My Father is coming to stay with me but the TA says no vistors permited for more than 3 weeks.

bflare

VintageHistorian wrote: »

I think this could get very messy for you very quickly. It sounds as if he's blown through his savings in record time (I'm sure the operation didn't help, but that can't have accounted for all of them) and is now hoping to return to the UK for help.

Unfortunately for him he may not be able to get any help. In which case, what does he do next? And what do you do next? Are you able to financially support him for more than three months? Obviously you can cover rent and bills on your own, but you've then got all the extra costs of a person who sounds like they'll be home all day. That's a lot of extra heating and electricity, not to mention food.

It sounds like you can't be evicted immediately by your new landlord, but that doesn't mean they'll want to renew your tenancy in a year's time. You'll then need to find a new place with your Dad in tow. That could create all kinds of difficulties, especially if your Dad insists on going on viewings and then refuses to move because he doesn't like anything that's within your budget. Let alone trying to get an agent to accept the pair of you when only one of you is working.

I know it must be stressful so I'm sorry if this all sounds like I'm piling bad news on top of you. But I have to wonder how much of this is your idea, and how much of it is his? You haven't even discussed his finances with him, you have no idea if he'll be returning with £100 in his pocket, or £100k. The former means he'll be dependent on you for a long time, the latter means he can at least look at rent somewhere on his own once he's settled back in. He may find he's on the council waiting list for years. He's a single man with a family member who can house him, he won't be a priority. Housing that's adapted for medical conditions, and housing for the elderly, is especially scarce on council books. They'll be prioritising people who have lived in your area for years, not someone who's come back after being abroad for a number of years.

I think you need to have a, potentially very difficult, conversation with your Dad, and ask him for some facts and figures. What kind of income will he still be getting? Is he aware that he may have to wait a long time for benefits, and if so what will he live on in the meantime? Is he aware that he won't get a council house instantly, and what will he do in six months when he's nowhere near getting housing? Does he plan to live with you for however long it takes? Are you prepared to live with him, potentially for years?

Edited: Just went and read your thread in the benefits forum. I can see how he'll be very anxious, but that doesn't mean you two can avoid a serious talk about all financial aspects. Only then can you make a decision about the best way to move forward. It's a shame that he's suffered such a rapid drop in health. However moving country needs a lot of research and dedication, and for things to be done properly. It sounds a bit like he left for Italy with only a vague plan for what he was going to do once out there, and now he wants to leave Italy with only a vague plan of what to do when he arrives back in the UK.

Thank you for your advice. The most i know is that he is coming back with around 3k and no pension or other income. I have factored in my monthly budget him staying with me for 3 months and I can afford it as long as he uses some of the 3k for his food. Council tax, fuel bills are not a problem. If we had to move he wouldn't have a say in where I moved too. He is already upset that he's putting himself on me and he's not one to complain or take advantage. He has basically no other option to come back and unfortunately I'm the only one he can turn to. I've just contacted his sister to see if she can assist or advice me because this is all getting too much for me now I'm starting to panic and it's making me feel anxious and stressed out to be honest. I'm just wanting to do the right thing.

We have discussed things and he is aware that he may have to wait a while. I have contacted about 10 different organisations and my local mp and they all say the same thing that until he is back in the country they cannot advise further.

bflare

I am considering another option if someone could please comment? Considering the circumstances & my dad basically could be relying on me for a good few months. I have handed in my current notice & the agent advised that my landlord is going to take over the management of the property. So I could contact the agent of the new property & be up front & say there is a possibility that my dad may be staying with me long term is this acceptable? Tell the agent that I do not want him on the tenancy I would just like permission. for him to stay possibly for long term. See what they come back with. If they want him on the tenancy then I assume he will not pass reference & credit check so this is a no no & also if the landlord will not permit him to stay then this is also a no no. If it looks like I will not be able to let him stay long term then contact my current landlord directly & tell her my situation & would see allow my father to stay & re start the tenancy with her instead of the agent. This option would save me money on rent, deposit, fuel payment but I would still be in a one bed apartment which isn't ideal for me my son & my father but i could put a bed in the living room. My current landlord would also be having a tenant that she knows is a good one. I am just scared that if I move i will get thrown out & end up homeless when I have a young son to care for occasionally.



