Selling house for elderly care?

xylophone

Tell me honestly .... what's NOT to like about a home?

Relative's relative has now been in three .

The first was a residential home - at that time she was fit enough to mobilise with sticks, take herself to the garden to read her Telegraph in the sun, go to talks and concerts etc. A delightful place.

It was owned by a charity and certain people (by reason of previous occupation although not this lady) were eligible for grants etc.

The second was a home which provided higher levels of personal care, needed as she became physically frailer - very modern and all mod cons and very expensive ( well over £60,000 a year - there may have been some LA funded residents but as far as my relative could gather, it was not easy to get such funding there).

The third and current is a nursing home - modern and with all mod cons and very attractively situated - even with nursing care component now in payment this is still over £55,000 a year - apparently LA/CHC funding is possible there - but the lady in question does not (as yet anyway) qualify despite the fact that she is deaf, incontinent and immobile and all she can now do for herself (just) is eat with a spoon and hold a cup to drink - pouring the drink without spilling it would no longer be possible, sadly.

Once a person has reached the above stage, the social facilities have become an irrelevance - what matters is kind and efficient personal care and nursing.

lisyloo

Tell me honestly .... what's NOT to like about a home?

To some people the £800 - £1200 per week of their inheritance that's being spent on it.

calleyw

lisyloo wrote: »

To some people the £800 - £1200 per week of their inheritance that's being spent on it.

But until the person is dead its not a inheritance and neither should anyone expect to receive one.


And that is the issue for a lot of posts about care home fees not the cost of a care home but to protect an inheritance that is not a right.


Yours


Calley X

tlc678910

To balance some very positive posts on care homes I have visited a relative and seen people in a communal living room repeatedly ask for the toilet and been ignored or actually told they can't go at the moment - repeatedly.

The main incident i am thinking of was a man telling staff in a communal lounge his catheter bag is full and hurting him being told no one can help at the moment of more specifically "I can't leave this lounge!" pretty shocking when you think this is the level of care when there is a visitor in the room and not only people who can't stick up for themselves through dementia.

If you have relatives or friends in a care home visit them, sit quietly and try to see what goes on. They are relying on you to do so.

Tlc

Cakeguts

lisyloo wrote: »

To some people the £800 - £1200 per week of their inheritance that's being spent on it.

That is the problem. They seem to think that they have the right to someone else's money. If people could just stop thinking that this is their inheritance instead of this is my relative's money to be spent on them we wouldn't have these situations.

xylophone

Relative not particularly happy this evening - he visited to find that the soup ordered had been forgotten and that for the second time he had to find a member of staff to point out that the lady was so positioned that if the bed was adjusted to flat, she would be hard up against the headboard - and apparently she is too heavy for him to move alone....

Probably not wise for him to attempt it anyway - seemingly her skin is fragile enough to need checking throughout the day so that inexpert moving could cause abrasion.

And the fan had not been turned on in the en suite and the door was left open....

So even in expensive and generally well run homes all is not rosy.....

lisyloo

xylophone wrote: »

Dementia results from brain damage caused by a variety of medical conditions (aka diseases....)

https://www.alzscot.org/information_and_resources/information_sheet/1748_what_is_dementia

I probably wasn’t clear, but many people it’s unfair that if you have cancer you get free care but if you have dimensia you don’t.

The current system is based on need so if your primary need is medical you get free care. With dimensia usually the primary needs are personal care.

Personally I’m happy with the current system (and that certainly is not vested interest).

Hillwalker11

Take note of youngblueeyes post. This is what it is like caring for an elderly relative and they didn't have dementia. Unless the relative who will move in with your aunt is a nurse with extensive dementia training this really is a no go area.
Nursing homes are what they say, nursing care 24/7 for people that need not looking after but need nursing. Therein lies the difference.
My cousin looked after both her parents with dementia. They have now died but the effect it has had on not just her but her whole family is all encompassing. She said it was like having a baby, towards the end they were violent.She had interrupted sleep for years where they were either falling out of bed, wandering or screaming.
It is something that cannot and should not be taken lightly.
She feels she lost 10 years of her life.

xylophone

They have now died but the effect it has had on not just her but her whole family is all encompassing. She said it was like having a baby, towards the end they were violent.She had interrupted sleep for years

Went past the point where professional care in a home would have been better for everybody?

Rambosmum

lisyloo wrote: »

I probably wasn’t clear, but many people it’s unfair that if you have cancer you get free care but if you have dimensia you don’t.

The current system is based on need so if your primary need is medical you get free care. With dimensia usually the primary needs are personal care.

Personally I’m happy with the current system (and that certainly is not vested interest).

That's not true though. Simply having cancer doesn't make your treatment free. If you need support in hospital that is free regardless of your disease or illness. If you have cancer and need support when you return home then that will usually be provided by social care, which is means tested. There are no diseases or illnesses which automatically entitle you to free care outside of hospital.

Some people with dementia get CHC funding.