Can't Sleep .....................

dobs

Sorry for all this upset. What is the nursery like, you ahould be able to look up their lastofsted report on the internet i believe?My sons nursery had outstanding in every aspect. With my first son for a whole month he would cling and cry and they would prise him off me, they wouldnt let me stay as it would make it harder in the longrun, idid used to get there early and look through the windowsto see what he was likewhen iwasnt there. My second son was like it fora while aswellbut nowloves going. The nursery owner told us to persevere for a month with them both to give them time to adjust. It was so hard with my first, i'd leave crying as well! Big hug to you.

bathgatebuyer

A former work colleague of mine had a wee boy like this - he was with her parents two days a week, two with a nursey, and with her on her day off. The nursery was right next door to work, but pretty much every day he was at the nursery she would get a call at 9.30 saying, "He's still crying" and she would be off to come and collect him. It must be a common reaction of kids.

Where she made the mistake was constantly going over there and taking him home to his grandparents - he may only have been 2 but he was certainly the master of that household. She probably didn't realise it at the time, but she was getting perilously close to getting into some serious bother at work with her constant disappearing too, but we covered for her.

I know that at one point she had a chat with the nursery manager and let them know how concerned she was and that seemed to help, but ultimately if you're not happy with them, then look elsewhere.

Karmacat

Hi DB

Hope you're feeling better right now. I like what Snaggles has written, and FrugalJo too. The nursery... its important that you trust them, and it does sound like the individual workers are doing their best - he's on someone's knee when you get there. But they're not following their stated policy of contact, and thats got to undermine what the workers are doing on the floor.

I don't have kids...... I just really feel for you and your little one, and I *know* I'd be crying my eyes out in your situation. You took him there because his little mates were all starting to experience nursery.... maybe there's something about, he realises its happening regularly now, and thats a shock to his system. But its not a competition, and leaving and going back later (there or somewhere else) isn't the end of the world.

Lots and lots of hugs.

earwig

hi my son has just finished pre school and is in big school nersary my son didnt like pre school at first and i had to often go and get him the main reason he played up was because he was treid and when he got tierd he would cry for no reason but i knew he was safe and well cared for so i stuck with it after about a month he settled down and was fine you need to ask your self is he safe there at least he is on the teachers lap when you get there and not just being left on the floor crying

i understand you wanting to take him out of there my ds didnt like his first big school at all and to be honest i didnt like it as well i cant put my finger on what it was i didnt like but i just felt uneasy about leaving him there so after four weeks i pulled him out and put him in a different nersary where he has settled well and i feel ok about leaving him there you just have to forget your heart and listen to your head the answer is there on what to do good luck with it all

In_Search_Of_Me

aww hugs for you! I think there are possibly a number of factors going on here s here's a few things for you to mull over;
1) I'm assuming as a DFW that you have financial worries/issues?
2) From comment relationship problems and possbly soon to separate?
3) DS has spent much of his time, with the exceptional gap for creche with you?
4) You're very tired, feel sick to your stomach and cant sleep

If all of this is correct then I suspect that its all just got a bit much for your generally & this situation is just tipping you over the egde. I havent got children but as a qualified nursery nurse with donkeys years experience I would say that your son is behaving normally and from what you have typed the nursery are doing OK. I suspect they didnt phone you straight away as they didnt want to alarm you.
If you are worried about his speech then I would suggest that you see your GP & get a referral in for speech thereapy - you can always cancel it later if he catches up, if not then at least you're in the que!
Having said all that I am a believer in trusting your gut reaction but I would wait a while (ie when you've had some sleep and are able to think more clearly) before maing any decisions. A childminder may be better for him but there's also the money to consider in his. He could always have socialisation through other means but dont forget that research showed recently that children who go to nursery do better than others because they learn to be with others, negociate etc..As long as he knows that you will come and get him & are there for him I'm sure he will be fine!
ANyway, hope you wake up feeling a bit better & managed to get some sleep. Not sure if this helps at all really but hope its a bit of use! Keep us updated & big hugs for you!