What are people thoughts on this? I really need some guidance on this I feel really stressed out & I have no one to talk to about it.

Lioness_Twinkletoes

bflare wrote: »

<snip>I dont need someone assuming that I am just bringing him home & expecting benefits

With all due respect that is exactly what you are doing.

bflare wrote: »

He is unable to work so he would be looking at ESA which isn't means tested & to be honest Universal credit will replace this by the time he has arrived back. The first thing that I am planning on doing is getting him to see a doctor than a specialist for his mobility issues. It appears that he will have to attend work capability assessment after filing in a claim

Not only that but you'd like him to be given a Council home as well.

bflare

Lioness_Twinkletoes wrote: »

With all due respect that is exactly what you are doing.

Lioness_Twinkletoes wrote: »

Not only that but you'd like him to be given a Council home as well.

Excuse me it is not what I am doing. Have you not read the full thread? This whole situation is making me poorly. I am a single father with an 11 year old son & limited income. I do not want this situation & to be honest this could break me financially & potentially make me homeless. All I want is for some help which my father & I should be entitled to.This is slowly taking its toll on me & all you want to do is score points to stroke your own Ego instead of showing some empathy. My father situation & choices are not of my doing but at the end of the day he is my Father & I cannot see him homeless. He has a rare medical condition which his mum dies of when she was 40 he never thought he would make it past her age & made choices around this but his health has deteriorated rapidly over the last 10 year.


God forbid you never end up in some situation you never asked to be in because take it from me it is horrendous.

NeilCr

bflare wrote: »

I am considering another option if someone could please comment? Considering the circumstances & my dad basically could be relying on me for a good few months. I have handed in my current notice & the agent advised that my landlord is going to take over the management of the property. So I could contact the agent of the new property & be up front & say there is a possibility that my dad may be staying with me long term is this acceptable? Tell the agent that I do not want him on the tenancy I would just like permission. for him to stay possibly for long term. See what they come back with. If they want him on the tenancy then I assume he will not pass reference & credit check so this is a no no & also if the landlord will not permit him to stay then this is also a no no. If it looks like I will not be able to let him stay long term then contact my current landlord directly & tell her my situation & would see allow my father to stay & re start the tenancy with her instead of the agent. This option would save me money on rent, deposit, fuel payment but I would still be in a one bed apartment which isn't ideal for me my son & my father but i could put a bed in the living room. My current landlord would also be having a tenant that she knows is a good one. I am just scared that if I move i will get thrown out & end up homeless when I have a young son to care for occasionally.



What are people thoughts on this? I really need some guidance on this I feel really stressed out & I have no one to talk to about it.

If it was me - and I am a bit of a scaredy cat(!) I would stay where I was at the moment. It's not ideal in any way but, at least, you'd feel more secure. You can then work out what your father's position is and find out what benefits (if any) he is entitled to. PIP, as mentioned in your other thread may be a goer. Once you have clarity you can decide on the best course of action.

It is, probably, worth pointing out that, if your dad does get UC, the housing element may not fully cover the rent of the sort of place he may wish to live in. And, as said, he is possibly going to be at the end of quite a long list for local authority housing.

In the nicest possible way, your dad does sound a bit prolifigate, so you may need to keep an eye on his spending!

quantumlobster

bflare wrote: »

Excuse me it is not what I am doing. Have you not read the full thread? This whole situation is making me poorly. I am a single father with an 11 year old son & limited income. I do not want this situation & to be honest this could break me financially & potentially make me homeless. All I want is for some help which my father & I should be entitled to.This is slowly taking its toll on me & all you want to do is score points to stroke your own Ego instead of showing some empathy. My father situation & choices are not of my doing but at the end of the day he is my Father & I cannot see him homeless. He has a rare medical condition which his mum dies of when she was 40 he never thought he would make it past her age & made choices around this but his health has deteriorated rapidly over the last 10 year.


God forbid you never end up in some situation you never asked to be in because take it from me it is horrendous.

