forgotten birthday

lincroft1710

DrivingMissDaisy wrote: »

Just because you have one foot in the grave doesnt mean everyone else is in the same boat. The OP said it was a significant birthday and wanted it to be a special one.

Did I say they were!

It may be a "significant birthday" for her, but if no-one in her OH's family knows or remembers her age, she can't expect the attention she was expecting. Also not everybody regards reaching a certain age as a significant birthday.

I attended a "significant birthday" gathering yesterday. I reach a "significant age" next year, I hope no-one remembers!

jackieblack

lincroft1710 wrote: »

I'm now of an age where another birthday is another year nearer my coffin.

That's true of any age, even if people don't like to acknowledge it :think:

Pollycat

Guineapigsqueaks wrote: »

I really don't get adults who do the whole "everyone must make a fuss of me because it's my birthday" thing. I find it a bit childish, but perhaps they are just more enthusiastic about birthdays than I am. I certainly wouldn't expect people to remember how old I am. I struggle to remember sometimes! They didn't forget, they all sent cards didn't they, just not of the correct type apparently.

Quite.
We were on a flight recently and cabin crew announced that it was !!!! Smith's (other names are available :cool:) 60th birthday.
Well. So what?
Who thought that 180 other passengers were bothered in the slightest about !!!! Smith's birthday to the extent that they asked cabin crew to announce it?

maman

peachyprice wrote: »

So you had a 'special' birthday but didn't invite them, now one of them is having a 'special' birthday that they have invited you to but you don't want to go because they didn't make a fuss over your birthday that you didn't invite them to?

Do you really need to ask if you're being childish?

That's the crucial point to me. I had a big birthday earlier in the year and invited a large number of family and friends to celebrate with me. Anyone who didn't know how old I was in advance could read it clearly on the invitation so most of my cards had numbers on them.


DH has the same significant birthday in a couple of weeks time but he doesn't want a big celebration so we've just invited our immediate family for a meal. Only today DD checked with me that she'd got the number right as he's kept it quiet and she was beginning to question her own memory!


I anticipate that on the day he'll receive lots of cards from his siblings and from my side of the family. Some will have numbers on them some won't. The usual suspects will send the cards late or forget altogether. He won't be upset because he knows some are more organised than others.

ska_lover

toomuchmess wrote: »

I'll try and keep it short, but i had a special birthday last year but all dh family forgot it was special apart from one who sort of realised.
i had a card from them all but no reference to age or gift.
we had agreed that we would only buy for special birthdays and children upto 21.

So last year before mine, i sent card/gift and went to family member special birthday,this year we have another family member special birthday and to be honest im still feeling peeved off about it.
we've been asked out for a meal with family but i don't want to go,we also can't afford it and i certainly don't feel like giving a gift. I have brought a card to send with age on it!
what are your thoughts, am i being mean/childish about this?!

Honestly OP, you did ask - I think it is childish.

They all sent you a card. They all acknowledged your birthday

Can not believe you are still holding on to this pettiness since last YEAR. Just stop, this is ugly behaviour

If your OH goes to this birthday meal without you, you will certainly be sending 'a message' - and look mega petty. You will come across as the loser, not them

You can't drag oh into this stupidity and make him chose between you and his family, - which lets face it, is what you are planning saying to him 'either go alone or don't go'. If money is THAT tight, no one goes. The money thing looks like a mega excuse. I mean if you are that hard up, both you and OH meet up for drinks after and genuinely wish the birthday boy/girl well. You dont have to go for the meal ..stop making excuses

Stop looking for drama where there is NONE

Sorry I know this comes across as harsh but if you were my inlaw, I would be thinking this is completely self centrered.. I work 50 hours a week and have my own life / kids/ family/ responsibilities and would have felt I had done well remembering and acknowledging your birthday...which is not centre of your in laws universe

I remember years ago, my SIL having a teary tantrum at her birthday party, because someone had forgotten a card. I knew at that point me and her would ever be close

KiKi

It was a 'special' birthday for me, this year. However, I don't have anyone who's going to organise anything special for me. So I did it myself! Had a big party for friends, organised an evening for close friends, booked myself into a spa, booked a meal out, spent too much in my favourite shop etc. If I hadn't bothered, probably no-one else would have!

If you want to make something then go for it. But not advertising it and then being upset for a year that no-one bothered with you is a bit petty. Most people don't ignore you on purpose or with bad intent -they're just busy with their lives. But really, when you're an adult, a 'big' birthday usually needs to be managed by you if you want people to pay attention and make it special!

(When I was much younger, to be honest, I'd probably been a bit 'woe is me' and wallowed in the misery of no-one noticing it was my birthday. I got over that and realised that, actually, inviting people over and making a fuss of myself meant that people were really happy to celebrate with me. You'll only make yourself miserable thinking like this. Next year, have some family and friends over to celebrate your 'belated' special birthday and enjoy it!)

welshbabe88

Yes Kiki - I did my own 60th too - if I didn't bother no one else would have - but then I'm the one who likes to organise stuff. I know other birthdays have just gone by - but its best to advertise it yourself as often others are too wrapped up in their own lives.

welshbabe88

I know one year I completely forgot a friend's birthday - so much so that when I remembered I rang her up to wish her happy birthday two months late! We had a good laugh about it and it didn't mean I thought any the less of her - sometimes dates just pass us by.


It is nice to be remembered and I can recall one Xmas not getting a card at all from young sons or hubby - they were too young to have initiated it and should have come from hubby - but it did hurt as I put so much effort into Xmas. Now one son is a gift and card giver but the other isn't - though he is to other people but says its my fault for the way I raised him! Though I have always made a fuss of their birthdays. These things do hurt a little but not worth getting too upset about in the big scheme of things - and in-laws are always going to be less connected than your own family - well mostly anyway.