any housewives out there?

ska_lover

fred246 wrote: »

I certainly never met a female member of staff who said she would rather work than be at home.

I would rather be at home too, if I had to work alongside you, tbh

fred246

We used to have some interesting discussions about sharing the housework. Some women used to say that I should work from 7am to 7pm then go home and cook the dinner, do the washing, and then clean the house but most accepted that if my wife wasn't working then it was reasonable for her to do the housework. My wife's best friend was also a stay at home mum but she used to wait for her husband to get home from work to cook the dinner. She also employed a cleaner but she kept that secret from her husband and I was forbidden from telling him.

FBaby

This is my experience too Fred. I've never worked with a man or a woman who have said that ignoring the issue of money, they would rather work then not.

Saying that, I do agree that there is a misguided view on this. I'm convinced that being a SAHP, unless again, looking after 3 children + is easier overall (not easy, easier) than working in a demanding job. However, easy vs not so easy is not the only factor that matters and I am pretty sure that past a few months, I would miss the mental stimulation that comes with work.

This is why many mums and when possible dads opt for PT, you get the best of both worlds.

The reality is that you can't define a worker nor a SAHP. Some jobs are rewarding, not too demanding or stressful and genuinely enjoyable. Others are stressful, exhausting and boring.

Some housewives are super efficient, will find ways to do everything organised so that they are indeed left with plenty of relaxing fun time, others will stress themselves out deciding which cleaning products to buy.

Looking after two children at school is also very different to looking after 4, like my friend who had one 3yo, one 2yo, and then got pregnant again 'by mistake', and gave birth to twins. I wouldn't have exchanged my demanding job with her, that is until all her children were at school and the demand of my job multiplied by two!

peachyprice

fred246 wrote: »

. Very few people seem to want to work when they don't need to although there certainly are a few. I certainly never met a female member of staff who said she would rather work than be at home.

FBaby wrote: »

This is my experience too Fred. I've never worked with a man or a woman who have said that ignoring the issue of money, they would rather work then not.

I'll put my hand up here then.

I would have gone insane staying at home being a housewife and mother with nothing better to do with my brain other than cooking cleaning and looking after 3 children.

I don't need to work at all now, my youngest is 17, but what on earth would I do all day kicking around the house? There will be plenty of time for that when I'm retired, at least my husband will be home then too.

fred246

My wife chose not to work. If she had carried on I would have worked around that. She spent a lot of time reading about parenting and gave the children a great start to their education. She didn't stand over them with numbers or shout at them for not knowing the alphabet. She just talked to them for hours about everything. When I went to my colleague's house she had worked a full day and had come home to cook a dinner. She was so stressed. I had never seen my wife like that. I was quite shocked. I felt sorry for her and her children.

happyandcontented

peachyprice wrote: »

I'll out my hand up here then.

I would have gone insane staying at home being a housewife and mother with nothing better to do with my brain other than cooking cleaning and looking after 3 children.

I don't need to work at all now, my youngest is 17, but what on earth would I do all day kicking around the house? There will be plenty of time for that when I'm retired, at least my husband will be home then too.

I am in that position too, but still only work term time and tbh after the first 4 weeks or so of summer holiday I am ready to go back! Then, after 2/3 weeks back I am wishing the next holiday here!

I daydream about cutting my hours ( they won't let me!) but then I wonder if I would end up like my neighbour who has never worked outside the home and just watches a lot of daytime tv. Her house is immaculate and she is always perfectly groomed but she must be bored rigid day after day.

This is a very different stage to having small preschool children and an aged parent and, like you, I think that as my husband is still working I may as well carry on for another couple of years till we are ready for early retirement together. If the fates allow!

tooldle

I work because i want to, not because i need to. I too would go barmy if all i had to occupy my time was housework. Reflecting back on my own childhood, i can see how much easier housework now is. Back in the day, my mum handwashed everything, cleaned the carpets with a dustpan and brush, and dealt with coal fires (the only heating in the house). She also made all our clothes and knitwear. We had an allotment for growing food. There was no fridge or freezer, or indeed car. Shopping was done daily, either on foot or by bus. Add in that when at infant school there were no school dinners. All kids went home for lunch and were taken back in time for the afternoon session. I can see how things took so much more time. That said i clearly remember on summer evenings, we all went for a walk after tea, and parents often sat and read library books of an evening. Even in those days being a housewife was not a 24/7 job.
We have a lot of labour saving options now. We also have mote opportunities in that women who want to work or have a career can. Gone are the days of bring sacked on marriage or first pregnancy. Why would anyone not want to grab the opportunities that life offers?

getmore4less

FBaby wrote: »

This is my experience too Fred. I've never worked with a man or a woman who have said that ignoring the issue of money, they would rather work then not.

known a few that actually like their work and think of it like a hobby so just keep doing it.

when you can just walk and the company know it the relationship can be very good.

