any housewives out there?

DigForVictory

My husband is the stay at home parent. I work full time, mostly as I entered the work place sooner & had a better paid job at the time I was pregnant - so he applied for & got, first a career break then part time term time work - and redundancy when the office was closed.

It works for us. I absolutely get it may not work (or even seem reasonable) to others, but my tombstone will have "it worked for us" chiseled in...

fibonarchie

FBaby wrote: »

Everytime this issue is discussed, someone comes to say they had to give up their job because of their travelling partner. Very few working men travelled abroad for their job, most only work 1h or less from their home, so it really doesn't explain the most common reason for women to give up their job and stay at home.

If women genuinely believe they deserve to be paid for the jobs they do at home, then maybe they should also consider what comes with a paid job... that is accepting that even if they get no sleep at all because of a screaming baby all night, there is no option for doing the job later or another day. They will specific timescales by which the job needs to be completed. They will have to accept working within specific parameters they might not agree to and accept that their job is inspected. They will have to shut up when they are told that the cleaning has not been done to standard, even if they sweated over it and think it is spotless. Then when they invite friends over and friends compliment on how clean her house his, she will have to keep quite and smile when her husband takes all the credit!

That's what it's like in the real world, and what the pay makes up for.

How arrogant and patronising!

OTOH You can leave your paid job behind, whereas looking after the home, the husband and the children (when done properly) is pretty much 24/7 and you can't just throw a sickie, like people often do 'at work'. Nor do you get holidays. Nor do you get a union rep. And so on and so on..

Not everyone is cut out for domesticity, though, and those who aren't are maybe better off delegating childcare responsibilities to others and getting on with some paid job or other.

fibonarchie

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

My best friend and his gf have both just given up their jobs as teachers (they discovered you had zero work/life balance and it was costing them a fortune in childcare), his gf has now got a new job and in the meantime my friend will be a stay at home dad for the 3 year old and 18month year old.

Yes I know quite a few teachers, - not one of them recommends it as a profession.

maman

fibonarchie wrote: »

How arrogant and patronising!

OTOH You can leave your paid job behind, whereas looking after the home, the husband and the children (when done properly) is pretty much 24/7 and you can't just throw a sickie, like people often do 'at work'. Nor do you get holidays. Nor do you get a union rep. And so on and so on..

Not everyone is cut out for domesticity, though, and those who aren't are maybe better off delegating childcare responsibilities to others and getting on with some paid job or other.

IMO that's absolute nonsense.


With certain caveats (disabilities etc), then there is no way it's necessary to spend 24 hours a day being a housewife unless you're either hopelessly disorganised or you get some sort of enjoyment from proverbially tying yourself to the kitchen sink.


I was about to respond to an earlier post you made when I remembered that we were having an earlier dinner tonight.


Your concept of being a housewife is outdated and doesn't seem to take account of all the time saving equipment that we have today.


To use tonight's example: I took a HM casserole from the freezer (made in SC and portioned up some weeks ago), put it in the microwave, peeled some potatoes and carrots. While they were cooking I put a wash load on the line and emptied the dishwasher. Then I did some green veg to cook while I was mashing the potatoes. We were sitting down (having laid the table meanwhile) and eating within less than an hour. I've also prepared enough veg to do bubble & squeak for tomorrow's lunch.


In my grandmother's day she'd have had to shop almost daily for ingredients (no fridge or freezer), walk to the shops or go on the bus (as she couldn't drive or do internet shopping). She'd have had to start handwashing the clothes and bleach and starch them (no washing machine and no easy care fabrics or tumble drier) and when her meal was cooked (taking much longer as it was all from scratch on the day) she'd have had to wash all the dishes by hand and dry them.


I appreciate what some posters are saying about horses for courses but to suggest that being a housewife is a 24/7 job in 2018 is ludicrous. IMO of course.;)

System

fibonarchie wrote: »

Yes I know quite a few teachers, - not one of them recommends it as a profession.

They found they were working all evening and all weekends, they weren't getting enough time with the kids or each other, and they became disallusioned with it very quickly. Hats off to anyone who can hack it because i sure as hell couldn't!

FBaby

Fibonarchie unless you have 5 kids and a OH who doesn't lift a finger then you clearly have an issue with managing your time if looking after the house and children is a 24/7 day for you.

Like many I work FT and besides childcare have to fit in everything else you do during your 24h. I manage it fine most of the time. House is clean, garden well tendered, paperwork up to date enough food in the fridge and cupboards and although often knackered I'm still able to fit in going out with friends and doing sport.

I genuinely can't understand how a housewife couldn't be left with plenty of free time (unless with 4 children not yet at school).

maman

I'm beginning to think that fibonarchie is living up to the name.:D

FBaby wrote: »

I genuinely can't understand how a housewife couldn't be left with plenty of free time (unless with 4 children not yet at school).

But that's a choice in itself.;)

Fireflyaway

I'm not sure it's affordable for many people these days. I'm all for equal rights for women but it's got to the stage where many woman don't have a choice. They have to work as one income isn't enough to live on.
Back in the day with no fridges, hoovers , dish washers or washing machines it probably was a full time job.
Recently I had a month off work. The house was so much cleaner and I enjoyed being at home but it didn't take all day. If it were permanent I'd have to volunteer or something or I'd get bored.

Red-Squirrel_2

fibonarchie wrote: »

How arrogant and patronising!

OTOH You can leave your paid job behind, whereas looking after the home, the husband and the children (when done properly) is pretty much 24/7 and you can't just throw a sickie, like people often do 'at work'. Nor do you get holidays. Nor do you get a union rep. And so on and so on..

Not everyone is cut out for domesticity, though, and those who aren't are maybe better off delegating childcare responsibilities to others and getting on with some paid job or other.

Um, you do realise working parents can't 'throw a sickie' or get a holiday from parenthood either, don't you?

jackieblack

JWM wrote: »

I don't find it offensive, merely ill-informed and rather sad to be honest.

You clearly have a massive chip on your shoulder about 'working mothers'. Time to educate yourself rather than continue to come out with this nonsense.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Oh how little you know...