Suicide Inheritance - no will

getmore4less

If your parents already have substantial assets another £750k will leave them with some choices.

Spend it, give some away(DOV or live 7 years), or just let the kids(or others that may inherit) pay the IHT bill if there is still enough left.

AylesburyDuck

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I so disagree with your comments I don't know where to begin.


Yes if I had been the mum I MIGHT gift my son some but that's only a MIGHT not a would. It would have nothing to do my son what I did with it.


Sometimes you read threads that make you go wow and unfortunately this is one of those.

Agreed, only my first thought was Eugh nasty!

TBagpuss

OP, youwould have no grounds at all to claim from your uncle's estate - (unless of course he was directly financuially supporting you prior to his death)

Your mum isn't being greedy. She may be making different choices than her sisters, or she may be making choices at a different pace. She doesn't owe you anything any more than your uncle did.

If you are struggling, why not ask her whether she would be willing to help you out?
She may feel that it would be unhelpful to give you money as it would affect your benefits.

getmore4less

A reduced benefit situation can be avoided very easily where gifts are involved.

spadoosh

I love people, so many different views.

Im in a camp that says someone expecting money that isnt theirs is more greedy than someone who is just keeping money that is theirs.

Turmoilat37

Brynsam wrote: »

Your mother recently lost her only brother, who was so unhappy he took his own life. Ever thought that grief might be taking its toll on her, even if she didn't appear to have been particularly close to her late brother?

You don't actually know direct from her how much money she has received - just hearsay from cousins who might actually be enjoying winding you up. Ever considered that as a possibility? People do sometimes behave very oddly, especially after a death and when there is cash involved.

If you are on good terms with your parents, then it is hard to see why she wouldn't wish to share some of the cash, but may simply feel it is 'too soon' for her brother's death to provide what you describe as 'an opportunity'.

Emotions aren't always a basis for logical decisions, especially in the wake of a suicide.

It was a family tragedy and my sister and I have been extremely supportive of my mum and family. As I said in the original post, we're a reasonably close family. As my uncle was unmarried with no children, we were his children. It was a slightly closer relationship than I think many have with their uncle for this reason. The whole family is grieving.

I've not just heard but seen the emails confirming the amount with transfer date so it is a fact, not just hearsay.

Perhaps grief is affecting her logic in this instance. She knows what she is doing though as she is helping sort probate out and the various complex issues.

And as I concluded in above posts, it's her choice. You can argue the ethics of it but...

Sea_Shell

I think many of us may disagree, to some extent, with the way our parents spend their money... however, we must remember it's their money to spend how they wish.

You may hope that they'd be generous to you...but you shouldn't expect or demand it, despite how it might make you feel.

Once the dust settles, you might just be surprised!!!!

Turmoilat37

spadoosh wrote: »

I love people, so many different views.

Im in a camp that says someone expecting money that isnt theirs is more greedy than someone who is just keeping money that is theirs.

You know nothing of the personal relationships within my family, or the complexity of the situation or the history of the situation. Did you know for example that my Uncle was our guardian as my mum has mental health issues and we frequently stayed with him?
I requested practical advice - you have zero grounds to judge me without knowing the full situation..
If you'd also taken the time to read my post more carefully, rather than make a nasty dig about being a gold digger, you would have seen I'd accepted it was my mum's money to do with as she wishes. I don't agree with it, it's very different to how I would have behaved but I'm entitled to that opinion.

Turmoilat37

spadoosh wrote: »

I love people, so many different views.

Im in a camp that says someone expecting money that isnt theirs is more greedy than someone who is just keeping money that is theirs.

Sea_Shell wrote: »

I think many of us may disagree, to some extent, with the way our parents spend their money... however, we must remember it's their money to spend how they wish.

You may hope that they'd be generous to you...but you shouldn't expect or demand it, despite how it might make you feel.

Once the dust settles, you might just be surprised!!!!

I expected it only because my mum's sister made a decision to distribute theirs amongst my cousins. I know my mum is an individual who can make a different situation. It has come as a surprise to everyone as a result of the way the rest of the family has behaved regarding the money.

No demands were or will be made - as I've already posted above, I have to accept I have no right to a penny and she can do with it as she wishes. It's a more complex situation than it perhaps apparent from the OP - we were my Uncle's children, and were treated as such, as he had none of his own.
He took care of us financially as children, I think he would have wanted us to have benefitted now too. That's how he was.

marliepanda

Turmoilat37 wrote: »

You know nothing of the personal relationships within my family, or the complexity of the situation or the history of the situation. Did you know for example that my Uncle was our guardian as my mum has mental health issues and we frequently stayed with him?
I requested practical advice - you have zero grounds to judge me without knowing the full situation..
If you'd also taken the time to read my post more carefully, rather than make a nasty dig about being a gold digger, you would have seen I'd accepted it was my mum's money to do with as she wishes. I don't agree with it, it's very different to how I would have behaved but I'm entitled to that opinion.

You initially wanted to contest the inheritance, so I do not see how there has been any incorrect 'judgement' You literally wanted a legal argument in order to claim money that is not yours.

At the end of the day, your uncle had the wherewithall to build up substantial assets, to have his own company, to look after you as his own children, yet did not make a will which left you any money.

I am assuming by your username that you are 37, so it is long since past the time that your uncle was your guardian.

The money is not yours, it is not greedy for your mother to keep it as it is hers. If she has mental health issues, maybe these holidays are helping that?

You say you would act differently, but you wouldnt, because you are on benefits and if you started gifting away your inheritance to others you would not regain access to those benefits when you needed them.