Non contributing family

neneromanova

Give them a time limit. If you don't have a job/money coming in in 1 month, then they're out. Also get an estate agent round to look at the house on Monday and see how much rent you can get. This should hopefully give them a kick up the bum to show you're serious about this. if after 1 week they haven't even started looking for a job, then instruct the solicitors to start finding a tenant.

eamon

I sure that the OP loves her son and grandchild. Thus its unlikely that she will intentionally make them homeless.
However the truth and reality have to be told & reconciled. Running a home is expensive. These a few of the things that have to be paid before you even eat.
Council Tax
Mortagage/Rent
TV licence
Water Rates
Utility Bills.


Shock and awe therapy may be called for e.g. make/print out a big list of your outgoings (colour of your choice I would do Red). Stick a copy on every door.
Plan now you own escape for a less anxious & stressful future. Consider selling up and moving to a smaller/cheaper property that better suits your needs now & in 5,10, 15 years time. Your son, GF & grandchild will be fine once they know it time to get their act together. Yes the GF & child will qualify for social housing if there is any suitable properties in your area, but you have to make them homeless first. Tough call!

Archergirl

My local Sainsburys is advertising for staff at £9 something an hour, pretty good money I reckon........
Be strong and tell him to get his a*** in gear
Hope you are soon feeling more positive xx

paigesaunt

Unfortunately the job situation is a bit of a sticky subject, son has worked for his dad on ocassions which has caused arguements between us.
I can't handle seeing ex, and he knows it, so does his best to ensure I encounter him when he's picking up our son, if he can our son will meet him at the end of the road but ex does love to play mind games with me and will just rock up earlier just as I'm leaving for work.
I've had nails left in the driveway in the hope they end up in my tyres, the phone line has been ripped out of the wall, and various other things so I'm happiest if he stays away, our son working with him just encourages him to take a more active role in causing rifts between me and our son, the more he sees him, the more information he'll obtain about my future plans regarding the house etc.
Ex drip feeds my son money to buy things for the baby, or things he and his gf want, as long as I don't benefit in any way he'll hand it over to them.
Of course it's all being logged and will be coming off the inheritance, but this way he still has control whilst looking like a great dad and doting grandfather.
It's all quite bizarre, he left me for someone else, but whereas I feel no animosity towards him, his hatred for me far outweighs his love for our son and grandchild.
Thanks all, really appreciate you all taking the time to listen to me. As you can imagine I can't talk to anyone because the solution is obviously my son should be working.

chesky

Does your ex pay your son a proper wage when he works for him?

maman

I can see that it's difficult for you when your son works for his dad but that's a bit of a smokescreen. Why is your son fixated (other than the obvious as it's easy) on the inheritance rather than getting a job, any job?

Even if the inheritance comes through, it seems irresponsible to just spend it on day to day expenses.

motorguy

paigesaunt wrote: »

Thank you everyone, I was very down when writing the post, things have been tough these last few years but I didn't imagine the financial worry would go on this long, my son should have had his inheritance by now and he would have been able to pay me what he's promised in back rent so to speak.

I have made it clear I can't go on much longer, they either need to look for somewhere else to live or my son needs to start making big noises about getting the money his grandfather left him, unfortunately the executors, (and I use that term loosely) are treating the money as if it's theirs, not the estates.
It's all calmed down a bit now, but I can't afford to let things slip back, I will keep on.
Thank you so much for your comments, it helps massively to have somewhere to put your thoughts down.

"Much longer" gives them wiggle room to not bother for another while.

Clear evidence of (proverbially) getting out there and looking for jobs NOW is needed. They're using you and bleeding you dry.

Jobsearches and applications are easy these days. Any amount of job sites around and the local job centre will have a job site.

What benefits are they claiming? Tell them you need 2/3s of it to keep a roof over their heads. Waiting for the "right" job? No, they need to get ANY job NOW and get money coming in.

Red-Squirrel_2

paigesaunt wrote: »

Unfortunately the job situation is a bit of a sticky subject, son has worked for his dad on ocassions which has caused arguements between us.

That makes the ex/dad situation a sticky subject, it has no bearing on the job situation.

He needs to get one, his dad isn't going to give him regular hours or a fixed income, so he needs to look elsewhere.

Healthy adult, partner and baby to support, there is no excuse for him not job hunting all day long until he gets something. It doesn't have to be his dream job, he can worry about that when he's got a home of his own!

ViolaLass

He's worked for his dad 'on occasions'. Why would that stop him getting another, more steady job now?

paigesaunt

To be honest I have no idea what is in his head about his future, I don't think the gf is the greatest influence on him, she's from a family of disability benefits, and has issues of her own, ie won't go 'outside on her own for a cigarette' he has to go with her because she's scared! Selective of course, she doesn't very often go anywhere on her own, but certainly can.
I'm disappointed in him, and have told him I'm worried for him, the longer he's out of work the more unemployable he becomes, such a shame he was great a his job and on really good money too.
I feel awful talking about them, I love them very much but I just can't bear their lack of wanting to provide for themselves, it's too easy to call his father I guess, and plod along here pretending they're listening to my woes.
I thank you all for all your imput, I'm truly grateful to have somewhere annonomous to say what's in my mind.