Setting aside the emotional elements of your post, it is a fact that you are seeking to relocate your father to the UK with a view to securing benefits and accommodation, after he has apparently expended his pension reserves.

I have a different view, which is likely unpalatable: you need to look after yourself and your family first. Your father is an adult who has made decisions and taken actions that have consequences, and you and your dependants should not bear the brunt of those consequences.

By all means advise and support your father, but I suspect that any arrangement where he moves in with you will rapidly transition from temporary to permanent. Is that something you're willing or able to deal with?

[Deleted User]

I don't really see that you will have problems with your TA, so I wouldn't worry about that. I assume its a year's TA? Even if you should have problems renewing (which I wouldn't expect, although it could happen), by then you should both know where you are and are able to plan accordingly. But are you renting a two or three bedroom flat? I realise you want to help your father, but even having him stay for three months could cause more disruption than you realise right now. For now, I wouldn't cause problems by announcing them from the parapet before you move in!

However, I am sorry to ask this but have you been able to find out if your father is still able to qualify for free NHS treatment?

I am not totally sure PIP can be claimed if the claim is made once a person is over 65. Think I read in my musings about my own situation that you can't.

I am just saying this so you are fully prepared. I hope things go well for you and your father.

NeilCr

deannatrois.

OP said in another post that the father is 60 so should be okay for a PIP claim if he qualifies.

You are quite right that you cannot first make a claim for PIP if you are over 65. It would then be Attendance Allowance. However, if you are on PIP when you become 65 it continues in payment (subject to any further medical)

bflare

quantumlobster wrote: »

Setting aside the emotional elements of your post, it is a fact that you are seeking to relocate your father to the UK with a view to securing benefits and accommodation, after he has apparently expended his pension reserves.

Setting aside the emotional element? I cannot stop thinking about the emotional element this is breaking me to be honest. Can you please stop talking as if this is something I want. I am not seeking anything. Not once have I said "hey dad why don't you go live in Italy then come back & lets try to fleece the country for benefits" This is not my doing but at the end of the day he is my father & I have to help him where ever possible. What kind of son would I be if I didn't?

quantumlobster wrote: »

I have a different view, which is likely unpalatable: you need to look after yourself and your family first. Your father is an adult who has made decisions and taken actions that have consequences, and you and your dependants should not bear the brunt of those consequences.

By all means advise and support your father, but I suspect that any arrangement where he moves in with you will rapidly transition from temporary to permanent. Is that something you're willing or able to deal with?

I partly agree with you on this & this morning I have contacted his Sister & confessed that I cannot do this on my own & it is getting me down. She has agreed to help & look into the possibility of him staying where she lives which would take the pressure off me until I am settled in my new place & we have a better idea of the situation.

bflare

deannatrois wrote: »

I don't really see that you will have problems with your TA, so I wouldn't worry about that. I assume its a year's TA? Even if you should have problems renewing (which I wouldn't expect, although it could happen), by then you should both know where you are and are able to plan accordingly. But are you renting a two or three bedroom flat? I realise you want to help your father, but even having him stay for three months could cause more disruption than you realise right now. For now, I wouldn't cause problems by announcing them from the parapet before you move in!

However, I am sorry to ask this but have you been able to find out if your father is still able to qualify for free NHS treatment?

I am not totally sure PIP can be claimed if the claim is made once a person is over 65. Think I read in my musings about my own situation that you can't.

I am just saying this so you are fully prepared. I hope things go well for you and your father.

I hope your right about the TA. I just think its a clause to safeguard the LL. I did mention it to the agent who told me not to bother putting my father on the application.


Regarding NHS. According to Age UK once he is classed as an 'ordinary citizen' which means, broadly, living in the UK on a lawful, voluntary and properly settled basis for the time being. He is entitled to treatment as per https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs25_returning_from_abroad_fcs.pdf


The UK has a residency based healthcare system. This means provision

of NHS treatment is based on being ‘ordinarily resident’ in the UK, not on

your nationality, payment of UK taxes or national insurance contributions,
owning a property, being registered with a GP or having an NHS number.

A British citizen who resumes settled residence in the UK is immediately

entitled to free NHS care.



He is still registered with a UK doctor also.