Big change, new lifestyle!

Pixnmix

Thank you Primrose. I'll look for that book. Sounds like a good fit for whaat I want to do. As for drinks, I've found I like fizzy flavoured water courtesy of OH.

Positive update today. I wasn't tempted at all yesterday to head to the drinks cabinet. The habit has to go, as although I'm not alcohol dependant, I know I habitually drink of an evening and could become dependant. Ive been reflecting over the past few days as to why I got to this stage, and what I want to get to. The truth is that I want to be a social drinker again, not what I am now which is a lone drinker, who binges at times. I hardly drank until 15 years ago when, aged 41, my marriage was breaking up. Christmas booze would be around the following Christmas before then.

I forgot to mention in my initial post that last year I had a load of blood tests done, including liver function, due to repeated illness and fatigue. Everything came back normal, except for iron levels. I'm now off the iron tablets and have been since Christmas.

I plan to go to the gym again after work today and have booked an exercise class. One step at a time and I'm going to get where I want to be. Positivity is now my go to buzz word.

I hope anyone reading this has a lovely day. The weather is glorious, albeit a bit too hot for me.

FBaby

Just a bit of cautious advise, not to put your spirit down at all, you are doing great, but the hardest part becomes when you need to keep going when your spirit are down and suddenly, you are back to seeking comfort. Unfortunately, it almost inevitably happens to some level, and when it does, it has the habit of them making you feel terrible as you start to feel guilty and convince yourself you are weak.

My advice would be to use this time of positive attitude and higher energy levels to plan what would be best for you if/when this happens. How will you deal with it when you do desperately crave that glass of wine and/or you really can't be bothered to go to the gym because you had a bad day.

How will you manage to still say no to the drink and still make yourself go to the gym? And if you fail, how will you handle it so you don't give up on your ultimate goal? The earlier you work out some strategy, the easier it will be to face it positively if it does happen.

Primrose

If going to the gym proves too time consuming some days or too much effort,why not investigate the Leslie Sansom series of "Walk at home" You Tube videos? . They are simple combinations of various steps walking briskly on the spot for 15 minutes or more depending on how much time you have.

Just kick off your shoes and have a mini work out! . Your heart beat will still be nicely raised, you will have saved time going to the gym and your conscience will be appeased!

Fireflyaway

Walking is a good start. I know realistically if I join a gym I won't go but I have started walking 30 mins each day. It's free, no equipment or travel required. Just grab keys and go out the door. Breathing in the air and getting some sunlight is beneficial too. You could listen to some music or an audio book.
I also agree about finding an alternative treat or pick me up for the stressful times. Last night I had a couple of really cool alcohol free beers. It was actually quite nice.

Deewelch

I know how you feel, that is a sad and lonely road you are going to. I also walked that lonely road and what heals me was when some of my friends gave me a puppy to stay for 3 days because he needs to go on a business trip. At first, I was hesitant but agreed to it. Well after three days with the dog I was relieved and happy because I found a new thing to do instead of drinking. I also thanked my friend because later on, he let me adopt the puppy knowing how happy I am. maybe you should try adopting a dog.

Deewelch

I also agree with walking because it helps your body to remove the toxins from drinking alcohol. Exercising is one good way in coping stress.

Pixnmix

Thank you all for your support. I really appreciate it. And it's helping big time with my motivation.
FBaby, that's a really good advice. I'll have a think over it and work out an emotional action plan.

OH and I used to walk a fair bit. I guess we've got into a rut of work full time, spend weekends catching up round the house, visiting adult kids etc, to actually do any exercise together. We occasionally go on a bike ride so I'll have a chat with him and see how we can plan in some time for walks.

Deewelch. A dog is not an option for us. We just don't want the commitment and responsibility for several reasons. One of our children has a dog and I adore him but visiting is fine, keeping...no

Another lovely day. BBQ dinner for 2 in the garden after work is planned. Have a great day xxxx

System

Pixnmix wrote: »

Thank you everyone for your encouragement.
Okborednow, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I can’t begin to imagine the pain you must be going through. That’s been one of the motivators to get healthy .. I don’t want to give my partner, children and baby grandson any distress if I can help it.

I had one positive today. I took a salad with mixed beans to work for lunch, and didn’t even consider the vending machine. However, being 27 degrees here, even in the shade and so hot i couldnt face a walk this evening. Also, my partner (who rarely drinks) had poured us both a large gin and tonic to sit out in the garden with while the bbq was on the go. I’m afraid i caved in and drank it. He wasn’t aware of my decision to cut back until tonight and I wasn’t planning to tell him yet, but he is now and is ever so supportive of this. He told me for years that I drink too much but i wouldn’t listen. Now I have and am sat with a cuppa (thanks for the tip Hazyjo) looking forward to going for a swim tomorrow straight after work as planned.

I do feel angry with myself that I accepted the gin but I can’t undrink it. And it was lovely (he measured the gin as opposed to what I [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] did, which is to lob it into the glass!)

Tomorrow is another day, I’ll take BBH8217’s advice and leave my purse at home. There’s enough spirits at home to drink till the next decade, but it will stop me from being tempted to buy more tonic water or wine. That said, after my swim, I’ll have rat tail hair and no make up so I probably wouldn’t dream of shopping anyway lol

Don't be so hard on yourself. I think one drink after years of habit is a great step. Consider reading 'The Naked Mind' and look at ways of tapering. Getting to sleep can be a problem after a long term habit and tapering can relieve the anxiety and sleep problems.

Barny1979

Have you seen this thread OP? Might help motivation - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5785982/cutting-down-alcohol-thread

Pixnmix

Oops. I haven't been here for several days as life just got manic! That's not an excuse cos I really don't know where the time has gone! Between looking after my little grandson, working, catching up on jobs and sleep, it really has been a bit crazy. BUT i did buy the Alan Carr book"The Easy Way for Women to Stop Drinking" and dr Rangan Chattergee's book that Primrose suggested. I just need to find a quiet evening to read them.

I've discovered I really like angustora bark flavoured tonic water. It's light and not as sugary as flavoured fizzy water. But at £1.80 for a bottle that makes 1 long drink it's not cheap. I don't like the taste of our tap water here, so I've bought a water filter on amazon. It's due to arrive today and will replace my knackered cracked one.

Exercise - done zilch. Alcohol, I'm still having some, but also having dry days too. I'm determined not to touch any now till Friday evening, and if I fancy a couple then I will. I've suggested going for a long walk tonight with my OH. Oh and I've applied for another job that I really want, which would allow more work life balance. All positive stuff I think.

Barney, thank you for the link. I'm going to read it later, and have subscribed to it.

Thank you everyone for helping me on this journey. I'll get there, albeit in baby steps xx