Non contributing family

thorsoak

Oh dear, things don't get much better, do they?

Did your son finish his apprenticeship? I remember that when your husband walked out three years ago, he was in the middle of his apprenticeship and his (still in education) g/f was living with you and you were claiming CB for her - did she finish her education and has she ever worked - or did she become pregnant straight away.

Are they living in the annex?

It's time for you to start practising tough love - or things are only going to get worse for you.

SuperPikachu

Simple - Demand money or kick them out.

Then go rent somewhere affordable and pay off your debts.

elsien

What has your son being doing in the 6 years since leaving school?
As in, is this a fairly new behaviour which has started since the baby came along, or has he been not working/relying on you pretty much the whole time?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

paigesaunt wrote: »

I know the above is the only solution, you're right it's only my fear of not being liked stopping me, but from the conversation tone this evening the girlfriend doesn't like me anyway and she's going to the council tomorrow and they'll give her a house!

It might be better for you if you let her get on with it. The council won't house them unless they are genuinely homeless (you'll probably be expected to say you're throwing them out for their unacceptable behaviour/because you need to sell up and downsize) and they'll likely be sent to a grotty B&B halfway across the country whilst Housing decide whether they're genuinely homeless and entitled to support or are intentionally so and have to sort their own accommodation out.

Either way, it's a reality check for them and they're no longer leeching off you.

paigesaunt

Hi all, and thank you very much for your replies, all of which I agree with.
In answer to one of the comments about an earlier post, this is a different girlfriend, she moved in and quit her job whilst I was away last year.
My son did finish his apprenticeship, was taken on by the company and was doing really well, could quite possibly have been branch manager by now, he was heading that way. Sadly he quit on a whim and hasn't worked since

I know he hasn't received the inheritance, despite it being almost two years since the death, probate has not been applied for, largely due to the fact the executors have spent the ready money on themselves rather than pay the inheritance tax.
I would rent out the annex or move in there myself and rent out the main part of the house if they didn't live here.
I have told them both tonight, the worry is becoming too much now I am beginning to feel physical effects of the constant stress. I've probably got a maximum of 10 working years left which will make me nearly 70, so I really need to start putting my needs before others.

ViolaLass

What was their response?

paigesaunt

Thank you everyone, I was very down when writing the post, things have been tough these last few years but I didn't imagine the financial worry would go on this long, my son should have had his inheritance by now and he would have been able to pay me what he's promised in back rent so to speak.

I have made it clear I can't go on much longer, they either need to look for somewhere else to live or my son needs to start making big noises about getting the money his grandfather left him, unfortunately the executors, (and I use that term loosely) are treating the money as if it's theirs, not the estates.
It's all calmed down a bit now, but I can't afford to let things slip back, I will keep on.
Thank you so much for your comments, it helps massively to have somewhere to put your thoughts down.

elsien

Regardless of his inheritance he still needs to get his bum in gear and start creating a proper life for his family. The longer he sits around, the harder it will be to motivate himself in future. Glad you're feeling a bit better about things though.

LilElvis

paigesaunt wrote: »

Thank you everyone, I was very down when writing the post, things have been tough these last few years but I didn't imagine the financial worry would go on this long, my son should have had his inheritance by now and he would have been able to pay me what he's promised in back rent so to speak.

I have made it clear I can't go on much longer, they either need to look for somewhere else to live or my son needs to start making big noises about getting the money his grandfather left him, unfortunately the executors, (and I use that term loosely) are treating the money as if it's theirs, not the estates.
It's all calmed down a bit now, but I can't afford to let things slip back, I will keep on.
Thank you so much for your comments, it helps massively to have somewhere to put your thoughts down.

Or he could do the blindingly obvious and get a job! He could be paying you regular money in a couple of weeks. Christmas is around the corner - stores, bars and restaurants are all advertising for additional seasonal staff.

thorsoak

Forget about the inheritance - your son must start to take control over his own life - and you must take control over your - by insisting that these spongers get off their lazy backsides and start to live as adults - they have a baby - which is their responsibility - not yours.

Have you ever read Bleak House? About the inheritance which was argued in Chancery for generations - and when settled all the money had disappeared in legal fees!