Dumb_Blonde_3

I'd love to be able to look through the window and see whats happening but the blinds are always closed. Also when you get to the door its always locked and you have to say your name before they open it ..... then there is a delay - probably where they are saying 'its Spencers mum quick pick him up' ........... (am I paranoid or what ?!?!).

I think I'll give it one last try on Friday - this morning he got his artwork off the fridge and very proudly showed it to me.

Oh the confusion and the guilt.

On the plus side - if I do take him out of pre-school I can always drop him in the creche and go and do my food shopping - its a great creche (at the gym) and you can go off site if you want - you don't have to stay and do a class or anything. One of my reasons for putting him into pre-school was to give me a couple of mornings to do the 'boring things' like 3 hours of serious housework and to do the tesco's shop - he loathes food shopping.

On our other days - we meet up with friends (mine and his - the ante-natal girls) and go to groups and then on Wednesdays its our 'special' day where we go off and do something different - we don't really live too far from Southend on Sea and they have Adventure Island (used to be Peter Pans playground) and for seven pound you can buy a wristband and it gives you a choice of over 15 rides for the little ones and adults don't have to pay - we went there on Sunday too - it was such a lovely day - blue sky, warm - while we were up on one of the rides he saw someone with an ice-cream so he had one too. Then there is Colchester Zoo and Old McDonalds farm and kidspace so many places to go and things to do - he doesn't miss out and he loves the creche at the gym as afterwards we go swimming.

I'll keep you updated on what I decide to do and how things go and thanks so much everyone - you've been a real help - I felt so sick last night that when I was actually typing I could feel the bile in my throat but after oh about 3 hours sleep things seem so much better although it feels like someone is poking my eyes with a hot poker .............. best I go and have another coffee as i get ready and watch Martin on 'LK today' - see what message our leader has to give us today!

I need to tackle the guilt I feel as that can trigger a spending spree - not that my son would mind me going mad in Early Learning Centre - or even the toy aisle in tescos thats not safe when I am feeling guilty and thats not going to help with the credit card.!!!!!!

In_Search_Of_Me

nooooooo DB keep away from the shops! You know it aint worth it! Good idea to let things settle down & see how you feel when you've had sleep (cos you know 3hrs aint enough!!). Not sure about blinds always being down though...can understand door being locked for kids excaping but not the blinds!! That is slightly strange as normally nurseries open, light & airy...

Karmacat

Hey there DB

Glad you're feeling a bit better, but ... guilt!!! No!!!! Stay away from the shops, take him for a play in the park but not the shops!

And I just caught Martin on LK Today - I *so* rarely do, so thanks for that. Hope you have a good day.

dearbarbie

im not a mum so cant really advise but one thing: maybe they lock the door and ask you to say your name so people cant get in and abduct the children - as a safety mechanism? hope it all works out x

Dumb_Blonde_3

1) I'm assuming as a DFW that you have financial worries/issues?

Yes we do have debt - its my second time here - the first time was 5 years ago with 20k worth of debt - we managed to clear it with just 2 weeks until my son was born. I didn't visit this site much at all after that and we made savings but I'm now back here again with smaller debt - at its peak this year it was about 6K but its really coming down now.

2) From comment relationship problems and possbly soon to separate?

No I just made that comment about 'soon to be ex husband' - I just didn't get him yesterday - I was seething with him.

3) DS has spent much of his time, with the exceptional gap for creche with you?

Yep thats about the size of it - my husband works all the hours god sends to clear this debt - which won't be forever so he will hopefully help out more. He does take my son to the creche on a saturday morning while he goes round the gym and then they go swimming while I 'blitz' the house - stripping the best and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning !!!!!

4) You're very tired, feel sick to your stomach and cant sleep

Yes I am tired but I'm feeling a whole lot better today - what with everyone on this website - last night when i couldn't sleep - I couldn't just call a friend at gone midnight and anyway on this webite I could just really spill out everything I was feeling - you can say so much more when you type as you are typing out your feelings and people who reply are replying with more than they could say - its been an immense help!!!!! I'm feeling a lot more posititve.

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