Neighbour with dementia

pmlindyloo

Have the children actually contacted their parents' doctor?

Eu_Bares_All

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I would raise a safeguarding concern with the council but I would also call the police every single time you hear the abuse happening. ......... It also puts them on the radar in the way that a one off call doesn't and the police have a safeguarding duty too, it will also mean there is an official record of what is happening.

This is the crux of the matter and is what should be done. The Police will put pressure on SS and the latter will be tasked in getting involved from a safeguard perspective.

Another method if you feel the above is not working is to contact your MP and ask they put pressure on SS. At this stage do not give details of any individuals but advise that there is recognised abuse, you have contacted both the police and SS, yet nothing has occurred. Advise that you are willing to be contacted by SS for further confidential information exchange. Nothing makes SS Service Directors and Councillors move quicker than an MP letter.

billy2shots

Hi OP,

The people you need to speak to are your local 'Adult Safeguarding Team'.

What is happening is 'neglect '. The husband does not have to set out with the intention of neglecting his wife but unfortunately that is what's occurring.

Just Google your town name and 'safe guarding' and you will find contact details. Your information will be treated completely confidentially so do not fear any comback.

Every passing day your neighbors dementia will become worse and every day her husband will abuse her more, whether he intends to or not.

troubleinparadise

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I would raise a safeguarding concern with the council, as Elsien suggested, but I would also call the police every single time you hear the abuse happening. This will keep them both safe because you don't know if things will get on top of him so much one time that he does something to himself or to her that he would regret. It also puts them on the radar in the way that a one off call doesn't and the police have a safeguarding duty too, it will also mean there is an official record of what is happening.

This. Repeated calls to Social Services and the Police will be the only way to get this couple the help they need, but are resisting.

It is incredibly sad, but is more common than people realise.

bugslet

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Have the children actually contacted their parents' doctor?

Speaking to them on Monday night, that was the first thing that they thought of doing. I don't know if they have an appointment yet, but that is on the cards.

Eu_Bares_All wrote: »

This is the crux of the matter and is what should be done. The Police will put pressure on SS and the latter will be tasked in getting involved from a safeguard perspective.

Another method if you feel the above is not working is to contact your MP and ask they put pressure on SS. At this stage do not give details of any individuals but advise that there is recognised abuse, you have contacted both the police and SS, yet nothing has occurred. Advise that you are willing to be contacted by SS for further confidential information exchange. Nothing makes SS Service Directors and Councillors move quicker than an MP letter.

I think they will try the various agencies that have been suggested and if that does no good, then getting the MP involved would be a good idea. Thanks, not thought of that one before.

bugslet

billy2shots wrote: »

Hi OP,

The people you need to speak to are your local 'Adult Safeguarding Team'.

What is happening is 'neglect '. The husband does not have to set out with the intention of neglecting his wife but unfortunately that is what's occurring.

Just Google your town name and 'safe guarding' and you will find contact details. Your information will be treated completely confidentially so do not fear any comback.

Every passing day your neighbors dementia will become worse and every day her husband will abuse her more, whether he intends to or not.

I've googled adult safeguarding and it gives out the main number for social services, but at least I know the terminology now.:)

billy2shots

bugslet wrote: »

I've googled adult safeguarding and it gives out the main number for social services, but at least I know the terminology now.:)

The safeguarding team are social workers who have gone through the relevant training to deal with all kinds of abuse.

First you will speak to someone who gathers all the facts from you. This is like a triage service in a hospital. Your information will then be used to see if a full investigation is needed.

I use this service every couple of months due to my job. Within the same day you should know if they will take the matter further.

By all means contact SS directors and MPs etc but the safeguarding team is where the matter will end up so save time and cut out the middle men.

It goes without saying that you can still call the police if there is an emergency or you feel someone is in immediate danger or a crime has been committed.

Tough situation, best of luck.

bugslet

Thanks billy, great to have info from someone that knows how it works.

ciderboy2009

It might be worth asking this question on the Talking Point forums - they've been extremely helpful whenever I've had any queries/ problems with my father's dementia.

badmemory

Don't expect the police to do anything or social workers. One of my neighbours was waiving a gun out of the window, the police came & took the gun, no other action. Social workers refused to visit because he was aggressive & nothing happened. A local child was heard at school to say she had seen his bare a*** & nothing happened. A neighbour wrote a monthly letter to his doctor detailing what had gone on in that month & nothing happened. The police brought him back home where he lived alone many times because he was totally lost & nothing happened.


And I hate myself for saying this but eventually he had a bad fall & was confined to a chair & peace reigned & we all heaved a sigh of relief because none of us actually enjoyed sitting in our locked cars when we got home until he decided to wander off.


Dementia is a nasty thing but don't expect to get anything done.