Weekly Flylady Thread 5th November 2018

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

pigpen wrote: »

TY all.. Moomin is very down today.. yesterday evening school took it upon themselves to ring cf and reward his abusive behaviour by telling him how unhappy and hurt she is. So I have had a growl at them and said they are not to pass any information to him without her say so. The police officers we spoke to on Wednesday said she was competent enough to make that decision. Why would they tell the abuser such details about their victim other than to pat them on the bck and tell them 'job well done' ... I then had the CAMHS nurse ring and tell them it wasn't helpful and Moo would not trust them or disclose anything to them if she thought they would report back to him every 5 minutes... thankfully she understood I wasn't being the 'psycho-ex' I just want Moomin in control of that situation not him to have power over her to use her mental health against her. I was sensible and rational and explained in detail.. and also added she is the 7th child he has done this too and I have got the others through and we would work together to help Moomin... but I am raging!!!

Dishwasher is not insured so I am buying a second hand cheapy one and using that until it dies whilst saving up for a new one. It is the cheapest option long term.



Roland has not yet died
My pots are not washed
The washing is not done


I have spent most of this week on the phone to a variety of organisations trying to keep my daughter alive.. a million more calls and appointments next week and hopefully we will start to turn a corner.

Some people simply cannot conceive of a parent being so wicked as to enjoy making their child suffer and believe that all they have to do is say that their child is unhappy and that'll make the parent feel sad and change their ways. Same way some can't believe that a parent would physically harm their child, a determined, articulate and assertive person could have been abused by their ex or that (and apologies to those with Faith) that a priest/respected member of the congregation/Leader of the Cubs could do disgusting things or that there's anything that can't be fixed by a few prayers/somebody coming to believe in the salvation of their Immortal Soul. If they can't comprehend that there are bad people who are malicious, cruel, manipulative and vicious with no redeeming qualities, then they don't/can't accept that a situation is how it's been told to them.

I despise those people even more than the abusers, as their stupidity/unwillingness to acknowledge that the world is not a cosy, happy, lovely place means they enable abusers to continue unchallenged. It has nearly got me into trouble before now, as I've opened my mouth and told people giving 'training' in how to deal with angry people, what 'victims' want, etc, that what they are suggesting is going to make things worse.

kazwookie

Long drive done, weather wonderful that end, came back to chucking down rain.

Munched a sandwich
Off to do kitchen and hall way

pigpen

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Some people simply cannot conceive of a parent being so wicked as to enjoy making their child suffer and believe that all they have to do is say that their child is unhappy and that'll make the parent feel sad and change their ways. Same way some can't believe that a parent would physically harm their child, a determined, articulate and assertive person could have been abused by their ex or that (and apologies to those with Faith) that a priest/respected member of the congregation/Leader of the Cubs could do disgusting things or that there's anything that can't be fixed by a few prayers/somebody coming to believe in the salvation of their Immortal Soul. If they can't comprehend that there are bad people who are malicious, cruel, manipulative and vicious with no redeeming qualities, then they don't/can't accept that a situation is how it's been told to them.

I despise those people even more than the abusers, as their stupidity/unwillingness to acknowledge that the world is not a cosy, happy, lovely place means they enable abusers to continue unchallenged. It has nearly got me into trouble before now, as I've opened my mouth and told people giving 'training' in how to deal with angry people, what 'victims' want, etc, that what they are suggesting is going to make things worse.

exactly!! When we were doing the divorce I had CAFCASS ring me and they become utterly stuck on the fact I didn't leave.. they couldn't comprehend the fact I had nowhere to go with 8 children... how many would?? They refused to listen to how abusive he was to me and the children and how his behaviour continued to cause problems they just kept saying 'so why didn't you leave?'.... because I had no effing where to go you morons!!!! I was that mashed in the head I didn't even see how bad the situation was until we were rid of him.. But it is still ongoing.. they talk to him and he does the smarmy holier than thou, posh telephone voice and pretends like he is bothered or upset then turns around and spews more lies and abuse and SS and school lap it up like starving beasts... because the opinion and experience and feelings of all of us is clearly just made up!! I'm a 'this is me' kind of person.. no pretence, no fakeness, just total brutal honesty... it is utterly infuriating.

He is now using parental alienation to get Quaverface away from her siblings and me, and coercive manipulation to get her to lie for him and she is so completely brainwashed it is so sad to see.. but give him a couple of years and he will do all this to her.. if he doesn't kill her before then.



The best thing he could do for these children is die!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

pigpen wrote: »

exactly!! When we were doing the divorce I had CAFCASS ring me and they become utterly stuck on the fact I didn't leave.. they couldn't comprehend the fact I had nowhere to go with 8 children.

I had the predecessor of CAFCASS sit on my bed and tell me that if I apologised, my ex would take me back, marry me and I could have more babies so I wouldn't be sad that I 'wasn't around' from when Offspring #1 was 9 months old until a year and a half. Wasn't around? That !!!!!!! disappeared into the depths of another county with my daughter on the pretence of popping round the corner to see his Mum just after I'd finished feeding her and wouldn't let me see her again until the court ordered it an entire year later.

kazwookie

Morning

WM is on
Bed stripped and remade
Bleach down the toilets
Bins emptied

Got to:-
Hoover whole house
Sort Kitchen
Make food list
Plan Nov and Dec (money / travel/ presents/ bills/ etc etc)

Valli

Dining room and kitchen vacuumed. A bird. Dead. Feathers everywhere. Aargh.

Fayolle

Wm and dw on.
Clean washing sorted.
Feeling unsettled, but it's due to Armistice Day. I have my grandad's records and fight for medical support after WW1 and it gets me every time.

atypicalblonde

Morning all,

Thank you for the well wishes; the meeting went very well :T DH has to do some tough things this week, but he's just got to pull his socks up and get on with it. I feel much better about the whole thing, and we have a plan.

I've just done a very wet dog walk, and DH is out with the children for another ten minutes or so. Our bedding is in the wash, DDs has been washed and and is in the TD.

Easy dinner of fajitas tonight, we all need our Sunday baths too :rotfl:

Piggers you are in my thoughts xx

pigpen

Jojo.. their attitude is repugnant.. making victims feel 100 times worse than they already did! My dad didn't let my mother see me for several months after they split, I was 3.. it is extremely cruel. its just more control and abuse.. they should be prosecuted quicker.. or at all, that would be good. I've just been told off by a plod for not reporting him threatening me and harassing me.. I am just of the opinion his words do not hurt me any more because I know he is nuts.. so while he is saying rubbish about me he is leaving the children alone.. I did mention he had reported incidents to the police and told them it was definitely me.. lol.. thankfully, it never was, nor will it be!

kazwookie

Hoover is done, bagless thighy cleaned
Kitchen done
Bins done
Food shop done
Local service in high street attended