*sigh* this may take a while

ohdearhowdidthathappen

So she heard today she's definitely lost the apprenticeship.  They were actually quite brutal (honest?)... they said from her GCSE results and interim tests they could see she had the necessary mental aptitude but not the motivation and work ethic required for the role.  They also said there was no need for her to apply for any other roles within their organisation that she sees advertised.  Ouch.

She was all uppity and 'they should let me resit' etc but she knows she's burned her bridges there.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

DS has got his GCSE results tomorrow
He'll be fine... he's found his niche (IT) and he'll have got what he needs for the courses he wants to do.

ladyholly

ohdearhowdidthathappen said:

So she heard today she's definitely lost the apprenticeship.  They were actually quite brutal (honest?)... they said from her GCSE results and interim tests they could see she had the necessary mental aptitude but not the motivation and work ethic required for the role.  They also said there was no need for her to apply for any other roles within their organisation that she sees advertised.  Ouch.

She was all uppity and 'they should let me resit' etc but she knows she's burned her bridges there.

Hopefully that might make her sit up and take notice once she has calmed down. No one as uppity than a thwarted teenager.. Sometimes someone other than family can do what parents cant.

fern44

This is easy to say but dont worry too much for lots of reasons I wont go into mainly because at 16 I hated everyone !!!
I did not do any work towards to my Alevels and did not get the expected grades and lost my uni place. But got a place in art school and loved it so went in a different direction than what was mapped out for me by my mother and did very well for myself. 

Yankee24

Just my 2 cents.  And as I said before , I have had to do the hard parenting too…. But I’d say life changes and it isn’t fair.  you have 3 mo before you pay rent etc, even a nominal amount. A year is not great.  She will rinse it for all its worth.  I took 50 a week and then returned it to my DD when she moved out eventually.  And then we had a giggle.  It will eat you up seeing her live it up on her disposable income.  And it’s a poor example for the other kids.  If she can find a place on her own for 200 a week, then she is welcome to it.  Seriously, I know it is hard.  But our job is to prepare them.  Not please them. 

savingholmes

Best of luck living with her as she adjusts... 

mark55man

Another option - may cost you a little in support and set up costs, but how about asking if she wants to move out and head to the city. If  she is on UC (if not check eligibility and apply as soon as possible) then the rent element won't apply at home.  So she may be able to find a place (a bit grotty) to live in and then with UC help for the rent it will not end up costing your family or her that much  more (DYOR my as DD did this but she was 22 so UC rules may differ) .  Has she got any friends who she could do this with . Plenty of casual jobs in the city - let her find her own way - she will stifle a little at home (particularly if there is an air of disappointment), and those early years can have an impact of work expectations afterwards  

ohdearhowdidthathappen

ladyholly said:

ohdearhowdidthathappen said:

So she heard today she's definitely lost the apprenticeship.  They were actually quite brutal (honest?)... they said from her GCSE results and interim tests they could see she had the necessary mental aptitude but not the motivation and work ethic required for the role.  They also said there was no need for her to apply for any other roles within their organisation that she sees advertised.  Ouch.

She was all uppity and 'they should let me resit' etc but she knows she's burned her bridges there.

Hopefully that might make her sit up and take notice once she has calmed down. No one as uppity than a thwarted teenager.. Sometimes someone other than family can do what parents cant.

It does seem to have put the wind up her a bit.. she's all offended, but seems to be looking into options a bit more than she was before 

ohdearhowdidthathappen

fern44 said:

This is easy to say but dont worry too much for lots of reasons I wont go into mainly because at 16 I hated everyone !!!
I did not do any work towards to my Alevels and did not get the expected grades and lost my uni place. But got a place in art school and loved it so went in a different direction than what was mapped out for me by my mother and did very well for myself. 

Thanks for this... if she finds a different path that motivates her, I'd be very happy... her apathy makes me twitch.  Find a direction and off you go, we'll support where we can

fern44

LOL you remind me of my mum she used to shout at me and say you will end up with a rubbish job 
I did well academically but not in the subjects she wanted me to do 
I did not I just did not know what I wanted except to escape !
try not to worry too much but I would make her get a job x