*sigh* this may take a while

ohdearhowdidthathappen

mark55man said:

Don't let her do resits by default unless she really really wants to - if so then you will be 1 year down the line and no further forward.  speaking from experience although she will grow in that year but either she will go to uni and resits wont make a lot of difference to where she can get or she won't go to uni in which case better off starting career/apprenticeships know

don't dismiss benefits.  why not - she is entitled (literally) to them - you have paid your tax and she will pay hers, so don't deprive family you of the income.  maybe suggest she is in charge of it - even if she gets a part time job she may still get something 

Thanks... I'll let the dust settle and if she seems aimless will research more

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Poor old DS, forgot to mention he did well in his GCSEs, straight As and A* in old money.  I don't rate the new 1-9 system.  He's got the place he wanted for his next step at college and is a happy bunny.
He found out today he got a job at the local posh supermarket starting with W, so he's looking forward to the £.
The college he's going to insist on suits and smart shoes, so that was nice and pricey.  He also needed a laptop that met certain techy requirements

savingholmes

I would get her to claim benefits rather than nothing in this transition period. Obviously she needs to apply for jobs too - but it is important for her NI stamp too later in life... if SP still around then.

mark55man

so our kids worked at W* and it broke OH heart when she had to give the family discount card back when the last one left  (I think DS will earn that after 3 or 6 months so may be just in time for W-MAS

just read my posts again - were a bit short - sorry don't mean to lecture you  

ohdearhowdidthathappen

mark55man said:

so our kids worked at W* and it broke OH heart when she had to give the family discount card back when the last one left  (I think DS will earn that after 3 or 6 months so may be just in time for W-MAS

just read my posts again - were a bit short - sorry don't mean to lecture you  

You weren't lecturing at all

Yes... 20% off at W and 25% off at the linked big stores after 3 months.  Lovely!  I think Mr A will still be cheaper for food, but the other store will be fab as we buy a lot there (too much!)

mark55man

The W* essentials range at 25% off are quite compelling + the 25% off the 25% off wine offers were also good value.  Plus at the non food store  the 25% the fruit based IT/gadgets is quite a coup!!  Multi buy but with YS on are quite good as they give you the multi buy savings and the YS discount.  

EssexHebridean

ohdearhowdidthathappen said:

So she heard today she's definitely lost the apprenticeship.  They were actually quite brutal (honest?)... they said from her GCSE results and interim tests they could see she had the necessary mental aptitude but not the motivation and work ethic required for the role.  They also said there was no need for her to apply for any other roles within their organisation that she sees advertised.  Ouch.

She was all uppity and 'they should let me resit' etc but she knows she's burned her bridges there.

Good for them!  She can ultimately be as uppity as she lies can't she - it won't get her back the opportunity she's thrown away, though. 

ohdearhowdidthathappen said:

mark55man said:

Another option - may cost you a little in support and set up costs, but how about asking if she wants to move out and head to the city. If  she is on UC (if not check eligibility and apply as soon as possible) then the rent element won't apply at home.  So she may be able to find a place (a bit grotty) to live in and then with UC help for the rent it will not end up costing your family or her that much  more (DYOR my as DD did this but she was 22 so UC rules may differ) .  Has she got any friends who she could do this with . Plenty of casual jobs in the city - let her find her own way - she will stifle a little at home (particularly if there is an air of disappointment), and those early years can have an impact of work expectations afterwards  

I don't think this would be feasible for our finances and she wouldn't be keen to move away.  Her friends are all off to uni or starting apprenticeships, so she'd be on her own too.
I don't want to encourage her to apply for benefits, I think as she's capable of working she should do that if she wants money.

We're not mentioning the apprenticeship to her, that's all done with.  As long as she doesn't just doss around, there's no disappointment

100% agree with the default of applying for benefits not being one I'd want to encourage a child down - particularly a child who's already proved that she has a contentment to sit back and let others put in the work to fund her lifestyle. Slippery Slope springs to mind!  Also, I wonder how long before she was sitting there in a flat with the rent paid, spending all her benefits money on socialising and then expecting you to bail her out - and realistically, if she couldn't afford food (or said she couldn't, you would bail her out of course you would. (understandably!) Also of course it would only be a matter of time where if her moving out had been suggested first by you, "You threw me out!" would rear it's head! 

On a different note - massive well done to DS - what brilliant results! 

Drawingaline

mark55man said:

The W* essentials range at 25% off are quite compelling + the 25% off the 25% off wine offers were also good value.  Plus at the non food store  the 25% the fruit based IT/gadgets is quite a coup!!  Multi buy but with YS on are quite good as they give you the multi buy savings and the YS discount.  

Unfortunately the discount on electronics at the non food shop is only 12%, and I believe there is actually no discount on the fruit gadgets. Is 25% on all non electrical items. (Hubby works for them) still worth it though, we got our air conditioning unit through them which meant we got a decent brand. 

mark55man

Aha - thank you DAL.  Either things have changed (was a while ago) or I just mis-remembered.  

As you say - useful where it applies - especially with 2 years warranty..

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Feeling really sad about the queen... end of an era.  Such a hard working lady. I like the monarchy as an idea, all the history and pomp.  Loved watching The Crown, must admit it made me swot up a bit about history as I didn't know half the events!  I feel sorry for them this week though, having to grieve with everyone watching 

Energy cap - bit undecided on that one and need to look up how it affects us.  We're currently fixed until end of 2023 (fixed from before the increases) and our consumption is high.  Our gas/electricity bill on our current rate is £250 a month and that gives us a bit of a surplus.  I'm not sure what it would have gone up to next year without govt cap when our fix ended and not sure what it will go up to now with the cap.  Clueless!