Paying for 25 year old child

moneyistooshorttomention

PasturesNew wrote: »

If you drop out now it might amplify any feelings of "rejection" they had ... leading to a life of poor choices and poor outcomes. Support your child for just one more year, get them started in life and then you can freely wash your hands of financial involvement, knowing you "did your best" instead of tripping them up at the last hurdle.

Not to mention they will (at some level in their minds) be bearing in mind that they are "child" at university and you have other children (not child) - ie at least 3 children. If you start questioning their financial choices - they might start questioning yours (ie having that 3rd child).

Best for both parties to just keep quiet and "suck it up" and you keep paying them the money you agreed to pay them. It's not fair to pull the rug from under them part way through.

They'll likely become more cynical part way through their life anyway - but no point in starting them off by having them feel "betrayed" by their own parents breaking promises to them.

I agree that it's wrong for a government to expect people of 18 plus to still be financially dependant on parents - but there's nothing one can do about government policy on that and I can't see any government changing that unless/until the number of University students reduces back down to "normal" levels (rather than "every other person goes regardless" levels).

ska_lover

annandale wrote: »

Unemployed people don't have lectures to go to, neither do they have books, travel, fees, halls or rent to pay for out of what is very often a low income. .

Unemployed people have to pay rent too. (Not all covered under housing benefit, I mean)

maman

CruisingSaver wrote: »

When my daughter goes to uni next year she will only receive the minimum maintenance loan, currently £4,054, due to our household income. Her accommodation will cost circa £5,400 so she's already got a significant gap before she even starts looking at her living costs.


It isn't her fault that she'll only get the minimum loan and as a parent I refuse to see her struggle to afford university. Me and DH have agreed to pay for her accommodation and we view this as our parental responsibility to do so.


I just don't get the mindset that begrudges providing for your child.

Nor do I.

I think that's the saddest thing about this thread. Regardless of the ins and outs of student finance, this young man is going is likely to come away from it all knowing that his parents resented paying the money.:(


I can only assume that it's debt that's souring the parent's mindset. I can't imagine being resentful of my own child for having a holiday or going to a festival when they'd budgeted to do so. Also already planning to take 'board' from them if they want to come home.

annandale

Unemployed people have to pay rent too. (Not all covered under housing benefit, I mean)

I didn't when I was renting. And I was renting until last December. What I would have had to pay was bedroom tax although that is covered by DHP in Scotland. But yes, depending on the LHA rate for the area some unemployed people might have to pay some rent.

annandale

I agree that it's wrong for a government to expect people of 18 plus to still be financially dependant on parents - but there's nothing one can do about government policy on that and I can't see any government changing that unless/until the number of University students reduces back down to "normal" levels (rather than "every other person goes regardless" levels).

People still are not getting this. Students are dependent on parents because the amount they get in maintenance grants is low. Are you honestly suggesting that when someone turns 18 they will magically be able to afford 9000k a year in tuition fees and 8k in maintenance loans?

They will wake up on their 18th birthday and have 17k in the bank (plus), to be able to put themselves through uni.

The ONLY way many students can afford to get to college or uni is because parents help out.

Why not criticise the Govt for replacing grants with loans and not making those grants big enough rather than criticising the fact that they expect parents to help out financially when someone is a student.

I would not have been able to afford to go to uni without my mums help. My brother the same. She did not grudge us that help, she wanted us to have the same opportunities that she had had.

annandale

“
I agree that it's wrong for a government to expect people of 18 plus to still be financially dependant on parents - but there's nothing one can do about government policy on that and I can't see any government changing that unless/until the number of University students reduces back down to "normal" levels (rather than "every other person goes regardless" levels).

Students need more help to get through university than they did even in my day, because student grants were abolished and replaced with loans. This Government could afford to pay grants to students. It has billions to spend on other things. It could afford to increase them.

Lets not make this an argument of every person over 18 should be able to support themselves because someone is struggling to give their child 20 pounds a week. I wasnt financially independent at 18. I know few people who were. Even ones who were working full time tended to live at home.

Basically people are saying students should be given no help or support when they turn 18 because they are an adult even if it causes them finanicial hardship

Tell me where they get the money to study, pay rent, fees, bills, books and travel from then? A 20 hour a week part time job won't cover that. As I posted above, some of the cheapest flats in my area are 600 pounds a month.

happyandcontented

svain wrote: »

You can either afford it or not afford it. If we are talking about £20 a week for a final year, i really struggle to see why you would begrudge it (based on previous declarations) and should just suck it up and smile. If however there is a genuine affordability issue, then pull the plug. Its crazy that you are backed into a corner to subsidise a 25 year adult.

Decleration : ... Ive always stated that i would not fund a university lifestyle choice for either of our kids (even though i can afford to) .... Very little value in it nowadays imo and something they can put themselves thru as independent adults should they choose.

I am confused, how do those two statements sit together?

moneyistooshorttomention

annandale wrote: »

People still are not getting this. Students are dependent on parents because the amount they get in maintenance grants is low. Are you honestly suggesting that when someone turns 18 they will magically be able to afford 9000k a year in tuition fees and 8k in maintenance loans?

They will wake up on their 18th birthday and have 17k in the bank (plus), to be able to put themselves through uni.

The ONLY way many students can afford to get to college or uni is because parents help out.

Why not criticise the Govt for replacing grants with loans and not making those grants big enough rather than criticising the fact that they expect parents to help out financially when someone is a student.

I would not have been able to afford to go to uni without my mums help. My brother the same. She did not grudge us that help, she wanted us to have the same opportunities that she had had.

No - far from.

The way I would like to see things is the "usual" number of University students going that used to go (not every other person - regardless of ability or no).

Those people that go - to get grants again - as from adult age (ie turning 18) and to have tuition fees covered again.

I thought it was quite clear I meant "Put the clock back to the way things were back in the 1970s";
- full grants
- full tuition fees covered
- only the usual number of people to go to University

and people treated as adults as from 18th birthday - ie the Government pays (not the student themselves and not their parents either).

happyandcontented

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

No - far from.

The way I would like to see things is the "usual" number of University students going that used to go (not every other person - regardless of ability or no).

Those people that go - to get grants again - as from adult age (ie turning 18)

I agree, regardless of whether as a parent you subsidise your child, they still end up in debt which has to be repaid when they are earning enough. If they never earn enough then the country pays and that is a fiscal timebomb.

The student loan is effectively a graduate tax.

Not everyone is cut out for university either academically or emotionally. They all emerge with a huge debt of c40k for a 3-year course. I think we are probably too far down the track to change tack now, but years of eroding the entrance requirements to allow all and sundry in and of running degree courses which have little measurable quality or future career prospects built in, have imo, devalued the system beyond repair.

WibblyGirly

The only reason I could afford to go to uni was because I was 25 and so my parents income didn't apply. I worked part time throughout my 3 years so I was able to get by between the full loan/grant and my wages. I was also lucky that I got a bursary (because I was very low income) from the uni so I did get to go on a little holiday.
If I'd got less loan due to my parents I'd have either had to wait until later when they didn't count or just give up the idea altogether.

I do think it's unfair that past 21 it still relies on your parents earnings unless you can prove you've lived independently for 3 years. But that's the way it is. I'd keep paying it for this year as it's their final year. Surely they'd be costing more than that if they lived at home??