Money Moral Dilemma: Should we give our daughter the same allowance as our son?

LesD

Perhaps it's time for a MSE poll on who gives their kids allowances?

I'm at odds with Mrs D on this! I never had 'allowances' and had two concurrent 'pocket money jobs'. But she says times have changed and gives our grandson 'pocket money'. So do his parents and so he has no pocket money jobs. (Needs all the time for his studies!)

I truly believe this is a major cause of poor financial management skills and why people get trapped in Wongaism. Wonga's interest rate was merely a reflection of the high risk involved in lending to that clientele.

PixelPound

Just playing devil's advocate here.


If you pay the same amount then aren't you paying less in relative terms. Your son was paid from 16 to 18 so is now older that 18, so 19, 20, 21 ...

Do you get paid the same as you did 4 or 5 years ago, so are you expecting your daughter to? Starting salaries where I work have gone up in that time so so should your allowance

Your daughter gets paid more as the minimum wage has gone up
2014 under 18's £3.79 so £60.64 for 16 hrs
2018 under 18's £4.20 so £67.20 for 16 hrs

That's a 10.8% increase.

So you are saying can you pay your daughter 11% less (in relative terms) or can you cut it even more by paying a lower allowance because she gets money elsewhere. The equivalent might be if your boss cut your wage because your son is now older, so you need less money, and said once your daughter is older you'll get another cut.

I know this one of those hypothetical questions, but people forget the effect of inflation.

buildersdaughter

There's another dimension - not mentioned - which is about the amount of studying being done and the amount of spare time.
We had one child who had to travel quite a distance to do a specialist course, he also volunteered with a group of special needs children, enabling access to sports. He had done this since age 14, and we wanted to continue to support this. So we recognised that he could only get a job in the college holidays, and gave him a slightly increased allowance.
We did the same for one of our children who was competing in their chosen sport at National level - the training and travelling ate into earning time.
So the one who continued education very near home and had no demands on his time didn't get an allowance - he did get a part-time job that was very helpful in getting into his chosen profession.
But we did talk, explain, and ask for opinions.

Patricia01

Don't punish her for earning more than your son did - you'll only be telling her either there's no reward for ambition, or you love your son more than her.

primrose_penguin

Give your daughter the same allowance as your son. You don't say what their age difference is but things will be more expensive than they were when your son was 16, don't penalize her for getting herself a better paid part time job, she is earning more than your son because wages have risen along with the cost of living, The allowance will be worth less to your daughter than it was to your son for these reasons. No doubt you are proud of her for not sitting around doing nothing, so treat her the same as your son.

Melancholie

crmism wrote: »

I think your children should count themselves very fortunate to have any allowance between the moment they leave school and begin full-time employment.

At age 16 the daughter is still in education and not working full-time. Legislation requires 16-18 year olds to be in full-time education, on an apprenticeship scheme or working/volunteering part-time (20 hours) and studying part-time. The law changed in 2013.

chris5100

- Do you have a change in your own financial situation?
- You don't mention how old your son is now, what is the age gap? I ask as if he is say 6 years older, things change a lot in parents financial situations over that time.

If things have changed and you are putting your financial future at stake, then you need to explain to your daughter that you are having financial issues. I'm making an assumption here, that something is driving you to ask the question but you have omitted some information, perhaps feeling embarrassed about it.

Ebenezer_Screwj

Why are you subsidising these people? When I turned 21 my father suggested that I got a job and somewhere to live. I did. I've never looked back.