Money Moral Dilemma: Should we give our daughter the same allowance as our son?

moneyistooshorttomention

ska_lover wrote: »

Or to put it another way, shall I penalise one child for achieving more than the other child?

Precisely.

It sounds out exactly the wrong message - ie one that "Don't try harder - because you won't get any more for doing so and might even lose out".

Surely a parent wants to convey the message of "Work hard and you get more"??

ska_lover

badmemory wrote: »

Said very tongue in cheek



Pay her the lower amount so she can get used to the fact that females are less financially valued than males!!

LOL i thought the same

gloriouslyhappy

lewisia wrote: »

Most of these moral dilemmas could be solved by actually talking to the people concerned!

Do families not communicate any more, my family talk any problems/dilemmas through with
each other.

Yes of course communication is key, but these forums are supposed to be a safe place to discuss things in a general way and hear the opinions of others. Unfortunately, they're often taken over by people moaning about 'made-up dilemmas'!

taffylady

Does your daughter know how much your son’s allowance is?
To carry this to it’s logical conclusion... are you going to subsidise the pay of the poorer paid when they get a job, or their mortgage if one gets a cheaper deal than the other.
I think I would give her less cash, but save the difference for her. She’ll thank you in the long run.

gloriouslyhappy

winston_1 wrote: »

How times have changed. As soon as I had a part time job pocket money stopped and I was asked to make a contribution to the household expenses.

That's how it was when I was a teenager too! Ironic #showingmyage ?

silvercar

I once had a similar quandary about subsiding university fees. My eldest went to uni when the fees were £3k a year and my youngest's fees were £9k a year. It was a MMD at the time, here.

I've come to the conclusion that these sorts of dilemmas only apply if you have only 2 children, once the number of offspring increase, it is too difficult to start balancing all siblings for every expenditure.

fibonarchie

GlasweJen wrote: »

I'm sure MSE went nuts when research said there was a gender pay gap when it came to pocket money. I can't believe you'd honestly contemplate giving a child less for any reason. Do you often foster sibling resentment?

badmemory wrote: »

Said very tongue in cheek



Pay her the lower amount so she can get used to the fact that females are less financially valued than males!!

ajm79 wrote: »

I think yes or she's in effect being discouraged from doing her job. It reminds me of the benefit system where some people don't work, even when they want to, because they are better off on benefits!!

... just a small selection of some of the unpleasant or hysterical blatherings you get on this board.

Fwiw I never had an allowance from 'mummy and daddy'. When I was old enough to get a part time job I used my earnings from the job to pay for my teenage wants and needs - music, cinema, clothes and shoes etc

I've no idea what my siblings were given, and nor do I care!

maman

Lots of the responses seem to be answering as if the differing allowances were being paid at the same time. If that was the case then I'd agree with all the posters who said they should have equal amounts BUT....


I read the OP as saying that the son is now past 18 and no longer has his allowance. The DD is that age (under 18) now and should she have the same as DS had some years ago.


I can definitely see a case for giving the DD more because costs have escalated in the interim. As an example we paid for our elder DD to have driving lessons years ago. She passed her test after a couple of attempts. DD2 (just a year younger) took her test once, failed then went off to university, got a job, bought a home, got married, had a child etc. etc. Eventually she decided she really ought to drive so many years later we're now paying for her driving lessons again. She didn't ask, we chose to do this as we said we'd have paid when she was 18 if life hadn't got in the way. Needless to say the cost per hour has gone up considerably!!:eek:

JayD

Absolutely you should treat them both the same - but I am unsure as to why you would give either of them a regular allowance!

crmism

I think your children should count themselves very fortunate to have any allowance between the moment they leave school and begin full-time employment. It certainly wasn't done for me or any of my school-friends, but then I'm talking about a time when all youngsters entering the workplace - even as paper rounds or Saturday jobs - were expected to help pay for their keep, no matter what they earned.

What, if anything, you decide to pay your daughter is your concern and should be measured against her contribution to the family rather than how much she earns or how much it compares with her brother's earnings. I would, though, caution you on creating a situation that inhibits her understanding of what independence and adulthood really mean. Reliance by teenagers on their parents' goodwill isn't healthy.