Some of them are still working and these people are over 50 some into 60 and could have given up 15 years ago houses paid for and loads in the bank.

One finished this year and is now dead.


but that's not what this post is about it more about these useless house people that claim it takes all day to look after a house and a couple of kids and they need paying for it

Someone said they spend 1hr a day doing laundry, it takes a couple of minutes to load and another couple to unload(through washer/dryer), sorting each load and putting away 5mins that's 6 loads a day 5 days a week lest be generous and only count 5 loads a day.

100 every 4 weeks

I have enough clothes to last longer than 4 weeks and that is 3 loads for me
I pick a day I am in for the time it takes the washer and dryer to do their thing doing other stuff while the machines do the work.

I can do 2 persons for a month in a day, another 2 days should see even the messiest 2 kids done that's 18 loads

2 loads a week for bedding and 2 for towels and 2 other stuff.

throw in another 2 loads for some sports gear.

We are at 50 loads for the 4 weeks

(most would do mixed loads rather than save up a month worth but it will be the same number of full loads)

What on earth is going in the other 50 loads?

MrsStepford

I don't work but I am hoping to get a blog off the ground and monetise it.

We don't have kids. I wish I could say that our house is spotless but much of it is undergoing DIY, some of which I do. I've been to college full and part time and to uni. I had two allotments when we lived in a village. I do some of the cooking (husband likes to cook by himself to unwind). I do the gardening and shopping.

Husband is often away and then I feel a bit lonely.

Middle class families sometimes have au pairs or mother's helps and upper class parents sometimes have nannies and other staff. There is an argument for saying that if you tot up all the after school care and babysitting costs, it could be cheaper to have a good au pair who will at least help clean the house, pick kids up from school, muck in with cooking and babysit the kids while the parents go out to the cinema etc.

I loathe housework but my husband, being working class doesn;t think we should have a cleaner. If my blog gets off the ground then I'll pay for one.

just_trying

getmore4less wrote: »

known a few that actually like their work and think of it like a hobby so just keep doing it.

when you can just walk and the company know it the relationship can be very good.

Some of them are still working and these people are over 50 some into 60 and could have given up 15 years ago houses paid for and loads in the bank.

One finished this year and is now dead.


but that's not what this post is about it more about these useless house people that claim it takes all day to look after a house and a couple of kids and they need paying for it

Someone said they spend 1hr a day doing laundry, it takes a couple of minutes to load and another couple to unload(through washer/dryer), sorting each load and putting away 5mins that's 6 loads a day 5 days a week lest be generous and only count 5 loads a day.

100 every 4 weeks

I have enough clothes to last longer than 4 weeks and that is 3 loads for me
I pick a day I am in for the time it takes the washer and dryer to do their thing doing other stuff while the machines do the work.

I can do 2 persons for a month in a day, another 2 days should see even the messiest 2 kids done that's 18 loads

2 loads a week for bedding and 2 for towels and 2 other stuff.

throw in another 2 loads for some sports gear.

We are at 50 loads for the 4 weeks

(most would do mixed loads rather than save up a month worth but it will be the same number of full loads)

What on earth is going in the other 50 loads?

Your post is rude, "these useless house people that claim it takes all day to look after house and a couple of kids and they need paying for it".

From what I've read off the thread, they've not said they need "paying" for it. They have said a decision was made to stay at home. Well done you, you can do your washing and put it away quickly. Families do quite often seem to have washing that seems to multiply when you think it's the last load and not everyone uses a tumble dryer.

I think it's sad that people choose to have children and then return to work when they're still babies and yes let others bring up there children. There spending the majority of there time in child care. There can be times where things happen and there's no option but to choose that, why have children. Some have even said they would be bored, what of looking after your own children and trying to keep the home organised. It's not a easy task. It can be a lonely thankless task, not everyone has friends or goes to child groups.

Well done to the mums/dads who do work when there children are at school and organise everything.

I just think calling a group of people useless, is wrong and no they don't need paying. They haven't said they do. Some have made reference to how much it could cost, for tasks done by others.