Should i or should i not?

inkie

like i said myself and partner have tried to sort things out for yr and only reason we are together is for the little one.

Have you not thought that this is something that you are going to be faced with time and time again whilstever making the decision to stay with your partner for the sake of the little one? You need to make a decision what you are going to do.

liz105

aside from the awkwardness ms x. would feel around her immediate and possible only colleague WHY ON EARTH DID YOUR OH ASK YOU IF YOU FOUND HER ATTRACTIVE????? This is NOT normal behaiviour unless it is a trick question.

One of two things here...

1. your OH is trying to palm you off as a mutual end to the relationship as neither of you are happy

or

2. she wants a threesome. (no Im not a troll this is a serious suggestion).

Think about it, all the ladies reading this, when on earth was the last time you asked your OH's if they found your colleagues attractive??!! Im guessing never!

We really cant judge until we know the context the OP's OH said this in.

dmg24

liz105 wrote: »

aside from the awkwardness ms x. would feel around her immediate and possible only colleague WHY ON EARTH DID YOUR OH ASK YOU IF YOU FOUND HER ATTRACTIVE????? This is NOT normal behaiviour unless it is a trick question.

One of two things here...

1. your OH is trying to palm you off as a mutual end to the relationship as neither of you are happy

or

2. she wants a threesome. (no Im not a troll this is a serious suggestion).

Think about it, all the ladies reading this, when on earth was the last time you asked your OH's if they found your colleagues attractive??!! Im guessing never!

We really cant judge until we know the context the OP's OH said this in.

Could be one of the above, or it could be just a question out of interest.

My ex and I are both very open minded( ), and would often discuss who we found attractive (boys and girls!). As you say, it is more the context in how it was said that is relevant. We would talk about it in a purely aesthetic nature, in the security that neither of us would act on it.

Being attracted to someone does not that have have to (or even want to) jump into bed with them!

milkydrink

maka wrote: »

we have been working hard at our relationship for yrs.

maybe it would be unprofessional of her to admit but are u saying everybody in this type of role should stay single? there is no difference between that and say someone working at mcdonald and a member of the public asks for their number

No, what people are saying is if a relationship is not working end it, walk away free to start another AFTER ending this one & when you start another don't do it with a relative,friend or workmate of the ex!

Bagpuss1973

She might have asked if he found her colleague attractive because she if feeling insecure. I know I asked with my ex-husband. He denied it but was lying:eek:

I think you are playing with a fire ball mate. Remember that even if you and your OH do split then you will still be seeing her on a regular basis if you really do intend to keep seeing your child. Rubbing her nose in your new affair and especially with someone she works with I would feel would be very awkward for all concerned.

Surely on this planet there are enough females without you picking the one she works with?

You say she is everything - how on earth can you know that from chats whilst in a dentist chair??

I think you are living in lala land. Take a step back - sort your relationship out (either way) and then go it alone for a while because if you do break-up you are going to have plenty to deal with without a new love interest.

hayley11

Hi OP

Speaking from experience, I would say if you and your OH are unhappy and you have tried to make things work and it just isn't happening, then you should split and sort everything out and get over it, because even if it's something you want, it's still very painful.

Then once the dust has settled on your old relationship and you're sure you're still interested in Ms X then find a way to tell her that wont upset your current OH, she is still the mother of your child after all.

Personally I think telling Ms X now while you're still in a relationship (with somebody she works with! :eek:) is pretty selfish and will just cause awkwardness and upset for everybody involved. I do believe in following
your heart, it worked out well for me but there's a right way to do things.

Good luck x

stormshield

I don't really know what to recommend to be honest, I had been unhappy for a fair few years with my relationship with my wife and didn't dare say anything about it for fear of loosing my kids...

Things came to a head about 6 months ago and we finally parted about 4 months ago, I left the kids with her because I wanted to make it as easy on them as possible and with me working and her not it seemed best, I left them in the family home with pretty much everything in the house. She since had to move but luckily got into a nice house in a reasonable area, I moved to about 3 miles away so am close enough to see the kids still.

Currently we are going through divorce and contact proceedings but communications have pretty much broken down between us and my contact with the kids is suffering as a result.

At the moment, I dont know if I did the right thing ending the relationship, I know we dont argue infront of the kids anymore but then again I dont see them much either......


Guess this post isn't going to be very helpful but if your relationship is savable at this point I will say one thing, do everything you can to save it, dont be an idiot and sit there in silence hoping it'll get better.


Take care with whatever you decide

miserly_mum

Amazingly this whole discussion fails to mention that the Dentist has in no way(as far as i'm aware) said she was interested in the OP.

Sound like she's nothing more than a bit of W%&king at the moment

dmg24

miserly_mum wrote: »

Amazingly this whole discussion fails to mention that the Dentist has in no way(as far as i'm aware) said she was interested in the OP.

Sound like she's nothing more than a bit of W%&king at the moment

I mentioned it! x

Big_Bird_4

maka
You owe it to your son to do everything you possibly can to make a go of your relationship with his mother.
Relationships are hard, they have to be worked at. Think what it would mean to the lad if you could work things out with his mum. Face up to your responsibilities and take pride in being the kind of man your son can look up to.
Don't shatter his world over this immature fantasy.