Paying for 25 year old child

annandale

I've been to festivals for less than 100 quid. And had a week's holiday abroad for 3-400. That's a bit different than a parent refusing to pay a 2-3 grand contribution

maman

annandale wrote: »

What is the sum of money you will be expected to give? I find this a bit odd tbh. You sound as if you resent the fact that your child has been able to go on holiday every year. Buy stuff and go to festivals. If this was with your money surely you had the option to say no.

I think it sounds resentful too. Surely once the 'child' has the parental contribution, the loan and earnings from part time work it's up to them to budget. If the student is able to prioritise spending to ensure they have enough left for holidays then I'd be proud of them.


To me the fact this child is almost 25 is irksome but irrelevant. If s/he was 18 the same logic would apply but for all three years.


The government do expect parents to make up the difference but obviously they can't be forced to.


I suppose OP could say to the child something along the lines of: 'I know we promised to support you through university but we've changed our minds. We've made such a mess of our own budgeting that we're in debt but we've noticed you're rather good at stretching your money as you've enough left over for holidays. So because of this we've decided that you could easily manage on less so we're going to stop your allowance and keep the money to pay off our debts. OK?'

peachyprice

How much, if any, is left of the maintenance grant after accommodation? How much does your 'child' earn themselves?

annandale

When I was 18 I went to college. My mum is a single parent and I got a grant as we got back then. She had to pay some parental contribution but not a huge amount as she wasn't well off. I didn't work part time at any point throughout my degree. It wasn't for the want of trying, back then most of my friends worked in supermarkets, there wasn't much else around here at that time, I applied to a few but wasn't successful. There aren't always jobs around just when you want one or need one. I did live at home which cut down costs and my grant worked out to around 35 quid a week which paid for travel and books.


What on earth does becoming an adult 18 have to do with anything? There are people in their late 20s and 30s who struggle to find work, both part and full time. Just because this child is over 18 does not mean its going to be particularly easy to fund themselves through uni. However, if they do have a part time job then maybe a conversation is needed about using that to fund uni and leaving the holidays until they graduate with a better job.

I think this is more about the debts of the family than this child being 24 to be honest. There isn't enough detail in the opening post. Certainly not enough for people to advise on the best course of action.

The OP has also not said whether they live at home or away from home when attending uni. Oh and unless this is their final year, if they had started sooner, you would be paying more to support them, because if they are still a student next year you won't have to fund them to this extent as they will be over 25.

Red-Squirrel_2

annandale wrote: »

What on earth does becoming an adult 18 have to do with anything?

Well, to me it means that the government shouldn't be treating them like children and assuming that their parents will still provide for them after that age!

ska_lover

foolofbeans wrote: »

I have a child at university. Due to various issues (not particularly their fault) they started university a bit later and will soon be 25.
We have been submitting our income details to student finance and due to our income level our child's student loan amount is reduced. I found out recently that once a student is 25 they automatically qualify as an independent student and their loan amount is calculated on their income, not their parents.
Sadly it turns out that child turns 25 one week after the qualifying date and so we will have to declare our income to student finance again.
Here is my dilemma.....
We have a good income but we also have a lot of debt and live in one of the most expensive parts of the country. I have always told the children we would support them while they are in education and I guess the government expects that we will contribute the reduced amount of student loan.
But frankly I really begrudge having to subsidise a 25 year old. I feel like we have assisted a lot already and it has impacted on the things we can afford for our other children and I was hoping we were done with it.
They have worked throughout university and have worked hard during summer holidays. However, child has also managed to have a holiday every year, attend festivals and regularly buy stuff.

I am really torn .... I'm considering telling my child we can no longer financially assist but that may cause them hardship. There is an expectation from the govt that we will assist but should a parent have to fund a 25 year old.

I'd love to hear some views on how we should approach this.

Talk about pulling the rug..

You have previously told your adult offspring that you will support through education, and now the crunch has come, you are looking for a way to back out - pretty much sums this scenario up

To be honest, it sounds a bit off to me to do this, as they have likely made life choices based on these promises.

The part where you say ''I was hoping we were done with it'' sounds really resentful.

I can't see how you can pull the financing now, and keep your integrity - you shouldn't make important promises that you don't want to keep

foolofbeans

maman wrote: »

To me the fact this child is almost 25 is irksome but irrelevant. If s/he was 18 the same logic would apply but for all three years.
I don't think age is irrelevant. I can understand parents financially assisting an 18 year old but I don't think most parents expect to fund a 25 year old.
The government do expect parents to make up the difference but obviously they can't be forced to.
They can't be forced to but the expectation is high and as seen from this thread most people expect it too.

foolofbeans

Mojisola wrote: »

It sounds as if you're so annoyed at the government rule about 25 year olds that you're going to take it out on your child!

I think you are right. I am annoyed at the expectation I should fund a 25 year old.
I am annoyed that we have a good income but our individual circumstances are taken into account. Rental prices in this area are double what we used to pay in another county - none of this is taken into account for student finance. We have more than the average number of children but this is not taken into account, we are still expected to fund one child at the detriment of the others.

We have a high income so the only benefit we receive is child benefit. No help with rental costs which could equate to a third of our income.
We live in a rural area so have to run two cars, there is no public transport. This comes at a cost. Our household fuel costs are a lot higher than most as we don't have mains gas.
We get no help with childcare costs so any earnings can be reduced greatly when we have to pay for childcare. None of this is taken into account by student finance.

We weren't given any warning that we would have to subsidise our child through uni and I guess that is naivety on our part. We have a debt problem and that is our fault alone but when you are trying to budget and have £90 a month taken out to support one child it is unfair on the other children who don't attend any clubs or activities because we just do't have any spare money to pay for it.

foolofbeans

Just to answer a few questions:
Child has worked throughout uni, luckily their course allows them to be able to work a few hours each week. They live away from home to attend uni.
The loan reduction due to our income equates to about £20 per week in term-time. It's not much but it is when every penny is spoken for.
We have subsidised for three years and this is the final year we will have to do it.
I agree with posters that say it would be unfair to pull funding now. I suppose I got excited at not having to do so when I heard about the 'independent student' status at 25 and then felt frustrated when I realised we missed out because child was born a week too late! A few friends and family members find it incredulous that we still give our 24 year old money but I would worry that withdrawal of that funding may mean the difference between eating properly. Child does manage to have nights out while at uni and I don't begrudge that they have fun but it is difficult not to feel upset when we can't afford to do the same.
In summary, we shall fund this last year but I will speak to our child to say that if they return home after their course we can no longer assist with funding their lifestyle so they will have to pay board and we can no longer 'lend' money that is never paid back.
Thank you all for your frank views.

Savvy_Sue

maman wrote: »

I suppose OP could say to the child something along the lines of: 'I know we promised to support you through university but we've changed our minds. We've made such a mess of our own budgeting that we're in debt but we've noticed you're rather good at stretching your money as you've enough left over for holidays. So because of this we've decided that you could easily manage on less so we're going to stop your allowance and keep the money to pay off our debts. OK?'

you could have a much 'gentler' conversation about it however.

When DS1 went off to Uni, our parental contribution was supposed to be £1000. We just didn't have that money. I asked if he actually needed it (he'd been working and saving, wasn't a big spender) and he said he was fine. I told him if he WAS in financial need, to tell us and we'd work something out.

It would obviously have been more difficult to do that after three years of giving him that £1000, but I'd say a conversation can and should take place if necessary.