How to make someone realise being the wrong relationship is worse than being alone?

fabforty

The girlfriend wouldn't automatically lose her home, that's a red herring. If she doesn't work, she must be entitled to housing benefit herself - assuming she is the tenant (not her daughter), she would already be getting it plus benefits in her own right. Her daughter will be contributing to the household - as expected. There's no reason for her to lose her home.

Auntie-Dolly

Can you introduce your Dad to someone more suitable?

Kayalana99

You know there is a line, but I do actually think it is better to be with the wrong person than be alone. A lot of people are hard to live with, no one is perfect, and she has her issues but she must give him good times as well for him to still want to be in the relationship.

Now, it might be different if he was in his 20's and had his life ahead of him, but he's spent along time being alone by the sound of it and he is now choosing to be with her rather then be alone.

It's very easy for the younger generation to be all fairy tales, but unf life just doesn't work out for everyone. She may be a total *****, and her actions aren't right - stopping him from seeing his kids, but I guess if he is putting her before you, what can you do? Nothing it is his choice to make.

Now some people do prefer to be alone, and that's fine too....but honestly if life hadn't turned out the way I'd wanted it to, I would rather have someone to go out to dinner with and care about me (even in their own way) then sit alone and have nothing to live for (or worse, imparing on the lives of others because I don't have one of my own) but then I do have some back bone and I would never put a man before my kids....but again, everyone is different.

Red-Squirrel_2

Sounds like your dad is stringing the poor woman along.

If he never wants to get married or live with someone again he should tell her straight so she can find somebody who wants the same things she does.

None of it is any of your business at all, and your attitude towards this woman is very judgemental. I wonder how you'd have managed raising a disabled child alone?

Pollycat

-taff wrote: »

you've already posted about this before...
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5757173/dont-like-my-dads-partner


it doesn't matter what you think, or want. He's not on here posting about how to leave her, you are. If he wanted to, he would.

OP
You are just getting more replies similar to the ones you got on your previous thread.

System

Get your dad to read some good literature on hypergamy. The Rational Male by Tomassi etc. Women like security and she's marrying him so that she can have half of his assets. She's monkey-branching...one opportunity goes, so she latches onto another. If they get married, that house of his will be 50% hers...at least...she could force a sale in a divorce.

Kim_kim

Kayalana99 wrote: »

You know there is a line, but I do actually think it is better to be with the wrong person than be alone.

I would rather have someone to go out to dinner with and care about me (even in their own way) then sit alone and have nothing to live for (or worse, imparing on the lives of others because I don't have one of my own).

I so so so disagree with this - personally.

I’ve been single for about 5 years now, I’m 50.
I’ve two failed marriages behind me & a failed live together relationship. I’m a bit fed up of relationships because I’m fed up with it not being right/easy.
I’m not sure it’s worth putting my neck out there again only to have another failed relationship.
I have a grown up daughter and two lovely grandchildren, a challenging job. I have enough to occupy me. Of course I would love a great relationship, but I’m not convinced that’s out there!

PrettyKittyKat

I can understand her not wanting to live in his home as it won't feel like 'theirs' however how does she expect to buy a home together if she has no job and no assets to fund it?

You can't force your father to see that they should separate but you can make suggestions to help him deal with the situation.

Give him the idea to suggest a time living together in his current home, e.g. 2 years. If after the two years they are happy and she still wants to move then he agrees that he will do this. This requires compromise on both their sides, and also means he hasn't given up his beloved home to then find that he hates living with her and they split! She's claiming she will be homeless (surely she has options though? How true is this?) so she can't really call the shots!

Primrose

If I were you I would try and encourage your dad to develop a more independent social life. If he weren't so lonely he might not spend so much of his time with this woman who seems to be cultivsting Him mainly for his money and the security she thinks he will provide for her.

Try and persuade him to go in a cruise with yiu and let him meet some independent women. But at the end of the day he needs to grow some balls and stand up for himself if he doesn,t want to get married yet or to move into a different house.

hollydays

Kayalana99 wrote: »

You know there is a line, but I do actually think it is better to be with the wrong person than be alone. A lot of people are hard to live with, no one is perfect, and she has her issues but she must give him good times as well for him to still want to be in the relationship.

Now, it might be different if he was in his 20's and had his life ahead of him, but he's spent along time being alone by the sound of it and he is now choosing to be with her rather then be alone.

It's very easy for the younger generation to be all fairy tales, but unf life just doesn't work out for everyone. She may be a total *****, and her actions aren't right - stopping him from seeing his kids, but I guess if he is putting her before you, what can you do? Nothing it is his choice to make.

Now some people do prefer to be alone, and that's fine too....but honestly if life hadn't turned out the way I'd wanted it to, I would rather have someone to go out to dinner with and care about me (even in their own way) then sit alone and have nothing to live for (or worse, imparing on the lives of others because I don't have one of my own) but then I do have some back bone and I would never put a man before my kids....but again, everyone is different.

I have a very simple view. A relationship is supposed to make your life better, and if it doesn't, what's the point, it's better to be alone, with a great life and great friends.

Stay in a relationship just to have a dinner companion..having nothing to live for because you're single, I nearly fell off my chair when I read that.