Can't Sleep .....................

immoral_angeluk

:grouphug:
I'm an ex nursery nurse with 2 children of my own, one whose 2 3/4 and a 9 month old. My eldest was in nursery part time before I had our new baby.
did you have any settling in sessions before he started properly?
did you check out the nursery before you put him in or did you just put him in straight away?
do the staff make an effort to be nice and friendly?
have they taken the time to explain to you that his behaviour is very common in new starters?

when I worked in a nursery I saw that pretty much ALL children had a period of unsettled behaviour when they first started. If you imagine your child has been with you since he was born and you've always been there at playgroups etc so he knew he could always find you if he wanted you. But, he's now realised that at nursery you go away. He hasn't quite grasped however that you'll come back and you need to keep reenforcing this with him. don't put him back in nappies because it'll be taking a step backwards and it won't be any good for you or him.
When you drop him off Say goodbye, you love him and will be back later. Then leave. Don't hang around looking nervous or watching through windows as he will pick up on the fact that you aren't happy leaving him and it'll make him more upset.
It'll take time but he WILL settle and will love it I promise you.

Dumb_Blonde_3

Karmacat wrote: »

Hey there DB

Glad you're feeling a bit better, but ... guilt!!! No!!!! Stay away from the shops, take him for a play in the park but not the shops!

And I just caught Martin on LK Today - I *so* rarely do, so thanks for that. Hope you have a good day.

I know I usually miss Martin and I learnt several things from him about the 'best before and use by dates' - I really didn't know that - god i really am a dumb blonde :rotfl:

And that website he mentioned about typing in what food you have in your cupboards/freezer and it will give you a recipe - how handy would that be ?!?!?!

Dumb_Blonde_3

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

:grouphug:
I'm an ex nursery nurse with 2 children of my own, one whose 2 3/4 and a 9 month old. My eldest was in nursery part time before I had our new baby.
did you have any settling in sessions before he started properly?
did you check out the nursery before you put him in or did you just put him in straight away?
do the staff make an effort to be nice and friendly?
have they taken the time to explain to you that his behaviour is uite

Well I went there about 3 times with him - the first time just to have a look, the second time was to discuss what days they had available and the third time with my husband so see what he thought - all the time with my son and each time we got there he let go of my hand and went off to play - one time he sat at a table and started 'glueing' and they appeared really good with him then so we felt fine about it and everytime we left there we asked him if he liked it there playing with the children and it was always 'yeessssss' and it still is 'yessss' when we talk about it - I just can't understand why he's crying and so upset when he says that he likes it there. The first time (last Tuesday) they told me to take my time when to leave and after settling him at an activatiy (sp?) after about 15 minutes I told him that I would be going now and that I would be back in a little while - I went back to get him at 11am and he was totally fine - it was just last Friday and then yesterday.

Some of the staff seem friendlier than others.

I'm going to give it another shot on Friday but not leave him there so long and also to take my time in going and reminding him that I will be back - even though i say that now.

Dumb_Blonde_3

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

:grouphug:

when I worked in a nursery I saw that pretty much ALL children had a period of unsettled behaviour when they first started. If you imagine your child has been with you since he was born and you've always been there at playgroups etc so he knew he could always find you if he wanted you. But, he's now realised that at nursery you go away. He hasn't quite grasped however that you'll come back and you need to keep reenforcing this with him. don't put him back in nappies because it'll be taking a step backwards and it won't be any good for you or him.
When you drop him off Say goodbye, you love him and will be back later. Then leave. Don't hang around looking nervous or watching through windows as he will pick up on the fact that you aren't happy leaving him and it'll make him more upset.
It'll take time but he WILL settle and will love it I promise you.

About the nappies - I would hate it if he had an accident because he couldn't get over to someone that he wanted to go to the toilet - I always pack spare clothes for him. Its quite a big pre-school - 30 children and 6 staff. When I get there my eyes frantically scan the room and it take me ages to spot him because he is so little - if it take me and my honing magnet a while to find him what chance does he have of someone noticing that he needs to toilet ?!?!?!

So you think I shouldn't hang around and say goodbye - just be quick and brief and make sure he understands that I will be back????

SarahNeedle1872

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

:grouphug:
I'm an ex nursery nurse with 2 children of my own, one whose 2 3/4 and a 9 month old. My eldest was in nursery part time before I had our new baby.
did you have any settling in sessions before he started properly?
did you check out the nursery before you put him in or did you just put him in straight away?
do the staff make an effort to be nice and friendly?
have they taken the time to explain to you that his behaviour is very common in new starters?

when I worked in a nursery I saw that pretty much ALL children had a period of unsettled behaviour when they first started. If you imagine your child has been with you since he was born and you've always been there at playgroups etc so he knew he could always find you if he wanted you. But, he's now realised that at nursery you go away. He hasn't quite grasped however that you'll come back and you need to keep reenforcing this with him. don't put him back in nappies because it'll be taking a step backwards and it won't be any good for you or him.
When you drop him off Say goodbye, you love him and will be back later. Then leave. Don't hang around looking nervous or watching through windows as he will pick up on the fact that you aren't happy leaving him and it'll make him more upset.
It'll take time but he WILL settle and will love it I promise you.

