Age gaps between kids

michelefauk

Hi
Just read your post with interest. My children are 16, 13 1/2 and 3. (girl, boy, girl) The elder two have been fantastic with their little sister, and adored her from day one so much so that if I say no to her, she goes to them as they will say yes! They do loads with her, and it is great to have a built in babysitter, not that we go out much but if I need to pop to the shop for a pint of milk, it is great knowing I can safely leave them all home for 10 minutes without having to drag everyone out in the cold.

The oldest 2 were good together when they were little, dont get on so well now but show me a 16 yr old girl and a 13 yr old boy who get on! I was a single parent for 9 yrs with my eldest two as I split with their father when pregnant with No 2, and they have been the most fantastic children I could wish for, the best. I often say how lucky I am to have had those 9 years with just the 3 of us, as we are very close. They didnt resent their sister being born either, loved her from the start

It was hard being pregnant again (with number 3) as a lot had changed in the 10 yrs, and I had a tough birth, but then I had a tough birth with number 1 and I was only 23 when she was born, so dont think it was my age. Hard getting used to sleepless nights again, to be honest, and hard getting used to trying to get out of the door with a baby, I was used to saying "Right , kids, in the car" and now it was a case of getting bags packed, bottles made, nappy changes, etc. But she is an absolute joy, talks so well and is very bright, my health visitor says because she has so much attention from 4 "adults". I would like another one as sometimes I feel she is an only child, as the other two are getting older and doing their own thing more, but OH is adamant no more, so thats that!

kr15snw

Im 20 and my brothers are 29 and 34. And we get along fine The oldest has always been like a second dad to me and always looked out for me.

I act alot older than I am and so me and the middle one are like friends and have same sense of humour / tastes etc.

Having older brothers though has made me more mature and responsible as Ive seen them growing up, and obviously wanted to fit in. This probably is the reason why my best friend is 30 and my boyfriend is 34. I dont see myself as a 20 year old!

But yeah, did me no harm. Actually I think it did me the world of good

kathy206

My youngest is 8 yrs younger than my eldest. I think there are plusses and minuses on both fronts. DS2 is now 16 months old and into EVERYTHING we've renamed him spidey cos he climbs everywhere:rotfl: I couldn't imagine having a newborn and dealing with him as well:eek: My DS1 is fantastic with DS2 however he does tend to be a bit heavy handed with him sometimes (he's only 9) and bless him he tries to help loads, however having had us to himself for the best part of 8 yrs I fear he finds it difficult to understand and appreciate the impact of a smaller person to his life sometimes, no matter how much we try and explain, he doesn't quite grasp that cos his LB is still so young our lives are a bit more restricted than before. However life is good and they both adore one another.:A BTW there are 3 yrs between me and my sister then another 3 yrs between her and my youngest sister and we got on fine (most of the time:p )

modgit

My sons were 8 1/2 and 5 1/2 when their brother arrived last December. I planned to have 3 children and a bigger gap between DS2 and DS3 than DS1 and DS2, as I honestly don't think I could have coped with 3 under 6.

The elder 2 have been fantastic, enjoying the "firsts" - smile, tooth, word etc as much as we have. They are incredibly patient with him, and also are old enough to help out. However, after school activities and a newborn is quite difficult, and DH often had no tea ready to start with, by the time I'd done the school run, then football / orchestra/whatever, then fed baby, he was in from work!! I suppose if you're organised (I'm not!!) then you can cope better. On the other hand having to do the school run does give your day some structure and you make the effort to get up and out!

I was concerned about going back to nappies, weaning etc, but it's so much easier this time, you have the experience from your others, but as they're at school, it's like having your first again.

There are times when I think I'd like another:eek: but as DH turned 40 last week and I'm not too far behind, 3 will suit me fine.

blackwidowz

I have 3 children aged 17,16 and 6 so i have a small gap of 17 months and a large gap of 10 years. It has been fine leaving it 10 years plus the older 2 are old enough to babysit now. They get on with my younger son brilliant.
I see nothing wrong in a large gap.

Penny_Watcher

My kids are 25 *faints at the reality of being a parent to a 25 year old :eek:*, 13 and 10.

The closest relationship is between DD1(25) and DS1(13). She dotes on the boy and he thinks she's wonderful. DD1 thought that she wouldn't ever have any brothers or sisters, so when OH came into our life - closely followed by DS1 - DD1 was over the moon. She involved herself in every aspect of his care and keeping when he was little. It was lovely to have a little helper.

The gap between DS1 and DD2 was the more 'conventional' 2.5 years. It's the usual story here. She's rude to him and he hates her :cool: .

"Muuuuum! [DS1] has gone into my bedroom and I didn't give him permission."

"Muuuum! [DD2] has nicked my remote control".

KIDS!!!!! And you're thinking about having another one?????? :rotfl:

loobylou2

I have 3 children, a 10 year pld boy, an 8 year old girl and a girl who is almost 2. I would say that its easier having a large gap than a small one because that has certainly been my experience. I think I"ve coped better 3rd time around mainly because I"m that bit older, I was 37 when my youngest daughter was born and more established in my job and home life. Also money isn"t so tight. My elder children adore their younger sister although my older girl did react quite badly when she was born even though I'd spent lots of time trying to prepare her for the fact that she would no longer be the youngest in the family. She became very withdrawn and quiet at school but very badly behaved at home, In fact the behaviour she reverted to was almost toddler like as I think she found it hard to come to terms with the fact that she would no longer always be the centre of attention. I think the trick is to make sure that you try to spend time with each of your children individually, although in my case that often just mean"t taking my elder daughter to the supermarket on her own with me. Also, I enlisted the support of her school which was a big help as well as her teachers were able to discuss the implications and responsibilities of being a big sister with her and thankfully over the last year her behaviour has calmed down and she is now behaving much more like an 8 year old than a toddler.

I"d say go for it because I know that I will never regret going ahead with my pregnancy , I am so glad I had my daughter even though so many people advised me against continuing with the pregnancy and one "kind" relative even offered to pay for me to have a termination. Our daughter has brought so much extra joy and happiness to all our lives even though shes now at the stage where she is permanently getting into mischief and we wouldn"t be without her for a second.!!!

dorry_2

I have an 11 year gap between ds1 and ds2. It worked brilliantly, they never faught or argued, but played together really well, both love computer games and still play each other now. ds1 now 22, ds2 now 11.

hth

seven-day-weekend

My sisters were 19 and 16 when I was born, in fact the eldest got married the same year. The other sister lived at home until I was eight and was always buying me things. I became an aunt at eighteen months old and a great-aunt at 21.

It was like being an only child, after the second sister got married I didn't even have to share my room. I loved it.

It meant my parents were older (in their 40s when i was born - I was adopted), but it never bothered me in the slightest. They didn't act old. They both lived to ripe old ages - my mum only died in 2001 aged nearly 94.

My eldest sister died last year aged 75, she had had Alzheimers Disease for 20 years.

My other sister has been to see me here in Spain with her son and my brother-in-law (my deceased sister's husband) is visiting on Tuesday with his daughter. He is 78.

Sorry, this has got long and rambling but just wanted to say that even a huge age gap doesn't have to be detrimental and can in fact have loads of positives.