Being a mature student, a very skint one..

JLS1901

Had a quiet few days really, had my first counselling appointment at uni yesterday. Felt great just to get things off my chest and work out where the anxiety is coming from. I had a panic attack at work on Tuesday the first in my life, I honestly thought I was having a heart attack.

The lady was great at pointing out the pressure I put on myself and the negative voice in my head and how good it is at making me feel rubbish. She said there is definitely things we can work on which is good.

Can't decide if to withdraw from the bank porter interview or not, it's 50 mins drive each way and will be awful in bad weather. Plus the cost of fuel it doesn't seem worth it.

Think I'm just going to keep plodding on with the supermarket job for now and keep an eye out for other things that might come along.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Welly x

Student_Mrs

Hi Welly! Just found your post looking for diaries for inspiration and we both share the same year of birth I'll be 30 next month and as a now divorced single parent who started her Masters 6 weeks after her husband left, I get the feeling of everyone else getting married and buying houses and having abbies and seemingly having no debt while I am still working out life! But I love the job I qualified to do, and I'm inspired by how hard you're working to sort out your future and considering debt repayments whilst studying as it would be easy not to think about those til graduation. I got signed off work for the first time ever while in the 2nd and final year of my Masters and though it meant I had to claim benefits and I feel like I will never be off them, it was such a blessing to enable me to focus fully on the course, placements and my son as I thought about being able to work past graduation, not just to the point of exhaustion - hope that makes sense, I'm a little tired tonight! Keep on keeping on. Have you read any of 'The Blurt Foundation' website? They have some great tips for mental health in their blogs.

JLS1901

Student_Mrs wrote: »

Hi Welly! Just found your post looking for diaries for inspiration and we both share the same year of birth I'll be 30 next month and as a now divorced single parent who started her Masters 6 weeks after her husband left, I get the feeling of everyone else getting married and buying houses and having abbies and seemingly having no debt while I am still working out life! But I love the job I qualified to do, and I'm inspired by how hard you're working to sort out your future and considering debt repayments whilst studying as it would be easy not to think about those til graduation. I got signed off work for the first time ever while in the 2nd and final year of my Masters and though it meant I had to claim benefits and I feel like I will never be off them, it was such a blessing to enable me to focus fully on the course, placements and my son as I thought about being able to work past graduation, not just to the point of exhaustion - hope that makes sense, I'm a little tired tonight! Keep on keeping on. Have you read any of 'The Blurt Foundation' website? They have some great tips for mental health in their blogs.

Hello Student_Mrs thanks for stopping by!

I'm 30 today, not doing anything too exciting tho.. just revising for an exam and I'm doing a shift at work later!

It's hard not to feel like your bumbling along whilst all these other people having it seemingly worked out! I know it will be worth it tho I'm passionate about what I want to do!

I do seem to struggle fitting it all in and working as well but I kind of worry about money and work whilst I'm at uni then the other way round when I'm at work. I'm much like my mother a worrier so I worry about everything! I want to be out of debt so when I qualify I can jump straight into working and saving! but if I have to just tread water to get through I will!

No I haven't seen the blurt website I will have a look!!


Welly x

JLS1901

Nothing much to report.. it's a bank holiday but I'm off to work in a bit. I'm not feeling very good got terrible period pains. If I'd been in the job longer I'd probably have called in sick but still in probation.

Got 2 exams this week then 2 CPD weeks then that's it uni will be done. Then I'm moving so need to get sorted with that.

Welly x

GlendaSugarbean

Good luck with the last two weeks and the move

kikkime

Hello!

Having completed my 1yr intensive MSc studies not too long ago while working part time waitressing (at a terribly managed place) because I need the money to live debt-free, I understand! As an international student with student visa, I often find myself trying to maximize the total amount of working hours (restricted to 20hours per week by law) and constantly standing in for people just to earn a few more bucks. I managed to get about £3.6k in 9months, sometimes I'm being taxed as I've earned over the threshold for the week urgh.