I agree totally with this from IA. DS started nursery one day a week when he was 6 months old, and he loves it (he nows does two days). I had week of settlement days with him, where we went every day, and the sessions got longer (by the end of the week, he did a full 9 hour day on his own). The third day the session was 3 hours, so I left him there and went back home.
I guess its defferent for me because DS is that much younger that ur son.

Have u talked to the nursery about what triggers his upset? Is it another child maybe?

I hope everything works out ok for u and r son

Sarah x

HHH_2

A good nursery/playgroup would allow parents in at any time for as long as it takes ( sometimes weeks) especially when children first start. I should know I've been in the business for many years. Please follow your instincts, he is YOUR child and you know him better than anyone else. Either talk it over with staff and ask them to let you stay with him until the day HE feels confident to be left or take him out of there if they refuse that option, he is still very young. If he is enjoying your gym creche that may be enough for the time being. The staff should be working with parents in partnership, an Ofsted requirment

Dumb_Blonde_3

Karmacat wrote: »

Hey there DB

Glad you're feeling a bit better, but ... guilt!!! No!!!! Stay away from the shops, take him for a play in the park but not the shops!

And I just caught Martin on LK Today - I *so* rarely do, so thanks for that. Hope you have a good day.

Did you see the bit about Martin saying he wouldn't use 'value' loo roll - that so made me laugh as back in the day 5 years ago and 20k in debt when I had my lightbulb moment I did buy tesco's value - 4 rolls for 44p as opposed to 4 rolls of Andrex for 2 quid - my husband really was against this and used to moan about it so I decided to go one better and got an old newspaper cut it up into squares and put that in 'his loo' - which is the downstairs one and waited - it was hilarious - as he sat there yelling I told him he had 2 choices - the newspaper (which of course was a nice free one - like the London Metro - we didn't buy newspapers either) or the value loo roll .................

SarahNeedle1872

Dumb_Blonde wrote: »

Did you see the bit about Martin saying he wouldn't use 'value' loo roll - that so made me laugh as back in the day 5 years ago and 20k in debt when I had my lightbulb moment I did buy tesco's value - 4 rolls for 44p as opposed to 4 rolls of Andrex for 2 quid - my husband really was against this and used to moan about it so I decided to go one better and got an old newspaper cut it up into squares and put that in 'his loo' - which is the downstairs one and waited - it was hilarious - as he sat there yelling I told him he had 2 choices - the newspaper (which of course was a nice free one - like the London Metro - we didn't buy newspapers either) or the value loo roll .................

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

That is BRILLIANT!!! I am going to try that with my OH!

RoxieW

Hi dumbblonde

just wanted to say that i know what you're going through - boy the guilt! I had my 2 boys in full time nursery when they were 2 and 3 and I hated the fact but needs must. After 6 months (once I'd got my foot in at work) I dropped them down to part time and now the oldest has started school and the youngest is at the schools nursery part time.

I couldn't take my youngest to nursery because he would scream and cry and both of us would just get horribly upset. Luckily my OH would do it and little one would happily go off without a peep. You mention that your hubby was working from home - could he take half an hour out to take him? Then you might get a better idea whether its that your son hates the nursery or hates being away from mummy. If not, at least your hubby would get a better idea of what it feels like to be you leaving a crying child.

I do agree with others - most kids have a cry/dont want to go etc. My youngest especially we've had trouble with and for the first two weeks at the school nursery he cried and said he didn't want to go. But of course, at that age they have to go to get them ready for school so you don't have a choice.

Definately look into the nursery as others have said. Read the ofsted and if you dont like it then look around for somewhere else. But I do think its a good idea to keep him in a nursery for 2 days now that he's started. I personally believe that it does help to prepare them for school and help their social skills. Both mine (aged 5 and 3now) love school/nursery now, mix well, are very bright, ahead with reading, can speak basic french and spanish (something that I could certainly never teach them!) and have good social skills ie sharing etc. I think this is due in part to their time learning and playing with other children at nursery.

With regards to his speech, mention it to the health visitor if you're worried but I think you might find nursery will bring it on in leaps and bounds as he will learn to communicate with others who dont have that mummy instinct as to what he might want/need.

Also, with the nappies, I understand that you dont want him to have an accident at school but the nappies will confuse him and make it more difficult in the long run. If he has an accident then he'll simply be changed and the nursery workers should learn to read the signs when he needs to go in time.

I dont think you have anything to feel guilty about. Its clear that you love your son very much and spend lots of quality time with him. I'd definitely give it a bit longer to let him get over the settling in period.

good luck with what you decide - oh and stay away from the guilt shopping - been there done that I'm afraid!

immoral_angeluk

Dumb_Blonde wrote: »

About the nappies - I would hate it if he had an accident because he couldn't get over to someone that he wanted to go to the toilet - I always pack spare clothes for him. Its quite a big pre-school - 30 children and 6 staff. When I get there my eyes frantically scan the room and it take me ages to spot him because he is so little - if it take me and my honing magnet a while to find him what chance does he have of someone noticing that he needs to toilet ?!?!?!

So you think I shouldn't hang around and say goodbye - just be quick and brief and make sure he understands that I will be back????

it is their JOB to look after children who are potty training. Accidents are bound to happen with potty training whether he's at nursery or not. Just make sure you let his keyworker or the room leader know about his 'tells' that show he needs the toilet. The ratio for staff to children at 2 yrs old is 1 staff to 4 children and that is set by ofsted not the nursery so there will always be someone watching them. I promise you they don't just let the children run riot while they do their nails or something!