Marriage issue, in laws

mam906

My 6 month old son was born this year, it’s amazing and I love being a Mother.
What is currently making life difficult for me though is family issues, in laws!
I also have 2 teenage sons
Despite my husband treating them as my own, they haven’t had much involvement with his family. I’ve always chosen not to involve them, they have never been interested in getting involved either. Only once my inlaws have arranged to do something other than food to entertain them. This has never bothered me as they have their own family their fathers side which they are close to.
Despite this, whenever his family see them, they all get on.

We got married in 2015, his sister was a bridesmaid, her husband was usher.
Cut a long story short, my sister in law recently got married and only my husband was usher.
I wasn’t bridesmaid, my own children weren’t ushers. After a fuss about it, my kids were asked to be ushers, but we declined as they weren’t being second best.
The reason for them not being asked was because my sister in law and her partner felt they didn’t know them well enough to be ushers. I disagreed with this as we are a small family and my husband treats these kids like my own. Her husband’s side of the family packed the groomsmen make up, despite some of the kids involved his end, they hardly see but as they are blood related, their automatically involved, her brothers step kids aren’t blood!!

The above caused a major argument in his family, this went on between my sister law and us for weeks but my husband and her have made up, but things aren’t how they used to be, my husband will never forgive her but for the sake of keeping my parents happy and not losing my sister, I forgave.
Me however, won’t forgive.

Lately, I have been checking his phone, he send pics of the baby to his sister and I go mad. When his sister visits, I’ll leave the room 80% of the time.
I also get when he instigates conversation via text with his sister, giving him a row for communicating with her.
When my sister law comes to visit the baby, there is an extreme atmosphere in the room.

The relationship between my sister in law and me is rock bottom. It’s not that good between me and his parents either.
I never mentioned the wedding to her in the build up to the wedding. Then the wedding came and went. I got pregnant and had a couple of miscarriages, my sister law wasn’t really there for her, or me for that matter.
During my third pregnancy, my sister in law played the exact same game as me, she didn’t ask a thing about the baby to her, or ask her how she was feeling etc.

I am now making him choose between me and his sister, I can’t take anymore. We are constantly arguing over his family with my son present. .

Is the only way to sort this being divorce.
Me and my family are inseparable, it’s the total opposite with his family I can’t stand them.

System

I think you need to grow up.

Madmel

The identical thread from the father's PoV was posted on Mumsnet this morning...

elsien

I'm liking the additional touches to provoke a reaction such as the son being present during arguments, and making your husband choose. Nice try.

However if there is any grain of truth in here at all, I'd suggest that there's only one person creating all the drama and it's neither the husband or any member of his biological family.

Money_maker

Well this is cut from it as sometimes its me and sometimes its her...

LilElvis

mam906 wrote: »

My 6 month old son was born this year, it’s amazing and I love being a Mother.
What is currently making life difficult for me though is family issues, in laws!
I also have 2 teenage sons
Despite my husband treating them as my own, they haven’t had much involvement with his family. I’ve always chosen not to involve them, they have never been interested in getting involved either. Only once my inlaws have arranged to do something other than food to entertain them. This has never bothered me as they have their own family their fathers side which they are close to.
Despite this, whenever his family see them, they all get on.

We got married in 2015, his sister was a bridesmaid, her husband was usher.
Cut a long story short, my sister in law recently got married and only my husband was usher.
I wasn’t bridesmaid, my own children weren’t ushers. After a fuss about it, my kids were asked to be ushers, but we declined as they weren’t being second best.
The reason for them not being asked was because my sister in law and her partner felt they didn’t know them well enough to be ushers. I disagreed with this as we are a small family and my husband treats these kids like my own. Her husband’s side of the family packed the groomsmen make up, despite some of the kids involved his end, they hardly see but as they are blood related, their automatically involved, her brothers step kids aren’t blood!!

The above caused a major argument in his family, this went on between my sister law and us for weeks but my husband and her have made up, but things aren’t how they used to be, my husband will never forgive her but for the sake of keeping my parents happy and not losing my sister, I forgave.
Me however, won’t forgive.

Lately, I have been checking his phone, he send pics of the baby to his sister and I go mad. When his sister visits, I’ll leave the room 80% of the time.
I also get when he instigates conversation via text with his sister, giving him a row for communicating with her.
When my sister law comes to visit the baby, there is an extreme atmosphere in the room.

