Age gaps between kids

VeryTrying_2

Kelinik wrote: »

Sorry it annoyed you but if you re-read what I wrote I said in my family its generally accepted that big gaps are a bad thing.

You're right. I originally read it the same way as Patchwork Cat, but then decided I'd misunderstood you in my eagerness to take offence!

Is your husband as keen on a third one as you are? If not, think again. Friends of mine have just separated and they have an 8 year old, six year old, and two year old. The last one was "accidentally" conceived, much to the mother's joy and the father's irritation. Having said he didn't want a third, he felt that the "accident" was just too convenient. From that point things began to fall apart. Great pity for all of them.

buxtonrabbitgreen

I have 5 kids. The eldest is 35 and the youngest 14. Personally I found a really small gap was best. The first 2 were a year apart as were the last 2. But 7 years till the third i found really hard as I had got used to the kids being indekpendent and at school and I suddenly coudn't do stuff anymore. Same with the big gap between 3rd and 4th. I woudn't be without any of them though.

tazz233

There is 7 years between me and my brother and we have always been close- There was never any sibling rivalry as my parents spent the day with my brother, while I was at school, and the evenings with me. I guess I was never jeolous of my brother, as I was old enough to understand the situation and I was excited to be involved in him growing up!

My boyfriend has 17 years between him and his younger brother :eek: His mum was worried about having another child in her early 40s- But he gets so much love from everyone, that he isn't missing out on anything!

Mollymop5

Hi
I have a son 13 and a daughter 5.I agree with the above posts but felt I should add something that I initially had a problem with.My son was 8 when I had my daughter.he was involved in all the scans etc to make him feel part of everything.We'd been trying for years for another baby.As an 8 year old he already had a "social life" eg groups that he attended out of school.I often felt that I had 2 "only children" rather than a family.I had to make a conscious effort to have days that catered for both of them.My daughter loved the soft play areas when she was 3 but my son was too old to go on the equipment, meaning if he did come he had to sit and watch.If we went to the cinema then I needed a babysitter for my youngest.
As they've gotten older these issues aren't as important thankfully

Red_Panda_2

I have 6 years between my 2 boys which I love. By the time my little one come along the big one was old enough to understand what was happening, also he helps out a huge amount and loves playing with his litle brother.
he also understands the little one can take quite a lot if my attention, especially as he has hit the terrible 2's!

There is 11 years between my brother and I and 9 between my sister, so when I was 10 they were off to uni and getting their own places, it was very much like being an only child. We get along well now but we are very different, feels like different generations, we only realy have all our children in common.

mummy_Jay

I have almost 10 years between my sister and myself, I have to say its was like have 2 only children for my parents. My sister took my arrival badly has she had been used to being on her own for 9 years, she left home at 17. I wasn't close to my sister until I got to about 25 but I did idle worship her as a kid. I think if we'd had a sibbling in the middle it would have helped but my sister hasd never been a person to be particularly child friendly when she was younger.

I have to say I have it in my head that about a 4 to 5 year gap is ideal. The problem this brings for me, is I have a 3 year old and only just meet someone, I don't want my boy to be an only child and I don't want him to end up with a 10 year age gap. In my head I need to be sure he is right to spend the rest of my life with and accept my boy. So I see from meeting to the point of being ready to have a kid about 2 years min, so if the guy I've met is Mr right it's already a 5-6 year age gap, or longer. I know things will happen in there own time but I can't help putting pressure on myself, but at least its made me very picky when it comes to men. LOL. Before anyone asked no I don't think I could do another pregnancy on my own, I want the family thing for both my boy and me. -Sorry this is my own personal madness.-

Alikay

I know the 2-3 age gap is usually taken to be best, but our 3 are spaced like that and it's not all it's cracked up to be! No 1 & 2 were fine...girl + boy: No real sibling rivalry, No 1 out of nappies and pushchair and into a bed before becoming a big sister. No 3 is another boy, born almost 3 years later....and the 2 boys have never got on! VERY competitive, and the 3 years have given no 2 the edge with verbal and physical battles so I've had to intervene more than I'd like. Plus No 3 was dragged up and down to school and playgroup with the bigger two, and so the day never revolved around him like with the others...he just had to fit in with the routine.

In some ways it was nice...we went through the different stages all together, but of course now I'm living with 3 teenagers, with me almost 47 & approaching the menopause...things can get pretty hormonal at times in our house!

madison's_mum

Im 28 & my siblings are 26 (g), 25 (g), 23 (g), 18 (b) & 12 (b). My sisters & i all get on really well now but as kids we fought all the time, we were all made up when the now 18yo was born and all helped out. By the time the now 12yo arrived tho we weren't quite so helpful! Plus the oldest 3 of us had moved out by his 3rd bday so we aren't that close to him, he drew a family picture once & forgot my middle sister!
I have a 3 1/5 yo & would LOVE to have another however i have no job at the moment & can't afford one so i will have to wait. My 23yo sister is currently pg with her 3rd, she will have a 23m gap between 1 & 2 & 20m gap between 2 & 3 & she's quite happy with that (apart from now needing to move!)
All families are different & good luck to you if you go for no3.

love2save

There is a 15 year age gap between my daughters. I have a DS 25yrs, DD 22 yrs and the youngest DD 7yrs! (also have Grandsons from DS). It is lovely as my eldest DD takes the youngest out with her many places and they have a great relationship. Although my youngest doesn't have brothers or sisters her own age she had friends and lots of trips out...also she is an Auntie so sees the children regularly but can have her own space too...

mrs_metal

I was 6 1/2 when my brother was born, I absolutely hated him but realised I had to keep that hidden from my parents (I can now as an adult realise it was all jelousy but a 6 year old can't reason that) I was very mean to him, as he was growing up I even made him scared of the dark!

But as much as I hated him then we're best mates now, same circle of friends regularly socialise together and wouldn't be without him, so even if it starts off dodgy it can work out well in the end.