any housewives out there?

Red-Squirrel_2

just_trying wrote: »

I think it's sad that people choose to have children and then return to work when they're still babies and yes let others bring up there children.

When you say people do you actually mean women? Because men do that literally all the time.

just_trying

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

When you say people do you actually mean women? Because men do that literally all the time.

No, I mean people. As in either of the parents. Be that male or female. Happy.

You can try and nit pick when I give my opinion, I never mentioned gender only you did.

Red-Squirrel_2

just_trying wrote: »

No, I mean people. As in either of the parents. Be that male or female. Happy.

You can try and nit pick when I give my opinion, I never mentioned gender only you did.

Its just that, from your comment, you are saddened by the actions of practically every father in the country. Which seems odd.

just_trying

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Its just that, from your comment, you are saddened by the actions of practically every father in the country. Which seems odd.

No, I think its sad people choose to have children and put them in child care for long hours. You seem obseseed with gender. First your saying I mean mothers now fathers. I said people as now, children can have 2 mums, 2 dad's, a mum and dad, a mum no dad, it goes on who have chosen to have a child is that clearer for you. People like I said no reference to gender do you comprehend.

just_trying

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Its just that, from your comment, you are saddened by the actions of practically every father in the country. Which seems odd.

Why is it odd I think people who choose to have children, then when the children are still babies put them into child care is sad. They made a choice to have children and then let someone else care for there children a lot of hours, many from 7 -5.30. Why have children in the first place. That's someone else bringing up your child. If you believe everything the nursery tells you when you pick up your child then your delusional.

ska_lover

Ironic when people call others rude, when they are as bad themselves.

FBaby

These threads always go the same!

It makes me laugh when SAHMs make statements about the sadness of parents opting for their kids to be brought up by childcare workers when so many acknowledge they can't wait for their entitlement to free childcare for all!

There are amazing sahm there but also amazing childcare providers to. I have no shame in saying that my kids nursery were able to provide the level of stimulation my kids desperately needed I would have been able to provide as well. It didn't stop me from getting up each night when my kids woke up crying nor stop me from spending a lot of time reading them bedtime stories after bedtime stories because it was a special bonding time.

Nursery care or childminders are not punishment for kids. Most love going and build special bonds. I think there is a lot of projection that because mum wants to be at home with her kids her kids are bound to prefer this too!

Red-Squirrel_2

just_trying wrote: »

Why is it odd I think people who choose to have children, then when the children are still babies put them into child care is sad. They made a choice to have children and then let someone else care for there children a lot of hours, many from 7 -5.30. Why have children in the first place. That's someone else bringing up your child. If you believe everything the nursery tells you when you pick up your child then your delusional.

So both parents should go part time to share the parenting and still bring in some money?

That’s not a terrible idea for the first few years, rarely happens though.

happyandcontented

I think as mothers/fathers we are very defensive about paid for childcare.

For me, seeing the calibre of a lot ( note, by no means all, but a good proportion) of childcare students first hand has validated my feeling that although nurseries do their best that best is often not as good as it should be despite their OFSTED rating. These students all get jobs in the childcare industry because there is a shortage of trained people, but often the requested references are at the basic legal minimum because the college actually doesn't want to endorse them.

My feeling was that preschool my own children would be better served by being with a parent than in a child care setting. Nothing I have seen since has made me doubt that decision. I was fortunate to have that choice, but I think that if others are saying that they believe that their childcare provider can do a better job than they can that is quite sad.

If I had had to choose childcare I would have looked for the best that was in my area, but, I would have accepted that whilst it might provide; stimulus, socialisation and education (all of which we as parents/grandparents could provide) it could not provide the same level of bonded and loving nurturing that being at home would have given.

FBaby

But who say that 24h hour bonding and nurturing is what is forcibly best? Is a toddler better with a mum who find it such a chore to raise her kids she thinks she should be paid for it rather than being at an excellent nursery with a key worker who chose the job because she loves kids?

My DS had a key worker who only looked after him and two other kids but only there PT so almost always only looking after two kids which is no different to many mums. She adored my DS and showed him a lot of care. He was a poor sleeper so she rocked him for his nap for months.

Do you think you could pick a classroom of 30 14yo and tell with certainty those who were at home with their mum until starting school compared to those who went to childcare from the age of one? I very much doubt it.