The relationship between my sister in law and me is rock bottom. It’s not that good between me and his parents either.
I never mentioned the wedding to her in the build up to the wedding. Then the wedding came and went. I got pregnant and had a couple of miscarriages, my sister law wasn’t really there for her, or me for that matter.
During my third pregnancy, my sister in law played the exact same game as me, she didn’t ask a thing about the baby to her, or ask her how she was feeling etc.

I am now making him choose between me and his sister, I can’t take anymore. We are constantly arguing over his family with my son present.

Is the only way to sort this being divorce.
Me and my family are inseparable, it’s the total opposite with his family I can’t stand them.

Did you forget that this is supposed to have been written from the POV of the wife rather than the husband?

Rubik

Stop checking his phone, and learn to respect his privacy.

You going out of the room when his sister visits is plain rude - it's hardly surprising that the relationship between the two of you is so bad.

You're making him chose? Ultimatums like this never end well.

And as for the wedding debacle - when will extended family learn that a wedding is not about them but the happy couple?

Pollycat

School really is out for summer...

Comms69

mam906 wrote: »

My 6 month old son was born this year, it’s amazing and I love being a Mother.
What is currently making life difficult for me though is family issues, in laws!
I also have 2 teenage sons
Despite my husband treating them as my own, they haven’t had much involvement with his family. I’ve always chosen not to involve them, they have never been interested in getting involved either. Only once my inlaws have arranged to do something other than food to entertain them. This has never bothered me as they have their own family their fathers side which they are close to.
Despite this, whenever his family see them, they all get on.

We got married in 2015, his sister was a bridesmaid, her husband was usher.
Cut a long story short, my sister in law recently got married and only my husband was usher.
I wasn’t bridesmaid, my own children weren’t ushers. After a fuss about it, my kids were asked to be ushers, but we declined as they weren’t being second best.
The reason for them not being asked was because my sister in law and her partner felt they didn’t know them well enough to be ushers. - that seems perfectly reasonable. I disagreed with this as we are a small family and my husband treats these kids like my own. - So? Her husband’s side of the family packed the groomsmen make up, despite some of the kids involved his end, they hardly see but as they are blood related, their automatically involved, her brothers step kids aren’t blood!!

The above caused a major argument in his family, this went on between my sister law and us for weeks but my husband and her have made up, but things aren’t how they used to be, my husband will never forgive her but for the sake of keeping my parents happy and not losing my sister, I forgave.
Me however, won’t forgive. - a cause of a major argument? Over your kids not being ushers for your husbands sisters wedding? Whatever your smoking, stop!

Lately, I have been checking his phone, he send pics of the baby to his sister and I go mad. When his sister visits, I’ll leave the room 80% of the time. - oh stop it.
I also get when he instigates conversation via text with his sister, giving him a row for communicating with her.
When my sister law comes to visit the baby, there is an extreme atmosphere in the room. - yes because of you! Stop arguing with your husband!

The relationship between my sister in law and me is rock bottom. It’s not that good between me and his parents either.
I never mentioned the wedding to her in the build up to the wedding. Then the wedding came and went. I got pregnant and had a couple of miscarriages, my sister law wasn’t really there for her, or me for that matter. - so what? These people didn't choose you, maybe they just don't like you?!
During my third pregnancy, my sister in law played the exact same game as me, she didn’t ask a thing about the baby to her, or ask her how she was feeling etc.

I am now making him choose between me and his sister, I can’t take anymore. We are constantly arguing over his family with my son present. . - So you're forcing your husband to choose - in essence you're abusing him!

Is the only way to sort this being divorce.
Me and my family are inseparable, it’s the total opposite with his family I can’t stand them.

You need help, desperately. This isn't healthy. Stop before you end up getting arrested!

Red-Squirrel_2

Sort your pronouns out love!

KateBob

As a creative writing project I'll give you a 5/10.


Good research on finding the forums most likely to repond, both here and mumsnet, extra points for making a post that whilst guaranteed to wind people up isn't so obviously a troll attempt.


However you let yourself down by failing to stick to a single narative voice and swapping personal pronouns.
Your inability to foresee that users of money saving expert may also be members of mumsnet and would recognise that the same story has been posted simultaneously from both perpectives is also a huge failure.