Paying for 25 year old child

GwylimT

Be thankful they’re not training to be a doctor! Our son couldn’t work at all due to his workload, on top of that medical students have very short holidays.

We had a decent income, but my severely disabled wife costs in carers, physiotherapy etc, so we had very little disposable income. I had a newish car, so I sold it and bought a £400 banger, it lasted the course with very little needing doing above usual maintenance, the money from the car sale went into a seperate account to help him at uni.

It was the small things as well, my wife went for free haircuts at college instead of paying at a salon, I stopped going to a barber and just shaved my head instead (so saved on shampoo too!).

We did save for him, but this was very little due to the high costs associated with my wifes disability.

silvercar

We weren't given any warning that we would have to subsidise our child through uni and I guess that is naivety on our part.

Student loans, and the grants that were given out before them, have been means tested since well before your 25 year old was born!

My student grant in the early 80s was means tested, how much warning do you need?

Presumably your childcare costs should reduce, are all your other children at school.

Living in an area with high rent, no public transport, no mains gas sounds expensive, have you looked at cheaper areas within your budgets?

Spendless

silvercar wrote: »

Student loans, and the grants that were given out before them, have been means tested since well before your 25 year old was born!

My student grant in the early 80s was means tested, how much warning do you need?

I've mentioned this before especially on DT. My DS starts at Uni in 2 weeks time. He is first generation to go, so no I did not know how means testing of grants/loans worked. Not even with my peer group who went (not many perhaps 3 out of my class form) in the 1980s I wasn't close friends with them so apart from a cursory 'I got a grant to live on' if I fell into conversation with them, it wasn't details I knew. I think I first became aware of how it worked with Martin's post around 2 years ago
https://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/09/how-much-are-parents-supposed-to-give-their-children-when-they-go-to-university/

When we looked around Unis for DS earlier this year there was next to nothing about this in all the talks, literature we attended and picked up. There was a vague mention in a RL story in one of the pamphlets at one place so that's it.

There aren't that many media articles about it either. Most focus on the jump in the tuition fee, so yes, I can understand that the OP didn't know either.

davidwood681

Spendless wrote: »

I've mentioned this before especially on DT. My DS starts at Uni in 2 weeks time. He is first generation to go, so no I did not know how means testing of grants/loans worked. Not even with my peer group who went (not many perhaps 3 out of my class form) in the 1980s I wasn't close friends with them so apart from a cursory 'I got a grant to live on' if I fell into conversation with them, it wasn't details I knew. I think I first became aware of how it worked with Martin's post around 2 years ago
https://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/09/how-much-are-parents-supposed-to-give-their-children-when-they-go-to-university/

When we looked around Unis for DS earlier this year there was next to nothing about this in all the talks, literature we attended and picked up. There was a vague mention in a RL story in one of the pamphlets at one place so that's it.

There aren't that many media articles about it either. Most focus on the jump in the tuition fee, so yes, I can understand that the OP didn't know either.

Martin Lewis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3On2PG1CZA

Worth a watch

annandale

I think you are right. I am annoyed at the expectation I should fund a 25 year old.

This is the way student finance works as I am sure you know by now

I am annoyed that we have a good income but our individual circumstances are taken into account.

No ones are, they are interested in your income, not your outgoings

Rental prices in this area are double what we used to pay in another county - none of this is taken into account for student finance. We have more than the average number of children but this is not taken into account, we are still expected to fund one child at the detriment of the others.

Again, absolutely irrelevant as far as student finance is concerned

We have a high income so the only benefit we receive is child benefit. No help with rental costs which could equate to a third of our income.

I've personally worked in jobs where Ive earned a pittance but I've still had to pay some rent. The student finance company are not responsible for yours or anyone elses outgoings

We live in a rural area so have to run two cars, there is no public transport. This comes at a cost. Our household fuel costs are a lot higher than most as we don't have mains gas.
We get no help with childcare costs so any earnings can be reduced greatly when we have to pay for childcare. None of this is taken into account by student finance.

