How to Reduce Christmas Present Obligation?

MandM90

If the shopping stresses you out why not something like:

"Shopping for 10 Christmas gifts is giving me undue anxiety so I've decided my gift to all of you is to host a party. Please join me for drinks and laughter at my place on X date"

Then spend £50 on plonk and nibbles.

Orrrr if it's the cash that's the issue...

"I know the Secret Santa idea didn't go down too well and I don't want to dictate anyone else's gift giving but I struggle to fit 10 gifts into our monthly budget so I'm doing family only this year. I'd also rather you didn't get me anything so I don't feel compelled to reciprocate. I hope you know that this doesn't mean I love you fabulous lot anymore!!! "(then maybe a 'Help me, I'm poor!' Bridesmaids meme!)

Spendless

Having been told yesterday that I'll lose my job at Christmas, I was bracing myself to tell 1 side of the family that I no longer wanted to do gifts. Then I realised that I've already got adult neice a present and it's personalised with her initial (and no-one else has same initial:D), so am going to go with my plan B that I've had for a while, milestone birthdays of 18, 21 and 30 are all hit the same year in a few years time and I'm going to use that time to say that's the end of presents.

I can deal with my side of family more easily as I have the eldest child who was 18 earlier this year, so this is first year as an adult and I can say please don't feel obliged to get him anything anymore.

Bellisima

Years ago we decided we would only buy for the children in the family, but the children are now grown up and have their own children, who are also adults now, and basically the only children left are the great grandchildren on my husbands side, who we rarely see anyway. The only time we see them is weddings, funerals and present dropping off (by us, not them). They are all family on my husbands side from a previous marriage. I do not have children, but I have three nieces and a nephew, two of whom are adults. We never get gifts in return from the children, not even a birthday card. I seriously think it’s time to stop unnecessary presents and give to charity instead. Lets do it!

maisie_cat

We dropped the present thing gradually over the years, mostly by suggesting that we all have what we need and buying "stuff" for each other is a waste. In the previous years I had mostly things that either expired or went to the charity shop unused.
We used to spend a fortune on nieces & nephews, and as they grew up & were financially independent they decided to opt out anyway.
We just have a small budget for each other, to cover things we'd like to have but do not need, mostly gadgets, tools & new clothes

beanielou

This year I am buying for close family & that is it.
No friends or friends children/ grandchildren.

I really dont care what anyone thinks.
If they cant understand that is their problem & not mine.
If that makes me a bad person so be it!

chirpychick

In the case of the op - i'd offer to host nibbles and drinks being certain the cost would be less than the gift giving.

Or i'd do a £1 bar of chocolate or something like a diary with maybe a little poem or quip explaining times are hard.

Personally though i'd feel very aggrieved if my friends didn't appreciate that i were in a tight spot and agree to no present exchange. I'd like to think true friends wouldn't have any issue with saying no to presents.

We stopped sending gifts to people who never said thank you!

They were the first people who got booted off our list lol.
Then we went to a friends house and she'd clearly forgotten the lovely thought out gift i'd given one of her children the year before and showed it to me fully wrapped in it's cellophane, declaring it was the perfect regifting present - so i took her children off my list too lol. It wasn't necessarily the regifting aspect, I think the fact that I had so thoughtfully brought this item and was so pleased thinking it would be loved and her sheer disregard and not even remembering it was from me. (I always write down who has given my son what so we can say thank you).

We have stopped giving to anyone who we would just send a box of biscuits to because we couldn't think of anything better!

In terms of friends - I buy for their children, 6 children in total to my 1 so sometimes i feel a bit but both would be happy with me gifting their children something my son has grown out of and likewise. I tend to average £7.50 per child.

My parental situation is complicated but we are stopping "the dads and the step mums" this year, instead choosing to do something like a meal where we all pay for ourselves and do a photo or handmade food or decoration from my son. As they buy for him but not for us. Plus they have far more money than we do and never seem to like what we give them.

So we have scaled it back to Inlaws (which is so hard as they have everything) and Mum & her BF (same as above) i have taken to asking these couples what they want and just getting it. It may cost me slightly more but at least i know what im buying isnt ending up in charity shops!
My nan will get scratch cards lol.

I would far rather spend time with those we love. We also expect nothing in return. Unlike some here our cull happened over the course of about 8 years not all at once.

Pollycat

beanielou wrote: »

This year I am buying for close family & that is it.
No friends or friends children/ grandchildren.

I really dont care what anyone thinks.
If they cant understand that is their problem & not mine.
If that makes me a bad person so be it!

I think this is fine if you've had the chat with friends/family in plenty of time to set their expectations (you don't say if you have or not).

I'd think it a bit unfair if you suddenly decided to do it without saying anything as people may spend money they can ill afford because they think they'll be getting a gift from you.
Not what Christmas is about, I know, but a lot of people do tit-for-tat buying.

bugslet

A few years back I gave up buying any gifts whatsoever for Xmas and Birthdays apart from a friend that has twins and times were very tight, still are, and I send some vouchers which I guess she spends on clothes.

No one minded fortunately.

Bah humbug:D

Sea_Shell

What about not wanting the tit for tat buying when the budget isn't the issue.

Just because you may be able to afford to buy for the world and his wife, doesn't mean you have to.

VfM4meplse

Sea_Shell wrote: »

What about not wanting the tit for tat buying when the budget isn't the issue.

Just because you may be able to afford to buy for the world and his wife, doesn't mean you have to.

If you don't want to to show your affection for others by spending money on a treat for them, by all means don't. But treat them well in other ways instead.

Remember that throwing money at a situation is often the result of being time-poor. Shame on anyone who has the disposable money but don't use a little of it to give someone a bit of happiness when they deserve it.