Check history of teenager's MSN activity and conversations how?

Tao81

Is there a way that I can look back and check the history of my teenagers MSN activity and if so, how do I set this programe to save the info and access it later? BTW - I am a complete idiot re-MSN, as don't use it myself.

Not simply wanting to be nosey, very necessary due to a worry of others sending unsuitable pictures again, as happened a while ago whilst she was using MSN and would like to monitor conversations etc. from this person if I allow her to put them back on her list of contacts?! I'm that close to banning it completely!...... but know that this is not the best course of action and would therefore, like to find an alternative way to protect my daughter from unsuitable content being sent to her!

Thanks in advance

grae-uk

Hi Tao81,
If she has record conversations turned on then they can be found in her account under My Documents>My Received Files>"msn Username"

If it is not turned on then to turn it on you need to enable this, and she needs to be logged on for it to work. When she is logged onto MSN go to the tools menu (if it is not there then press ALT on the keyboard to reveal it) and then go to Options. From the window that appears choose "messages" on the left hand side and then 2 thirds of the way down there is a title "Message History" and you can enable the option to keep track of messages, and where to keep them.

I hope this helps. If not post back

Graham.

christineperseus

reigister with webwatcherdata.com

you can then see everything that's been done on that computer.

there are also programs you can run to read the drivel the write on MSN.

You can see what websites they visit etc.

We found this very usefull - the children send each other very unsuitable pictures!!!!!!!!!!!

sco0ter

Just remember that if you turn on the save conversation feature it will give a pop up telling you its been saved when you finish so very easy for them to turn it off and delete the record.

isofa

I'd say discussion and education is better than spying, after all they'll soon realise and just use a different medium, mobile phones, playground etc. Most teenagers, know more about computers than their parents, and simply logging conversations, is so easy to delete, and using web based traffic monitoring can be insecure. And after all a quick google on a forum will soon tell you how to get around that!

Tell them you will look at what they are doing on-line from time to time, tell them everything is logged (whether it is or it isn't, the deterent should be enough), explain the dangers, what can happen, and if she ventures into something she shouldn't, she'll be banned from using it for a while, etc.

Idiophreak

I'm with isofa on this..."spying" on what your teen's doing really isn't the right way to go about it. You have to inform them of the dangers, but then just trust them to get on with it. If you can't trust them, punish them, then give them another chance.

Or just monitor her use on the net - with your eyes.

I'm fairly sure most kids will appreciate you being up-front and honest about your concerns rather than sneak around trying to snoop on their private life.

jago25_98

Educate

This reminds me of being a kid selling !!!!!! mags to my peers Fond memories!
Sounds like there are new opportunities for the modern scoundrel.

A comparison. We work on boats. The entire environment is monitored. My conversation here is monitored. We spend up to 2 or 3 months aways with this the only mode of communication.
As a result guys just give up and everyone starts visiting msn messenger to talk to girlfriends (not allowed), !!!!!! sites, games and all the rest, even though we are very much risking our jobs!

My point is that if someone really wants to do something, they will.
In fact, I still am attracted to the forbidden! It is a mark of quality information to me!


The answer instead is to educate.
You have to explain why something they should be acting in the way you ask. If you can't do this then you don't deserve that power over them.

When I was a kid I was told stories of what would happen if I talked to strangers. Tell them some scare stories in a responsible way as it will effect them. You have to give them an accurate view of the world, to be appropriately fearful of the dangers.

The message of educate needs to be pragmatic over political.


edit:: Sorry if I sound political but I get ALOT of grief from internet privacy. With girlfriends, employers and other parties spying on me it is thier imperfections that are a liability to me.

Another thing you can do is just fain it. Just say that it is logged.

Psychofly

I agree. I have used computers all my life and my parents trusted me to be sensible and mature and regulate my own internet usage and I can honestly say I never abused that trust. Spying on MSN conversations and things like that in my opinion is a very grave breach of privacy and trust. To me it's akin to reading a diary. I think talking to children about it and possibly having the PC in a family room rather than in a bedroom is the way to go.

Spirit_2

Some years ago my then 14 year old daughter was 'talking' on a (monitored) pony chat forum.

A contact there suggested she visit another horsey site. This site was unmonitored. Once on this site the contact ( horsey boy) suggested they talk more on msn.

She said she was going to watch a local show he said was also going to compete (he was not local). She did tell us a friend was competing, but did not tell us who (we did not ask- it was normal for friends to be at local shows). This was the first show we had let her visit without an adult. She went along with a friend. They met the horsey boy there. It was a man dressed in jeans and not as a competitor johds/jacket. After a brief hello the girls walked away. Daughter told us later; it had shaken her.

Prior to this

• We had net nanny software
• The computer was in our family room and was within sight of us (she only had a laptop when she was 18)
• Had discussed internet safety and believed she was very sensible (she is naturally uber cautious)

After this scare it was tempting to go into internet control overkill, but we realised this was just one area of life/risk and we needed to decide on how we wanted to parent her as she matured. Teenagers want and need privacy, we cannot wrap them in cotton wool and should respect their developing separation from us as parents. If we do not they are inventive at finding new ways of doing things, or lying through their teeth!

My advice is to keep talking openly, but be respectful, don't pry/expect all the details. Agree a framework of how you can have confidence that they are using the internet safely, including sanctions e.g once agreed if your teenager wont work within this stop home access altogether for a period. If this makes homework difficult for a few weeks, they can use the school/public library.

I subsequently learned that once face to face contact has been made there is a 60% chance of harm being done.

Good Luck
Spirit

Psychofly

That's a very sensible approach you've taken and I admire your calmness and level-headedness. Well done. I wish more parents were like you - most seem to panic at the mention of internet access and this is fed by the typical media hype that surrounds any new technology.

Spirit_2

Psychofly

In my post I did admit to being tempted to go into internet control overkill. The desire to 'protect' our only child was very powerful and emotional. So I do understand why with the best intentions parents 'pry'.

It just was'nt right for us. It really is part of the evolution of her privacy I would not open her post, stopped cleaning her room at 15 so that I only go into her space at her invitation, at 17 went out when she had parties at home, now treat her bf of 2+ years as her partner and do not expect her to choose us (holidays/xmas) over him - we have both of them or none at all.

It is not easy being a parent.........letting go.

Spirit