Big change, new lifestyle!

Pixnmix

This morning I woke up feeling tired, ashamed of myself and also guilty for failing, yet again, to stick to my good intentions! I drink too much alcohol, use every excuse imaginable not to use my gym membership, have become flabby, overweight, unfit and am knackering my liver.

There! I said it....now what? The truth is, I drink every evening. Not always excessively but usually at weekends I can drink pretty heavily. I hold down a good full time job, have a lovely partner and family and don’t have money worries. So Im at a loss as to why I throw booze down my neck as I do.

So I joined the forums to try to motivate a change, document my journey to a healthier me and hopefully gain some support, friendships and positivity along the way.

Day one....today Im not visiting the vending machine at work for snacks, i plan on going for a long walk after dinner tonight and NOT drinking alcohol. I can do this....I hope.

fishybusiness

Stopping drinking will leave a void of time - great idea to fill some of that time :-)

System

I wish you well.

hazyjo

I've fallen into the same trap before. It's hard to adjust.


I've found drinking a cup of tea after dinner takes away the desire for alcohol. If you tend to drink before dinner, start cooking the moment you get home. Can you get into cooking? Or coffee? Learn to appreciate something that's edible/drinkable. It will help.

okborednow

Pixnmix wrote: »

The truth is, I drink every evening. Not always excessively but usually at weekends I can drink pretty heavily.

Well done addressing this now OP! I just lost my dad at age 64 back in April due to cirrhosis of the liver. He wasn't downing pints of spirits or anything just wine but in increasing amounts and he was also drinking every day. All the research we did when he got ill said the liver is an amazingly resilient organ but when it goes it goes. It's vital that it's given a regular chance to recover and not drinking every day is a key part of it. I really hope you manage this and i'm sure you'll get lots of support here. My suggestion though would be not to fall into the trap of trying to change too many things at once. Willpower is a limited resource so it's best to devote it to one thing at a time. For me i'd prioritise getting a handle on the drinking and then when you've got that where you want it and have been able to maintain it pick something else to change. Best of luck

KxMx

Well done for taking the first step!

I'd suggest making one change at a time, then slowly introduce the second and so on.

Making lots at once can be a recipie for failure.

Start with what you feel is the most pressing issue.

[Deleted User]

Good luck OP.


I think most of us are in your shoes what ever the ' spike ' is and whatever stage we're at. The trick IMO is small changes at a time because when I tried to change a lot it didn't happen.


Its never easy kicking ingrained habits but it can be done.


Keep going and keep busy and don't buy alcohol, don't carry money / cards at all for the first week. For me, sugar addict, total abstinence was better than reduction.

Pixnmix

Thank you everyone for your encouragement.
Okborednow, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I can’t begin to imagine the pain you must be going through. That’s been one of the motivators to get healthy .. I don’t want to give my partner, children and baby grandson any distress if I can help it.

I had one positive today. I took a salad with mixed beans to work for lunch, and didn’t even consider the vending machine. However, being 27 degrees here, even in the shade and so hot i couldnt face a walk this evening. Also, my partner (who rarely drinks) had poured us both a large gin and tonic to sit out in the garden with while the bbq was on the go. I’m afraid i caved in and drank it. He wasn’t aware of my decision to cut back until tonight and I wasn’t planning to tell him yet, but he is now and is ever so supportive of this. He told me for years that I drink too much but i wouldn’t listen. Now I have and am sat with a cuppa (thanks for the tip Hazyjo) looking forward to going for a swim tomorrow straight after work as planned.

I do feel angry with myself that I accepted the gin but I can’t undrink it. And it was lovely (he measured the gin as opposed to what I [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] did, which is to lob it into the glass!)

Tomorrow is another day, I’ll take BBH8217’s advice and leave my purse at home. There’s enough spirits at home to drink till the next decade, but it will stop me from being tempted to buy more tonic water or wine. That said, after my swim, I’ll have rat tail hair and no make up so I probably wouldn’t dream of shopping anyway lol

FBaby

I would recommend mindfulness as a good guide for distraction. For one, it will tell you that you shouldn't feel guilty when you lapse. Guilt is a very unpleasant emotion, so if you let it get to you, all you'll end up doing after a while is give up and tell yourself it's pointless and/or you can't do it.

What you want to do is very hard work and will take a long time to do properly, you are wanting to undo something that took I expect years to get where you are, so be kind on yourself and don't expect that things will change soon. You'll have ups and downs and these are fine.

I agree with fishybusiness, it's going to be hard, so you're going to need distraction and therefore to think of other things to do to fill the time you would normally drink. It is easier to do something to distract you than relying on will power to tell yourself no over and over until ultimately, you cave in because you have enough of torturing your mind.

It does take will power to do things that you know are good for you, but ultimately you mind and body are telling you that you really don't want to do. Do go for that walk. Even if indeed it is too hot and you decide to come home, at least you've made it out and at least you've given it a try and that alone will give you a boost.

We always come up with excuses, which we convince ourselves are perfectly valid to avoid doing something that demands effort, that is totally natural. It's the time that we need to not listen to ourselves, or even challenge ourselves to prove ourselves wrong. Most of my friends who exercise regularly never feel like going but you get to the point that you don't even ask yourself whether you do or not, it's ingrained in our routine so we do it, and inevitably, almost every single time, when it's over, we've managed just fine and feel amazing. So do go for that swim even if you have a bad day and suddenly don't feel like it at all any longer, you will feel great afterwards.

You've passed the first stage of change which is acceptance that you need to do so. Many people don't get there, so you are on the right track, just remember to be kind to yourself and not expect too much. Any little step is a positive.

Fireflyaway

I can see how easy it is to get into bad habits. I've been in my current (say current, I quit last week) job for around 9 months. I hated it. I found I'd go home stressed and have a glass of wine to unwind whilst cooking dinner. Previous to this I drank maybe 1 or 2 glasses every week or 2 weeks. I wasn't really bothered about alcohol.
So laying in bed the other day it occurred to me that for the past 6 months I've had a drink or 1 or 2 or 3 drinks every night! I've also eaten a lot of stress food. I've gained a stone in this job in 9 months. I do no exercise and recently I've had an abnormal liver function test.....
My point is these things creep up and become habits.
Do you know why you are doing this stuff? Drinking and over eating and being unmotivated is usually a symptom of something. For me it was my job so I quit.
It's really great that you want to change. Picking 1 or 2 easy things and making them habits may be easier than a complete overhaul. I've started drinking lots of water and doing 30 mins walking most days. Sounds feeble but it's an improvement in what I was doing / not doing!
I just bought a book called the unexpected joys of being sober. I believe it's another person who slipped into drinking a bit much but stopped. It's on amazon.
Good luck!

Pixnmix

Thank you Fbaby and Fireflyaway for your advice.

Everyone!!!8217;s advice is great and Its helping loads.

It was so hot today, and all I wanted to do after work was to go home and shower. But I went to the gym for a swim. When I got there, I thought I would just do a quick walk on the treadmill first. 30 minutes of cardio (slowly) between bike and treadmill then 15 mns of weights and toning equipment later, I was baking, knackered....and positive. I decided to give the swim a miss as kids swimming lessons were in one lane, causing loads of splashing and noise. So I did a quick hydrotherapy soak . It was so hot I put my shirt and trousers over my swimsuit, and went home like that lol... I had salmon and salad for tea, a sevillo orange G&T (sorry) and feel far more positive. Just one small one with my OH and then off for an early night. Tomorrow Its choir practice so will not get in till 10pm. That will be my first night in a while with no alcohol. I have been known to buy wine on the way home and drink when I got home. Not any more!