I graduated with distinction, but lost a relationship and a great deal more. Truth be told, I didn't cope as well as I thought. I've just been dragging my zombified self to plough on. Don't be like me, I "made it" but the journey wasn't a pleasant one, and now I can certainly tell you, if I could go back and change things I definitely would. But then again, I really needed the £3.6k.

Take care of yourself, and try to stay positive. Hang in there!

JLS1901

So I've just read my diaries back right from my first post on here from 2016. I think it's true that I don't give myself enough credit for things. I walked away from a situation with nothing but ended up with a job I loved and a place I loved living!
Now here I am having finished the first year of my degree chasing the dream career that I've always wanted, I'm having counselling to get over past events and learning how to manage my thinking styles. I have a partner who absolutely thinks the world of me and I'm excited for the future.

Yes I'm still in debt probably more so than ever but I feel now at a point mentally where I can tackle it. I'm still trying to lose weight but keep plodding on.

I've given up fizzy drinks and subsequently have been in bed all day with a migrane but it will be worth it both financially (£2 a day for a big can of red bull which is shocking) and of course I'm hoping weight and health wise too! As well as losing a few pounds I'm hoping it will help with my anxiety too.

Job is going ok, just keep going an plodding through the shifts. Going to be doing more hours in a few weeks hoping this will be more beneficial as I will be more aware of what needs doing and feel more confident with what I'm doing. Also the money is much needed.

Applied for lion bridge a few weeks ago am waiting to hear back from them that would be ideal to fit in around the supermarket job. OH and I seem to both be on the same page with the finances so we can save up and hopefully rent a farm of our own (where he lives now belongs to his parents - whole other story) so hopefully we can help each other along the way and smash our debts

Hope your all enjoying the sunshine!

Welly x

JLS1901

Hello everyone hope your ok.

Having a bit of a panic, this last week we were introduced to some modules for next year. Save to say it's going to be insanely intense. We spoke to some second years who have said it gets much harder and there's much more work to do, panicking about how I will fit work in with it all.

Speaking of work I'm still getting anxious about it, particularly tomorrow as I'm being expected to shut down on my own when I've only done 2 evening shifts so safe to say that will be fun. Also dreading being there more hours over summer but needs must.

Feeling pretty down about everything again if I'm honest I just feel useless, this anxiety is awful I don't know why it bothers me so much.

Going to work out my bills for the next few months and see what's what.

Welly x

JLS1901

Google isn't always right!

So I got my payslip earlier. Thought I'd look as need to do a budget later. See at the top AOE -£41.. hmm whats that?

Google - AOE on payslip.

Que hundreds of forum replies and debt charities explaining what an attachment of earnings order is.

WHAT

What? I don't owe anyone money apart from the debt I'm paying. Why haven't I heard anything?

I've had no letters?!

It's almost 5.30 payroll/HR will be closed. It's a long wait till Tuesday...

Then comes the sick feeling, I hate owing money, even more so when I have no idea. Was it something from my old flat??

I then decided to have a quick look at my handbook from work, maybe that will confirm my fears.

Que the idiot feeling. AOE - Absence at own expense.
The time I had off to go to Scotland to see my pal, feeling rather sheepish now more so that I forgot I took a shift off!

In my defence I've been packing like a mad woman as I'm moving in the next few days... I still don't know how I've acquired so much stuff!!

Moral of the story google isn't always right!

Have a good weekend.

Welly x

JLS1901

Feeling rather down about things. Just feel like I'm doing loads but getting no where.

I've finished uni for the year and very happy with my average grade for the year. I moved in with my OH yesterday, I spent all day unpacking my things.

Back to work this afternoon, doing extra hours still not enjoying it but do what you have to do. My back is hurting again and being stood on a hard floor for hours doesn't help it at all. Need to change doctors and get an appointment with a physio.

Just plodding along existing really. Exhausted.

Welly x