There will be many people in your position I suspect

We weren't given any warning that we would have to subsidise our child through uni and I guess that is naivety on our part. We have a debt problem and that is our fault alone but when you are trying to budget and have £90 a month taken out to support one child it is unfair on the other children who don't attend any clubs or activities because we just do't have any spare money to pay for it.

I find it hard to understand people who say they didn't know they would have to make a contribution. My brother is 39 and went to uni at 17. He had a student loan back then. How did people think their child's education was to be paid for? Fees? Halls of residence? Travel? Books? Even back in 1992 when I got a grant, my mum still had to pay some parental contribution even though she didn't earn a high salary. My brother took out a student loan for the 3 years he was away from home (and my mum did help him financially). He had to. He had halls of residence and later flats to pay for, travel, books and bills as well.

There are always going to be costs associated with going to uni, there always have been.

You are talking about 20 pounds a week. That is not a huge amount of money.

Marvel1

annandale wrote: »

I've been to festivals for less than 100 quid. And had a week's holiday abroad for 3-400. That's a bit different than a parent refusing to pay a 2-3 grand contribution

At 25, I managed to get a mortgage and moved out on my own, no help from Mammy and Daddy.

annandale

A few friends and family members find it incredulous that we still give our 24 year old money but I would worry that withdrawal of that funding may mean the difference between eating properly. Child does manage to have nights out while at uni and I don't begrudge that they have fun but it is difficult not to feel upset when we can't afford to do the same.

You sound very much like you do begrudge it. Again, this sounds more about your finances than theirs. And if you are subsidising their lifestyle when you cant over and above the 20 quid a week you are supposed to give them and you are lending money you won't see again. Stop.

ska_lover

foolofbeans wrote: »

Just to answer a few questions:
Child has worked throughout uni, luckily their course allows them to be able to work a few hours each week. They live away from home to attend uni.
The loan reduction due to our income equates to about £20 per week in term-time. It's not much but it is when every penny is spoken for.
We have subsidised for three years and this is the final year we will have to do it.
I agree with posters that say it would be unfair to pull funding now. I suppose I got excited at not having to do so when I heard about the 'independent student' status at 25 and then felt frustrated when I realised we missed out because child was born a week too late! A few friends and family members find it incredulous that we still give our 24 year old money but I would worry that withdrawal of that funding may mean the difference between eating properly. Child does manage to have nights out while at uni and I don't begrudge that they have fun but it is difficult not to feel upset when we can't afford to do the same.
In summary, we shall fund this last year but I will speak to our child to say that if they return home after their course we can no longer assist with funding their lifestyle so they will have to pay board and we can no longer 'lend' money that is never paid back.
Thank you all for your frank views.

If you are high earners but worried about £20 a week sounds like you could do with an overhaul of your finances - you may find this massively helpful

I don't think it incredulous whatsoever that you give your 24 year old money, it's not that unusual. Some young adults need a bit of extra support. Your friends and family who are stating this need to realise that they don't speak for the entire world and not everyone has identical circumstances to them...And there are reasons people say this stuff:- to make you feel a failure / to point out that their life is practically perfect in every way - either way, they are just trying to score points and have little understanding of anything that isn't happening to them

Sounds like you have reached a great conclusion OP, fund for the final year they are now in - and then regular financial help will stop. After that, there is no reason you would need to help regularly, they young adult will be able to work full time

Red-Squirrel_2

cjdavies wrote: »

At 25, I managed to get a mortgage and moved out on my own, no help from Mammy and Daddy.

Were you a full time university student when you did that?

annandale

At 25, I managed to get a mortgage and moved out on my own, no help from Mammy and Daddy.

What does this have to do with student finance expecting parents to pay a parental contribution for their student sons or daughters? Zero.

Were you a student when you got your mortgage with no help from Mammy or Daddy?