How to Reduce Christmas Present Obligation?

VfM4meplse

Gers wrote: »

My generosity is spread out during the year and confined to a 'have to give' day.

Thats fair enough - but ongoing generosity gets easily forgotten, but absence in the milieu of a gift-giving season is somehow conspicuous. It takes a tough exterior not to be bothered by that misconception!

I give stuff to people because I want to all year round, but I do also tend to give households that mean something to me a joint gift that the family can share at Christmas and Easter, usually something consumable to add a bit of festive cheer. The most trauma that involves is slinging something else into my basket at the supermarket.

-taff

For those who can give, vouchers are so much easier because you can pretty much get them for anything for any amount.
For thse who don't, then budget is the way to go. Just explain your buget doesn't enable to spend the maount of money you have been spending, and that you can afford to do one present hence the secret santa idea.Otherwise it'll be a card and only a card for everyone because you don't want to buy them rubbish tat that they won't like and potentially be offended by

Happy_Kitties

Even with immediate family I shop for bargains and pick up things in January that I will know they will like then store away and again thru the year. I've shaved off quite a few quid doing this and immediate family are happy. Recently I have been getting some gift experiences as u can get up to 25% off.

I worked out with last Christmas I spent my budget of £500 but I actually saved £500 aswell but not everyone has the time or inclination to bargain hunt. Me and DD love it, I just like saving my money and making every penny work but I realise it isn't easy for everyone. Its the best way I can get round the situation.
I'm still shocked at how resistant people can be. One friend when I suggested it last Christmas just ignored it and sent presents as usual.

VfM4meplse

hedgesparrow wrote: »

But no one will agree to even reduce the present giving! People who don’t buy presents, what do you do / say when someone goes ahead and gives you a gift anyway?

Reciprocate with hospitality instead?

Working_Mum

I have cut things down by degrees over a few years. The first big cull was the Christmas after my husband left and I cut out 10 presents yay!!

For a couple of my best friends I suggested we get creative and give or make a gift which has cost no more than £10. I made my friends their Christmas hanging pomanders - a tenner for the oasis ball and free stuff from my garden and baubles form my cheap Xmas decoration box! They were thrilled and their homes looked ace and much nicer than the shop bought ones.

I made sloe gin and vodka for some friends with a little note asking them for the bottles back so i could re-use for them the following year and everyone got returned to me (and will be re-filled with bramble vodka/gin this year!).

I don't get cards for everyone but the ones I do I buy them from C@rd F@ctory and spend a long time writing lovely meaningful things in them.

I bit the bullet a few years ago and simple sent messages to each one individually saying I had to cut back but wanted to return to the meaning of Christmas and most people really understood this.

For men I tend to buy packs of socks and I always get grateful thanks for them!! Most men seem to like practical presents in my family lol

Prinzessilein

Working_Mum wrote: »

(and will be re-filled with bramble vodka/gin this year!).

Homemade bramble gin?????....well hello Working Mum...would you like to be my friend!!!!!

I tend to make Christmas Cards for close friends/family...living in sheltered housing,and I buy a small box of cards to give to some of the residents here (for some of them it is the only card they get)

I make decorations as gifts for friends...we do this for each other, so we have a lovely collection now!

My own wish-list - available to the family - includes books that they can hunt for in charity shops...who cares if it only costs 99p, if it is a title I want to read?

Presents don't need to be expensive - it is the thought that is important.

Mummy2cheekymonkeys

If they are good friends then you should be able to explain to them what you want to do and why. Any decent friends wouldn't be bothered in the slightest surely?

PollyWollyDoodle

I'm from a large family and as we expanded in number present-buying became a bit of a ritual - the amount spent on each grew less and less and the work involved (not just buying but wrapping and delivering) got more. A few years ago we decided that we'd only buy presents for those we were actually seeing at Christmas. It didn't go down well with all family members, and we certainly wouldn't have done it when my parents were still alive. I still send money to under-18s, but otherwise I'm now able to buy a nice (although still low-budget) present for my sisters and nieces, and just send a card to other siblings and their families.

It's been harder with friends. I'm in a close group of friends, some of whom are earning a lot, others like me are on a low budget. One in particular is very generous and I know she loves giving presents, but it's awkward sometimes. I often do homemade presents; one year another friend simply bought everyone a £5 voucher. Another year I did a 'Lucky Dip' lottery ticket, a packet of seeds and some chocolates, in a cracker. I'd like to drop it altogether, but no chance.

I hate the idea that you can somehow value friendship by the gifts you give. Could you do homemade vouchers - a cake baked on request, an hour's gardening, a trip to a garden? I know I'd love to receive those!

t14cy_t

I dont buy Christmas gifts for friends. OH and I dont give each other gifts either. I spend £50 on each of the 6 grandkids, £50 on my elderly mother who lives with my brother who will receive a funny gift usually around the £25 mark. bother my kids are earning more than I make, so we dont exchange gifts! job done. I wouldnt dream of wasting any money on what I call tat, and find out what the grandkids really would like, one this year wants a real unicorn......no pressure then!! unicorn headbands already ordered to use on our unsuspecting dogs....copious amounts of doggie treats to be used to take pictures of the real unicorns to send to grandson in Greece!!!

maman

I resonated well with one of the things Martin:money: said on his programme. That was if you get involved in tit for tat present giving you can end up with tat!

My DD1 started our family off a few years back. We stopped buying for our immediate family except the children. The DGDs are getting older now so unless we have a strong recommendation from their mums then they get money to spend. Vouchers are restrictive and as more and more shops are looking shaky then they are a bit of a risk too. My DD2 was disappointed that we stopped presents as she just loves shopping but now she just buys for her in laws and friends.


Most of my friends decided the same a year or two back. We have just three friends that we exchange a token gift with over a Christmas lunch but that tends to be something cheap or home made. Last year I made them embroidered bags to keep Scrabble tiles in, another year I've bought stollen from Lidl and the wonderful Cremant du Jura from Aldi to tease them that it's worth shopping in places other than Waitrose.


Aside from the feeling that a lot of money gets wasted on tat, It's a joy to just focus on lovely food and drink and good company.:)


If it was me OP, I'd put a message on the WhatsApp group that you won't be buying gifts and won't expect any either. Maybe you'd like to mark the occasion in a different way like having them round for drinks and nibbles. That will depend if it's the whole waste of money thing that bothers you most or whether you really need to cut down on spending. Personally I don't mind spending but on experiences rather than stuff.