beforehand, but the specific ones she needed weren't available, so had to go for new.  They also have to wear 'business like attire'.  
I had £500 set aside, so was caught a bit short.  Will be putting less in savings this month to cover the rest.

Oh my word!  Thanks for the heads up!!  Mine are still in primary school and I have heard that trips are expensive but hadn't thought of uniform and books!  Hope you are able to use some stuff as hand me downs at some point!
Crunchy x

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Trips are mega expensive, although have had a few refunds this year!
Hand me downs don't really work for us as there are 4-5 years between siblings of same gender and I can't be arsed to store stuff for that long.
A lot of stuff can be bought from high street stores or supermarkets, but PE kits, jumpers and blazers have logos and can only be bought from one supplier,,, who charge £10 for delivery and you have to pay for returns.  Usually the school have a size of each to try on so you can order correct size, but they obviously couldn't this year, so was an expensive exercise.  You can also usually 'collect from school', but that was also suspended as they couldn't plan the distancing measures.  Aaarrrghhh!

ohdearhowdidthathappen

GCSE results.... is it the norm to give financial rewards?  My OH thinks we should give our DD a reward for doing well in her GCSEs next week, he's suggesting £250.  I was '!!!!!!?'.  What for?!  I was thinking more a celebratory takeaway and maybe £50 so she can buy herself a treat. 
Opening a can of worms, I asked around... some kids are getting £200 per A grade!!  I missed a trick as a teenager, I was a proper nerd and could have done very well on £200 per GCSE!  One friend has promised her child a top of the range phone (£1k+) if she passes everything.  I'm still erring on the side of a takeaway plus £50 personally

dawnybabes

I still remember being promised £1 per A In my school report (45 years ago !) and I brought home a report with 16 A’s in.  My mum could not afford that - I still remember feeling ripped off! It would have been better if she hadn’t attached a value to it tbh. 

savingholmes

I think I gave £50 and a celebratory meal. A levels are expensive. You've just reminded me DD will probably need another batch of books and I haven't thought that far ahead at all! Congrats on your exam success. Well deserved I'm sure.

Sarahwithlove

I agree with a meal and £50
You don't want to be starting a trend you can't afford in future. 

mark55man

Also unless you had the deal in place beforehand its a bit demotivational to put an amount per A grade as nothing she can do now.  I think a family meal (Mon - Weds obvs - doing a Rishi) plus I think £100  and you know make her centre of attention for the day.  Its a bit of a precedent but £50 just feels a bit cheap.  If you wanted brownie points maybe ake it £50 for the GCSE and £50 to help make up for her missed prom so she can do something with her friends.  But don't do it per grade, as if anything will generate feelings of unfairness that will.

I'm not sure that I would be setting targets for A levels either, although I am a bit soft in that respect.  If she's not motivated by the future £100 isn;t going to do the trick

sarahsays

We did £35 for A*, £30 per A, £20 for a B and £10 for a C for our eldest - gave her a bit of extra incentive and she ended up with a few hundred pounds but, as the 2nd was more motivated there was not such a big payout offered (there was a big enough age gap that it was forgotten what the first one got - unfair I know but financial circumstances can also change).  As you have 5 of them, I would do as mark55man suggests - a meal and £100, or else it could work out very costly!

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Thanks all, I wouldn't attach a value to a grade as they could all put in the effort and get very different grades! 
I don't mind the reward thing, it was just the sheer amount he was thinking of.  He's not budging though, so £250 it is.  I'll just have to start saving in advance!  He wants to do £250 for A-levels too.  So with 5 of them going through exams, that'll be £2500 over the next 13 years  
I guess the eldest is the guinea pig with all these 'firsts' and there'll be some negotiating between OH and I on what we do/don't do.  We've already decided what to do about driving lessons in advance and uni costs.  The exam reward thing just caught me unawares as wasn't expecting it to be a 'thing'.
She had a job interview at a different branch of my old retail employer the other day, it would be great if she got it.... a) she'd earn her own money b) excellent work experience and c) I'd get my discount back!!  She'll hear back in a couple of weeks

ohdearhowdidthathappen

We've decided to hold off the big mortgage OPs at the moment.  We're aware we have NO savings (apart from our sinking funds and emergency fund).  That's not great with our size family and mortgage.  We've decided to focus on saving £15k to cover 3 months expenses and £15k to finish off the house and then once those are sorted, we'll shift our attention to the mortgage.  In the meantime, we are going to OP the mortgage by £100pm just so we're doing something towards it I'll change my signature to reflect our new focus.